Author Archives: Joseph Swanson

About Joseph Swanson

Math dude by education, software developer dude by trade, blogger dude by hobby, robot dude for the win.

Watch This…aka Clock Talk

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So there I find myself, shopping for watches. Granted, my cellphone has been my primary time keeping device for well over a decade, but every once in a while I find myself looking to accesorize. Watches, why not? Don’t judge me.

uber

+1 gold

Function plus style. Multitasking? You cannot go wrong with a watch. So, I have been poking around a bit, and at first, I had my eye on this jacques lemans watch I found online at bluedial.com:

boxy

hmm

Right? Pretty minimal…sleek…bling-ish? Well, hold your breath. I then stumbled across this guy, also by Jacque Lemans

mmh

there it is

Tell me that doesn’t look like a robot head. I dare you…tell me. Regardless, bluedial has all sorts of brands, if robot head watches aren’t your thing. If they aren’t, you are completely out of your mind, for what it is worth.

Most likely, I will continue to use the smartphone as my timepiece. Still waiting on my Droid Incredible, which should have the most awesome time app in the histories of both apps and time. There still exists a soft spot in my heart for a good, old fashioned watch…maybe if the Incredible looked more robotic, that would cease to be the case.

Computer Forensics

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It would be pretty unlikely, given my history blogging and working in the software development field, that I would not be a computer guy. Quite unlikely, and utterly false, for the record. I too am a huge fan of forensics. Kate and I have nearly worn out our old CRT TV upstairs in the bedroom watching Forensic Files on TrueTV. Can’t get enough of crime fighting science nerds. Saving the day with technology…pretty much my dream job. Combine those observations, and it is a natural assumption that I would be all about Computer Forensics, and that would also be a valid inference.

Maybe someday, I can use my mad skills to serve the purpose of expert witness in a sweet cyber crime…until then, I’ll be cranking out oddly-filtered images using the Gimp:

investigator

-1 weird investigatorobot

Remember the story from a month or so ago about the data exposure linked to printer hard drives shipped to China? Case in point…e-discovery is a huge concern currently. I’ll admit it, I had never thought twice about ‘what happens when you send a document to print’ until that hit the media. Even though the print jobs are not visible after a time on the printer itself, anyone with half a brain would think that said info could be retrieved. This is the realm of computer forensics professionals…yank that drive and get to work…all completely retrievable, until the drive is juiced and files need to be overwritten. Case in point, make no assumptions regarding what is assumed to be secure.

I stumbled upon Elluma Discovery while checking into the field a bit. They are computer forensics specialists…providing expert witnesses in e-discovery all over the place. How all over the place? The examiners in question have testified in State and Federal Courts, at arbitrations, mediations, and depositions. I’m jealous. I just use my skills to make sure lenders give credit where appropriate. If I end up in court in my current position, I have done something grossly wrong. Grossly.

Maybe Elluma is hiring…I could mix my computer skills with my firearms skills. Concealed carrying forensics tech? FOR THE WIN, SON.

4th of July Flags

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I really wish I had a boat. There is not much that fills me with a sense of Americana than seeing an old wooden boat flying the Stars and Stripes. I’m not certain what it is about US Flags on boats, but it is pretty awesome.

To a lesser degree, I take great pride in seeing American Flags on front porches. The good old Red White and Blue almost chokes me up…so too (to a lesser extent) do car flags, but that is a topic for later discussion.

nice

so heroic

I’d love nothing more, than to be out on Fort Peck or Canyon Ferry on a boat of some nature, cruising along with a flag cracking in the breeze. I could easily afford a Jet Ski, but the whole flag effect would be diminished. Maybe jury rig a car flag onto the handle bars of an old stand-up machine…doesn’t really have the same effect or street credibility as you can exude if you are a boat owner.

Our plans for this Fourth are still yet undecided. You had better believe that I will have a flag next to the Bell camper, and a cooler full of tasty OML. Maybe a few hot dogs…if there is room.

Shopping Cart Talk

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I need to start peddling goods. Who wouldn’t want to wear a swantron shirt? Maybe a swantron mousepad? Who knows? They could sell like hot cakes. Or flapjacks.

I have been mulling over the shopping cart issue for a while. I don’t see much harm in throwing up an e-commerce portion to the site, as so long as it is secure. I really don’t want to throw caution to the wind, and have a sketchy shopping cart that I don’t endorse attached to my livelihood.

robotic

*not to perspective

I have been looking into various options, and seem to have found a good one in
Summer Cart shopping cart software. Security is my biggest concern, but one also must look at the other aspects when making a decision of this magnitude…namely, shipping, support, payment plans, and ease of implementation.

Here is a quick screen shot to drive home my point.

cartograph

cart-ography

Summer Cart has integrated reporting. I’m all about my metrics…comes with the territory that I deal with on a daily basis at work. It is tough to make improvements blindly, and running reports is the way to base a business decision. What I really enjoy about Summer Cart is the admin control panel. Anything you could think of is covered…which makes for an easy decision.

Stay tuned…you all better be foaming at the mouth at the thought of some swantron tees. It could be the fashion statement of the the year.

22 Degrees Solar Halo

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I took a spin outside for a brief reading session on my lunch break yesterday. I’m glad I did, as I was treated to a little optical phenominon action…in the form of a 22 Degree Solar Halo. FTW.

I’m posting some pics I snapped…I’ll toss in the full write-up soon.

dang

cool

number 1

inverted

I inverted the colors of that last pic, quite obviously. That will be my template, so to speak, on which to wax nerdy in a Physics-y kind of way. Stay tuned.

Video Card Mania

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At the risk of sounding like a grumpy (thirty year) old codger and really dating myself, I’m going to go ahead and wax sentimental for a second. We had an Atari way back in the day. Way back, as in I thought it was called a “Natari.” It was awesome. My two favorite games… Frogger, maybe of course, and an obscure game called Gopher. Gopher involved whacking gophers on the head with a shovel as they tried to eat your carrots, which you planted as a stork dropped seeds. No way to win…just hold off the gophers until you go insane.

Aah, the good old days.

atari

anyone? anyone?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about my Wii. Every once in a while, it is good to take a step back from the buzz and take a look at the state of things. I’m going to wager that *most of the games thrown out to the market are not even slightly as rewarding to the player as Frogger, Gopher, or Pong for that matter. It is easy to get wrapped up in new things…super easy. It is often hard to qualify, when everything is marketed to its quantified value.

The same exact thing holds true for my dear computers. I always want a new one. If not a new one completely, I want more RAM, a better video card, a meaty hard drive, etc. Even though I spend most of my time hammering out paid posts such as this, for some odd reason I think I need something that can store the Library of Congress and play two first person shooters simultaneously. It is a problem. Let’s focus on computer video cards for a moment, to illustrate my point.

I could, without a doubt, get by with a budget video card. Like this little guy:

bad

the price is right

However, my tech ego dictates that I look at things like this monstrosity:

bad

the price is wrong


…and, I’m drooling a little.

I don’t need that…if you do, hit that link up there and check them out. I’m going to play some Wii.