swan tron dot com » delicious

Important Work Items

Joseph Swanson — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 23:41:49 +0000

You have to fuel the machine…

+1 Tasty

I guess if this particular software developing machine starts to run on E, it can make a make-shift sandwich out of crackers, peanut butter, Doritos, and EZ Cheese. Maybe smash some jalapeno Cheetos in that sucker…

How to Make Breakfast Burgers

Joseph Swanson — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:45:34 +0000

Trying to spice things up around the breakfast table? Here is something new and interesting: breakfast burgers! Boy Howdy!

too many noms to count. there are countlessly many noms here.

Not only are these breakfast burgers nutricious and delicious, they are uber easy to make. Follow these easy steps.

1) Make two too many bacon turkey burgers for dinner
2) Place said bonus burgers in a Rubbermaid container (here, I went for a 1L with rounded square edges)
3) Bring to work
4) Open container
5) Eat breakfast burgers at work, in the morning

***Note: breakfast burgers are best when enjoyed with multi-vitamin and coffee***

Technological Breakthrough, Ketchup Style

Joseph Swanson — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 21:52:16 +0000

The best thing to happen to ketchup since the upside-down bottle thing:

NOMNOMNOM

For maximum high fructose corn syrup intake, you can dip shit in this thing or go old-school and squeeze this shit on other shit. Now, we just need to clear up the whole ketchup/catsup naming conundrum, and we’ll be good to go.

The future is here, my friends.

An open letter to Nabisco

Joseph Swanson — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 23:45:07 +0000

To whom it may concern at Nabisco,

I love your Triscuit wheat crackers. I am, however, confused by the spelling of “Triscuit.” Is this some sort of play on words with “biscuit?” When I think about whole grain crackers, bisquits do not come to mind. Also, your slogan is very retarded.

Regards,

Joe

How to make the perfect lunch

Joseph Swanson — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:59:29 +0000

Step 1) Tony Chachere’s the shit out of some Wheat Thins
Step 2) Costco pickle jar the shit out of some water

The Perfect Buffalo Burger

Joseph Swanson — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 22:24:43 +0000

If there is one thing I like more than animated GIFs, it is buffalo burger. And I love me some animated Gifs…following that line of reasoning, I really love me some buffalo burger.

How about that slick guy^ ? And those slick burgers ^ ?

Here is The Perfect Buffalo Burger recipe:

Step 1) Place 1/2 lb ground buffalo in bowl
Step 2) Add a few shakes of Worcestershire sauce (feel free to substitute Gloucestershire, Dorchester, or any other German-sounding sauce)
Step 3) Toss in some bread crumbs…this will soak up what little fat there is, and keep the burgers from drying out
Step 4) Fire up the George Foreman Grill…knock that sucker out
Step 5) Cook until desired “done-ness” is achieved…I like my buffalo mooing, so two minutes per side is about perfect.
Step 6) Assemble, and enjoy.

Note:
DO NOT OVERCOOK BUFFALO… order/eat it a full level of done-ness below how you would beef. Trust me on this one.

Note 2:
UBUNTU RULES… try tossing an animated gif together using the trial version of Corel Paint that comes with your stupid Windows machine. The Gimp is free as always with Karmic Koala. Linux rules. Trust me on this one, too.

Funyons??? Never heard of ‘em.

Joseph Swanson — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 21:21:48 +0000

Fuck Funyons. I’m an Onyums guy.

Weekly Drawing

Joseph Swanson — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:10:50 +0000

Cholula Lady: C 2009; medium: Sharpie / Yellow Notepad

More Fine-ass Art for Kate

Joseph Swanson — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 02:48:04 +0000

Subject: The Queen of Soul Food, Sylvia

good sauce, great pitch-woman

Outcome: not-so-lady-like

Sylvia, c 2009, medium: sharpie/yellow notepad

Sylvia looks a lot like George Washington.

Gout Files: 9/16

Joseph Swanson — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:10:05 +0000

Kate and I went to all-you-can-eat-crab night at Looies last night…I’m 90% sure I overdid it. Not only from the standpoint of what is and is not socially acceptable to consume in a public setting, but more from the angle that I have gout, and this crap is horrible for my body.

delicous little bastards

So right now, my bloodstream is the site of a strange battle between ibuprofen and acids trying their best to crystalize. My toe is about 5000 degrees, but pain-free thus far. Godspeed, brave ibuprofen. Godspeed.