For purpose of reference, the SEO genius sketchball from this post works here (as a web ninja) and here (as a shirtless starfighter.) See what I’m talking about?

Without further ado…the email thread:

Yoav – Operad Thu, Jan 26, 2012 at 1:25 PM
To: Joseph Swanson

Hello, how much do you charge for a positive review on a software?
And how long does it take to go live?

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Joseph swanson Sat, Jan28, 2012 at 12:15 PM
To: Yoav – Operad

Hello Yoav,

I typically do three review levels

$25 – Links only, worked into a post on a similar topic

$50 – Links and screenshots, brief post (appx 100 words)

$100 – Links, screenshots, user experince…lengthy review (appx 300 words)

I would prefer 48 hours to complete a review, but could do it within a day from acceptance if time is a concern.

If you are looking for a more comprehensive review, we can negotiate a price. All of my posts are topical, and will blend in with my typical content. I have had good luck driving traffic on my previous work.

Look forward to an opportunity…cheers

Joe

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Yoav – Operad Sun, Jan 29, 2012 at 8:24 AM
To: Joseph Swanson

Hi
I want two posts (with 100 words and links) Can you make it around
70$ total ?

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Joseph swanson Tue, Jan31, 2012 at 5:37 AM
To: Yoav – Operad

$85 and we have a deal. Send me details and I’ll have them for you in two days from time of email.

swantron.com is the url…I’ll add relevant pictures to the posts as well.

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Yoav – Operad Wed, Feb 1, 2012 at 11:17 AM
To: Joseph Swanson

Let’s make 3 for 100$ and call it a day?

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Joseph swanson Wed, Feb 1, 2012 at 11:06 PM
To: Yoav – Operad

I’ll do three posts in the 100 word range for $100. Positive reviews, blending in with the look and feel of my site.

Payment via PayPal.

Send details if that sounds reasonable

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Yoav – Operad Thu, Feb 2, 2012 at 9:22 AM
To: Joseph Swanson

100 words is uselss for SEO, it’s too little.

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Joseph swanson Thu, Feb 2, 2012 at 6:31 PM
To: Yoav – Operad

Now you are catching on. Allow me to remind you of the rates I run:

>>> $25 – Links only, worked into a post on a similar topic
>>>
>>> $50 – Links and screenshots, brief post (appx 100 words)
>>>
>>> $100 – Links, screenshots, user experince…lengthy review (appx 300 words)

I am not going to slide you three hundred dollars worth of my services for one hundred dollars, Yoav. Nice try.

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Yoav – Operad Sun, Feb 5, 2012 at 5:55 AM
To: Joseph Swanson

I’m not trying to get you to “slide” me anything,
But I’m sure that your’e aware that 50$ for a short paragraph is too much.

If you can compromise on a lesser price or more words let me know and I’ll
order 2-3 posts.

Thanks.

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Joseph swanson Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 8:38 AM
To: Yoav – Operad

Truth be told, I’m not sure I can rattle out one hundred words about any of your “products.” Your website is full of empty drivel, and the SEO game is a dead horse.

Best of luck and happy kicking…

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Yoav – Operad Thu, Feb 9, 2012 at 12:11 AM
To: Joseph swanson

Now you got my curious. I still haven’t given you any of my websites or products,

How did you gather the information to write me this rude message?

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Joseph swanson Thu, Feb 9, 2012 at 9:08 AM
To: Yoav – Operad

…my starting point was the gif attached as your email signature. It doesn’t take a web ninja to do the rest.

I was working under the assumption that you were looking for a review for something that either operand or sorezki is peddling. If there is another degree of separation, I am even less interested in writing a review. The thought of a software producer actually purchasing services of this nature makes me want to puke.

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Yoav – Operad Sat, Feb 11, 2012 at 11:42 PM
To: Joseph swanson

Well if you knew half a thing about SEO you would know that SEO agencies don’t pay for articles about THEMSELVES but about their clients that has to do with dozens of relevant subjects to the websites.

This conversation will now end because I’m having a hard time keeping myself from laughing at people such as yourself,

Have a great week amigo!

Bye.

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From: Joseph swanson [mailto:joe@swantron.com]

Joseph swanson Sun, Feb 12, 2012 at 12:55 PM
To: Yoav – Operad

Yoav,

Thank you for the lesson ins SEO. As payment for said lesson, I have prepared for you an image to be used as your email signature. I feel it is more befitting of a Web Ninja than what you currently use.

Kind regards,

Joe

web_ninja.jpg
11K

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Yoav – Operad Sun, Feb 12, 2012 at 2:07 PM
To: Joseph swanson

thanks brother!

Sincerely,

Yoav,
Operad OffPage SEO

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I guess we all learned a lesson today. I’m just not sure what that is. I thought I was going to get some money, but instead got a way better post. Yoav thought he was going to get some work done, but instead got a sweet new email signature.

I was getting sort of fed up with this guy, but once I found his bio thing…

(you made more internets)

Maybe I should start selling signatures instead of links…that looks pretty killer.

My newest project brings my end-goal a few steps closer. I now have the pieces in place to put together an actual robotic implementation with the IOIO…since things have officially reached the cool stage, I decided to drop this as a stand-alone project. Complete with pics, a vid, and an app.

IOIOSeek:

dig the lighting

What I have here are two slider bar controlled servos, an analog input-read solar panel, and some LEDs toggled via a button. The control is via the IOIO / Android.

dig the wires

The pictures, however nice, don’t really tell the story. Take a look at the video to see this thing in action:

As the video alludes to, I am going to run with this concept. The automation (robotics) lies in the analog reading with respect to the servo positions. I plan to ‘scan’ the panel…that is the piece that is missing. Once I can implement that mess, I will have a tracking system. Implementations will fall out of that.

+1 tape

As with the last few projects, I have dumped the app on the Android Market for general perusal. The app’s description provides the details of the pin configuration, which is straight forward. I have two PWM outputs, a pure 3.3V digital toggle, and a pin configured for analog input. That is that.

I will push my code to GitHub as well eventually, and provide a link therein. I still need to polish my generic servo code, since my latency was borderline awful in retrospect. Look for that in the near future as well.

As always, drop any questions to joe[at]swantron[dot]com. Feel free to share your IOIO projects with me…

servo in altoids can smells like altoids

This project is a one-off of the PowerSwitch Tail relay project I have out in the wild. I took the button out of the mix and implemented a slider bar…removed the relay and am now driving a hobby servo.

brand placement

Displayed is the relative level (zero to one) of the slider, the slider itself, and a shameless plug. The onboard LED also fires with a brightness relative to the slider position…which I implemented in the coding and sort of left in there.

The basic concept was to get the PWM output configured correctly, in order to control the servo positioning…the slider function is pretty much just the stock slider from the Android Development docs, widened a bit for the sake of video capture. The rest was just mashing around the code I had out there…not too bad.

Check the thing in action:

This project is available for download in app form on the Android Market. Right next to my other guy…search for IOIO. I will toss the code on my GitHub account as well. Fun project…I may branch and see If I can do anything cool with a few servos. We’ll see.

Shoot any comments to joe(at)swantron(dot)com. I can help with any setup issues, if they may arise. Good luck…

The setup is the same as I have been posting. Dual open drain pins with a 10K pull to 5V do the lifting…triggering of pins is handled via my IOIO board…Android app providing a UI to do the switching.

beta version: check.

I went ahead and published my app on the Android Market. It will pop for sure by searching for IOIO.

apptastic

Price: free ninety nine. Can’t beat that.

I also tossed this code up on GitHub. Go nuts.

/swantron

Video time: see this in action.

Basically, between all of the shaky camera work, I download my app from the Android Market, connect via USB, and control the 120V relay via my Droid 2. I will shoot a better video once I clean up my code a bit.

Stay tuned. The README on GitHub and the app details section should have all of the connection information. I can provide any further details via email / comments / @swantron. Have fun with this one…

Link to android market
Link to project code at GitHub

Thou ought direct thine output aftways, to-wards thine USB port of thee. And that is well and righteous.

Well, that still is the case. My latest project has made it glaringly obvious that sometimes a little Python script will render a whole bunch of shell scripting moot. Namely, parsing HTML. Let’s see a picture…

bad lab mobile

Lunch hour project: parse the comments from swantron.com; feed said comments to an LCD screen.

I was horsing around with wget from a CLI a few days ago. I found myself trying to smash through the resultant file via pure regular expressions…which is incredibly clumsy. Well, as luck would have it, my go-to after my main go-to is Python, and this type of thing has been issue enough to warrant a library. BeautifulSoup. It acts to parse the HTML info into items, that can be smashed around as I see(med) fit.

My setup was simple: py script to snag my comments and write serial, Arduino sketch to drive a LCD and read/write serial. And a source of shade. And a WiFi signal to snag.

bad lab mobile-mobile

Check, check, check, etc. Video time:

Pretty slick…hit the fold for the code, as promised, and a summary.

Python parser / serial writer

#!/usr/bin/python
# http://swantron.com
# htlm grab / parse…
# …write to serial out
# 2011

admin = [ 'Joseph Swanson' ]
total = True

import urllib2, time, serial, sys
from BeautifulSoup import BeautifulSoup

# disregard spammers | disregard identical posts | create spam zone

spam = []

# initialize serial write to Arduino

ser = serial.Serial(‘/dev/ttyUSB0′, 9600)

time.sleep(5)

# work section

while True:

# snag html

html = urllib2.urlopen(“http://swantron.com/comments/feed”).read()

# parse

soup = BeautifulSoup(html)

# inspect parsed results

for item in soup(‘item’):
badGuy = item(‘guid’)[0].string.split(‘comment-’)[1]

if badGuy not in spam:

# spammer jail

spam.append(badGuy)

# time modification

postTime = item(‘pubdate’)[0].string
parsedTime = time.strptime(postTime, “%a, %d %b %Y %H:%M:%S +0000″)
offsetTime = time.mktime(parsedTime) – time.timezone
localPostTime = time.strftime(“%m/%d/%y %H:%M”, time.localtime(offsetTime))

# identify me

author = item(‘dc:creator’)[0].string
if author in admin:
print “(” + localPostTime + “) I, ” + author + “, just posted a comment”
print ” ” + item(‘guid’)[0].string
print ” ” + item(‘description’)[0].string
ser.write(item(‘description’)[0].string)
time.sleep(1)
elif total:
print “(” + localPostTime + “) background noise ~~ ” + author
print ” ” + item(‘guid’)[0].string
print ” ” + item(‘description’)[0].string
ser.write(item(‘description’)[0].string)

time.sleep(10)

Arduino LCD driver

// LCD Driver
// http://swantron.com
// basic serial in > LCD display
// 2011

#include

// **Define pins**
// LCD RS – pin 12
// LCD R/W – pin 11
// LCD ENABLE – pin 10
// LCD BACK+ – pin 13
// LCD DATA4 – pin 5
// LCD DATA5 – pin 4
// LCD DATA6 – pin 3
// LCD DATA7 – pin 2
// LCD VSS, CONTRAST, BACK- – ground

LiquidCrystal lcd(12, 11, 10, 5, 4, 3, 2);

int backLight = 13; // Define pin for backlight

void setup()
{
pinMode(backLight, OUTPUT);
digitalWrite(backLight, HIGH); // Backlight level (LOW / HIGH)
lcd.begin(20,4); // (Columns, Rows)
Serial.begin(9600);
}

void loop()
{
// when characters arrive over the serial port…
if (Serial.available()) {
// wait a bit for the entire message to arrive
delay(100);
// clear the screen
lcd.clear();
// read all the available characters
while (Serial.available() > 0) {
// display each character to the LCD
lcd.write(Serial.read());
}
}
}

I’m excited about this project. Even though this deal is in gen 3, I still have some crazy take-off ideas. Create a secure page on swantron to hold a few values…hook up my old notebook as a base station…home automation on the cheap. Replace that LCD with a sketch to search for a particular string, i.e. “open garage door” and boom, there you go. This could be very cool. Introduce twitter to remove my server from the equation…awesome.

Hit the comments with any improvements or project ideas you can conjure. This one has me excited…feel free to challenge me with something cool. As always, thanks for reading, yadda yadda, stay tuned, etc.

* Ensure the roof of the vehicle you are using is obstruction free
* Make sure the ladder is fully opened, with both supports extended to their maximums
* Look for and remove any dangerous/pointy objects from around the vehicle
* Take note of any overhead power lines and or cables

plus one dangerous

Here, I have safely used a ladder to open this second-story window that had been painted shut. Safely used a ladder like a baller.

I do know that there is some sort of hands free interface, and that is what I have put together.

+1 dizzy

Long story short, I have extended upon my PING))) project to include some sweet touchless home automation. I have the ultrasonic sensor interfacing with my garage door and a lamp, utilizing a servo and a PowerSwitch Tail, respectively.

Hit the bump for an awesome video of this thing in action, and for my spippet.

*Video contains a rare thumbs up from the author*

Snippet? Oh, INDEED…

//DIY Minority Report

// Joseph Swanson | 2011
// http://swantron.com

// Setup
// LEDs connected to pins 11, 2-5
// Ping))) sensor signal to pin 7
// Servo signal to pin 10
// PowerSwitch Tail to pin 13
// Ping))) +, servo + to 5V
// Ground the shit out of everything

#include

Servo myservo;

int pos = 0;

// Pin assignment
const int ledPin1 = 11;
const int ledPin2 = 2;
const int ledPin3 = 3;
const int ledPin4 = 4;
const int ledPin5 = 5;
const int pingPin = 7;
const int lampPin = 13;

// Create variables to store LED states / lamp state
int ledState1 = LOW;
int ledState2 = LOW;
int ledState3 = LOW;
int ledState4 = LOW;
int ledState5 = LOW;
int lampState = LOW;
void setup() {

// Servo pin definition
myservo.attach(10);

//Define pins 1-5, lamp pin as output
pinMode(ledPin1, OUTPUT);
pinMode(ledPin2, OUTPUT);
pinMode(ledPin3, OUTPUT);
pinMode(ledPin4, OUTPUT);
pinMode(ledPin5, OUTPUT);
pinMode(lampPin, OUTPUT);
}
void loop()
{
// Reset LEDs levels to low to begin loop
ledState1 = LOW;
ledState2 = LOW;
ledState3 = LOW;
ledState4 = LOW;
ledState5 = LOW;
// Reset Servo position to initial location
pos = 0;

// Set duration variable
long duration, cm;

// Loop section for ping signal pin…start as output
pinMode(pingPin, OUTPUT);
digitalWrite(pingPin, LOW);
delayMicroseconds(2);
digitalWrite(pingPin, HIGH);
delayMicroseconds(5);
digitalWrite(pingPin, LOW);

// Listen with same pin
pinMode(pingPin, INPUT);
duration = pulseIn(pingPin, HIGH);

// Convert time to a distance
cm = microsecondsToCentimeters(duration);

// Configure this for LED sensitivity
delay(100);

// March through cm values…set levels where appropriate
if (cm < 95) {
ledState1 = HIGH;}

if (cm < 60) {
ledState2 = HIGH;}

if (cm < 40) {
ledState3 = HIGH;}

if (cm < 25) {
ledState4 = HIGH;}

if (cm < 10) {
ledState5 = HIGH;}

if (cm < 40 && cm >= 30 ) {
lampState = HIGH;}

if (cm < 25 && cm >= 15 ) {
lampState = LOW; }

if (cm < 10) {
pos =( pos + 14 ); }

// fire all LED values...fire servo...fire lamp
digitalWrite(ledPin1, ledState1);
digitalWrite(ledPin2, ledState2);
digitalWrite(ledPin3, ledState3);
digitalWrite(ledPin4, ledState4);
digitalWrite(ledPin5, ledState5);
digitalWrite(lampPin, lampState);
myservo.write(pos);

delay(100);

}
long microsecondsToCentimeters(long microseconds)
{
// 340 meters per second...do some math
return microseconds / 29 / 2;
}

As the code implies, I have set this thing up to look for pings in particular regions. The LEDs indicate where I am at, and the rest sort of plays out from there. The lamp is set up as a switch, with ON and OFF having separate regions. The servo/g-door opener is a simple ON when the region is occupied…similar to my previous setup.

Pretty flipping sweet. As usual, send any feedback my way. This is still in the proof-of-concept mode, and will likely get scrapped for parts soon. Not to mention, Katie will probably want to be able to use the garage door opener, which I disconnected to string that wire that I have running manually to the servo. Be prompt.

Ronco alert

Check this footage of the OOM3K in action. Here, I had it configured to open the door when the ultrasonic sensor echoes off of something within 8 cm…

After the bump, of course

Not only is this thing awesome, but you can get all sorts of clear looks at my trusty Ronco Showtime rotisserie oven. Yard bird is a big hit at the old Swanson place.

There is not much to this code…I built it on top of the LED binary project code. Prepare for a bitchin’ snippet.

//Open-er-o-matic 3000

// Joseph Swanson | 2011
// http://swantron.com

// Setup
// LEDs connected to pins 11, 2-5
// Ping))) sensor signal to pin 7
// Servo signal to pin 10
// Ping))) +, servo + to 5V
// Ground the shit out of everything

#include

Servo myservo;

int pos = 0;

// Pin assignment
const int ledPin1 = 11;
const int ledPin2 = 2;
const int ledPin3 = 3;
const int ledPin4 = 4;
const int ledPin5 = 5;
const int pingPin = 7;

// Create variables to store LED states
int ledState1 = LOW;
int ledState2 = LOW;
int ledState3 = LOW;
int ledState4 = LOW;
int ledState5 = LOW;

void setup() {

myservo.attach(10);

//Define pins 1-5 as output
pinMode(ledPin1, OUTPUT);
pinMode(ledPin2, OUTPUT);
pinMode(ledPin3, OUTPUT);
pinMode(ledPin4, OUTPUT);
pinMode(ledPin5, OUTPUT);
}
void loop()
{
// Reset LEDs levels to low to begin loop
ledState1 = LOW;
ledState2 = LOW;
ledState3 = LOW;
ledState4 = LOW;
ledState5 = LOW;
pos = 0;

// Set duration variable
long duration, inches, cm;

// Loop section for ping signal pin…start as output
pinMode(pingPin, OUTPUT);
digitalWrite(pingPin, LOW);
delayMicroseconds(2);
digitalWrite(pingPin, HIGH);
delayMicroseconds(5);
digitalWrite(pingPin, LOW);

// Listen with same pin
pinMode(pingPin, INPUT);
duration = pulseIn(pingPin, HIGH);

// Convert time to a distance
inches = microsecondsToInches(duration);
cm = microsecondsToCentimeters(duration);

// Configure this for LED sensitivity
delay(500);

// March through cm values…output LEDs an servo
if (cm < 80) {
ledState1 = HIGH;}

if (cm < 64) {
ledState2 = HIGH;}

if (cm < 48) {
ledState3 = HIGH;}

if (cm < 32) {
ledState4 = HIGH;}

if (cm < 16) {
ledState5 = HIGH; }

if (cm < 16) {
pos =( pos + 14 ); }

// fire all LED values...fire servo
digitalWrite(ledPin1, ledState1);
digitalWrite(ledPin2, ledState2);
digitalWrite(ledPin3, ledState3);
digitalWrite(ledPin4, ledState4);
digitalWrite(ledPin5, ledState5);
myservo.write(pos);

delay(100);

}
long microsecondsToInches(long microseconds)
{
// 1130 feet per second...transofrm inches
return microseconds / 74 / 2;
}
long microsecondsToCentimeters(long microseconds)
{
// 340 meters per second...transform cm
return microseconds / 29 / 2;
}

I hope you enjoyed this one. I had a fun time with this piece of crap. Plus, it has given me some ideas of how to extend this setup into something more refined. Spoiler: more awesome.

What You’ll Need:

*Broken Paper Cutter
*Tape (Scotch)

Steps:

1) Locate Point of Failure

You can see that this particular cutter has malfunctioned due to a broken cutting arm.

brokos

2) Procure a section of tape

(If you are unsure with what to do with the tape at this point, don’t worry…this will come into play in step 3)

tapos

3) Place tape section on the displaced cutting arm

applyum

4) Place displaced cutting arm on cutting arm articulating housing; secure tape

fixdos

That’s that. Leave it in the printer room for the next idiot who actually uses a paper cutter…I bet bewilderment will ensue

too many noms to count. there are countlessly many noms here.

Not only are these breakfast burgers nutricious and delicious, they are uber easy to make. Follow these easy steps.

1) Make two too many bacon turkey burgers for dinner
2) Place said bonus burgers in a Rubbermaid container (here, I went for a 1L with rounded square edges)
3) Bring to work
4) Open container
5) Eat breakfast burgers at work, in the morning

***Note: breakfast burgers are best when enjoyed with multi-vitamin and coffee***