How to Make Breakfast Burgers

Trying to spice things up around the breakfast table? Here is something new and interesting: breakfast burgers! Boy Howdy!

breakfast burger

too many noms to count. there are countlessly many noms here.

Not only are these breakfast burgers nutricious and delicious, they are uber easy to make. Follow these easy steps.

1) Make two too many bacon turkey burgers for dinner
2) Place said bonus burgers in a Rubbermaid container (here, I went for a 1L with rounded square edges)
3) Bring to work
4) Open container
5) Eat breakfast burgers at work, in the morning

***Note: breakfast burgers are best when enjoyed with multi-vitamin and coffee***

Mc10:35

I’m on the fence with this one…the Mc10:35.

McWTF?

McWTF?

To pull this one off, one needs to hit up McDuck’s @ around the time that the elusive breakfast to lunch goes down…hence the name Mc10:35. Order a stale McMuffin from the back rack….order a McDouble…place egg & bacon from McMuffin on McDouble…enjoy.

Hopefully they have some defib pads in the dining area, because I’m pretty sure you are not making it out after that bad boy. Question of the day: do you go w/ french fries or hash browns with that? Or stick with the theme and smash both together?

Technological Breakthrough, Ketchup Style

The best thing to happen to ketchup since the upside-down bottle thing:

NOMNOMNOM

For maximum high fructose corn syrup intake, you can dip shit in this thing or go old-school and squeeze this shit on other shit. Now, we just need to clear up the whole ketchup/catsup naming conundrum, and we’ll be good to go.

The future is here, my friends.

Free Cheese Poster…Get ‘em While ‘e’re Hot

Like posters? Cheese? Free junk? Hells yeah, me too.

free-99

Eat Wisconsin Cheese via deals.woot.com is offering an awesome free poster with the following hype:

“Do you love cheese but you’re not familiar with a particular cheese variety? Do you like trying new cheeses? Refer to this handy guide for 33 popular cheese varieties from Wisconsin. Contains cheese descriptions, cheese storage guidelines, buying tips, handling and cooking guidelines and tips on serving a Wisconsin Cheese Course.”

I love cheese, and am quite familiar with particular cheese varieties. Feta? Check. Brie? Check. Pepper Jack? Yep, know that shit, too. Have some in the ol’ ice box right now. I’ll take that poster though…it’ll look great in my cubicle.

2009: A Breakfast Odyssey

great...more retarded pictures of crackers

NOMNOMNOM

Mankind’s quest for the perfect breakfast is the theme of “2009: A Breakfast Odyssey”, a process that unfolds along a space-time continuum. We “pepper-sauce” our primordial past, and we “Triscuit-the-shit-out-of” a cosmic future. The powers of intuition thus become the doors of perception, in our ongoing collective journey.

An open letter to Nabisco

To whom it may concern at Nabisco,

I love your Triscuit wheat crackers. I am, however, confused by the spelling of “Triscuit.” Is this some sort of play on words with “biscuit?” When I think about whole grain crackers, bisquits do not come to mind. Also, your slogan is very retarded.

Regards,

Joe

The Pizza Proof

i <3 za! nom nom nom

The problem at hand is essentially this:

"Suppose the harried waiter cuts the pizza off-centre, but with all the edge-to-edge cuts crossing at a single point, and with the same angle between adjacent cuts. The off-centre cuts mean the slices will not all be the same size, so if two people take turns to take neighbouring slices, will they get equal shares by the time they have gone right round the pizza - and if not, who will get more?"

The visual break down of the proof is this, in a nutshell:

pizza_proof

Pretty slick stuff…NewScientist reports the details in a lengthy feature..

“He [Rick Mabry] suspected that someone, somewhere must already have worked out the simple-looking sums at the heart of the new expression, so he trawled the online world for theorems in the vast field of combinatorics – an area of pure mathematics concerned with listing, counting and rearranging – that might provide the key result he was looking for.

Eventually he found what he was after: a 1999 paper that referenced a mathematical statement from 1979. There, Mabry found the tools he and Deiermann needed to show whether the complex algebra of the rectangular strips came out positive or negative. The rest of the proof then fell into place (American Mathematical Monthly, vol 116, p 423).”

Awesome. I need to tear into the guts of this guy…pretty sweet (and asinine) math.

For the non-math inclined, here is a sweet picture of Freemo, the Talking Pizza. He is funny.
freeme