Better snow removal through technology:
Click the link to see an action-packed video:
Snow? In May? Give me a f*cking break, Mother Nature.
Upon hearing preliminary reports that DC is about to get precisely 1 assload of snow, swantron.com has managed to deploy a field agent robot reporter to the scene.
How are things looking, REPORTRON?
~~REPORTRON: ALMOST TO LEVEL OF VERTICAL THINGS~ WARNING!~~
~~REPORTRON: VERTICAL THINGS JEOPARDIZED!~FLAG RETENTION UNIT JEOPARDIZED! JEOPARDY X2! CAUTION~~
~~REPORTRON: ODD LOOKING STATUE COMPROMISED! SOLID PRECIPITATION LEVEL TO STATUE NUTSACK! BEWARE!~~
Things are quite dire, it seems. REPORTRON is all metric, so things might be over or understated for an empirical system audience… stay tuned for breaking footage! Godspeed, REPORTRON.