F You Too, Toad

Remember this from…say…25 years ago? I first played Mario on a black and white TV in my neighbor’s basement…I shit you not. Black. And. White. Here it is in color…

dumb

all your castle are belong to us

Well, apparently it took a while, but somebody has finally notices this gem from Toad.

f you too

I'll give Toad credit for pulling out the double birds

Whatever. That may be cool, but by Super Mario 2, he was demoted back down to his worthless status. Remember his “ability?” Being able to lift things quickly? Joke is on you, dick.

Mastering MS Paint: A How-To

Mastering MS Paint is not as difficult as one may think. In fact, with a little practice you too can become a champion MS Paint-er.

For maximum awesomeness, I employ a simple three-step approach:

1) Find an awesome picture to start with. Nintendo PowerGlove? Check. Kid from the Wonder Years? Check. Open that sucker up in MS Paint.

sort of awesome

2) Personalize. Chop your face out of another picture, using MS Paint. Paste it on the awesome picture from step 1, and drag the image to scale.

getting more awesome

3) Accessorize! This is the best part. See how the little shit from picture 1 has on sweet purple shades? Chop those suckers out, and throw it on that guy ^ you made in picture 2.

as awesome as it gets

See! It is just that simple!

And for the record…I’m all over those Warp Whistles in Mario 3. I’ll be in World 8 before you can say racoon tail.