Diamond iPad | Bling Fail.

And here I stand, thinking that Apple fanboiz were at the pinnacle of pretentiousness…turns out there is a far worse type of consumer:

diamond-ipad

pinky rang werth bout fiddy bling bling

I think there is a joke to be made about polishing a turd, but I don’t think this particular turd is polished. Maybe if they made it multitask or run Flash…however, this is what some dipshits at Mervis Diamond have done:

This gorgeous diamond studded iPad features 11.43 carats of diamonds, hand-set in a micro-pave styling. The diamonds are graded G/H in color and VS2/SI1 in clarity.

Price tag: $19,999.

Very limited quantities available. Orders will be available June 1..

Good luck with that. I’m holding out for an emerald-studded iPhone. Not. Like that? Bringing back the not.

iPad: iThe iDeal iB-iB-iBreaker

The iPad doesn’t multi-task
The iPad is less powerful than my Mini 9
The iPad is twice as expensive as my Mini 9
The iPad still requires tethering sans WiFi
The iPad is Flash-free
The iPad…

gay

iDo Not Want.

…ups the iTunes bullshit ante with some asinine iBooks bullshit. Dealbreaker.

Honestly, this thing is basically an entry level netbook with a touch-screen and a whole grip of proprietary junk. No HDMI out, so you cannot use your glorified e-book reader as a portable media center. No thanks. Maybe once this thing is jail-broken it will be worth a look, but as the iPad sits in Gen I, this thing is going the way of the Macbook Air…straight to obscurity.

The Apple fanboiz should be all over this stupid thing. I’ll stick to the smartphone / netbook for the time being.