Military Laser Weapon (100% awesome)

I love lasers.
I love weapons.
I REALLY LOVE LASER WEAPONS!

me eyez

pew pew pew

U.S. Military…FTW! The latest addition to the arsenal is that bad boy pictured above. Optimus Prime laser, it is not. It is more closely related to the physics professor laser pointer, but way cooler. Like blind a dude from 2.5 miles cooler. Though it’s intended use is to act as a deterrent, I have money on the blinding thing. It is unlikely that the optical scope’s limitations would allow the user to keep that thing out of the target’s eyes 100%, and with a laser intensity high enough to produce a range like that, blindness would surely ensue.

The only thing better than laser-weaponry would be laser-computer-weaponry. Slap a *nix netbook on that sucker…guaranteed I would have one preordered. It would look something like this…

horrible

much better

The Pizza Proof

i <3 za! nom nom nom The problem at hand is essentially this: "Suppose the harried waiter cuts the pizza off-centre, but with all the edge-to-edge cuts crossing at a single point, and with the same angle between adjacent cuts. The off-centre cuts mean the slices will not all be the same size, so if two people take turns to take neighbouring slices, will they get equal shares by the time they have gone right round the pizza - and if not, who will get more?" The visual break down of the proof is this, in a nutshell: pizza_proof

Pretty slick stuff…NewScientist reports the details in a lengthy feature..

“He [Rick Mabry] suspected that someone, somewhere must already have worked out the simple-looking sums at the heart of the new expression, so he trawled the online world for theorems in the vast field of combinatorics – an area of pure mathematics concerned with listing, counting and rearranging – that might provide the key result he was looking for.

Eventually he found what he was after: a 1999 paper that referenced a mathematical statement from 1979. There, Mabry found the tools he and Deiermann needed to show whether the complex algebra of the rectangular strips came out positive or negative. The rest of the proof then fell into place (American Mathematical Monthly, vol 116, p 423).”

Awesome. I need to tear into the guts of this guy…pretty sweet (and asinine) math.

For the non-math inclined, here is a sweet picture of Freemo, the Talking Pizza. He is funny.
freeme

Not a UFO…just a little SLBM

Unfortunately the swirly light thing over Norway wasn’t a visitor from outer-space. You crazy-ass Scientologists will have to wait for Xenu…turns out the spiral was just a little Ruskie submarine launched ballistic missile (SLBM) that failed..

slbm

Per the BBC:
“A Russian test launch of an intercontinental missile has failed, resulting in a white light seen over parts of Norway.

The submarine-based Bulava ballistic missile failed when launched from the White Sea, the Defence Ministry’s press office told Itar-Tass news agency.

Russian newspapers had earlier reported the failure. At least six of 13 previous tests also ended in failure.

The Bulava can carry six individually targeted nuclear warheads.

It is designed to have a range of 10,000km (6,200 miles), but its repeated failures have caused embarrassment for Russia which hoped it would support its nuclear deterrent. “

Great! Just a little SLBM mishap. Let’s just assume that Russia and the States are buddies (or over 10,000km apart) and get back to worrying about Tiger Woods.

Rad Board 3500

Got a fan? An antiquated pointy skateboard? An afternoon? Neon spray paint.

retard-board

1) pull apart the fan case…a dangerous Rad Board is a good Rad Board
2) replace fan blades with small, sharp, non-menacing looking blades
3) hook above components to the less-pointy end of a pointy skate board
4) put a propane tank looking thing on it with some tubes hooking to the non-spray painted stuff
5) spray anything neon yellow that looks boring, in order to awesome things up a bit
6) fire up the fan and tear ass around the block