swan tron dot com

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Self-Hosting a Bluesky PDS

I’ve been sitting on a Bluesky Personal Data Server (PDS) for a few months now. Why? Great question.. I guess because a few of my privacy-nerd friends were asking if anyone had tried to set one …

WordPress to Hugo Migration

After decades of WordPress pets, swantron.com is now static on Hugo - a fundamental shift to code-first

vinnila

12 year old provided bath bomb to 14 year old (12 year old is in the ET program and was the 6th grade spelling bee runner up)

tronswan update

I’ve been busy with tron swan dot com. It’s still just hammering on stuff and learning, with a robot motif. The robot spins. Reminder: the site is a playground, and is sort of stupid. It …

Eclipse Colander

strain noodles: ❌ strain sun: ✅ 40%-ish solar eclipse in Bozeman. Time to make crescents.

cidamin

10 year-old provided jellybean feedback to 12 year-old..

tron swan dot com

Alex from Peloton likes to say something along the lines of “you don’t have to get ready if you stay ready.” Its pretty good advice. Along those lines I decided to put together a …

MT is Cold

➜ ~ curl -s https://api.openweathermap.org/geo/1.0/direct\?q\=Bozeman\&limit\=5\&appid\=$WEATHER_API_KEY | jq . [ { "name": "Bozeman", "local_names": { "en": …

MT 5G

1/19/2023 - Bozeman gets Verizon 5G It is both fast and several years late.

ooh zap!

I mentioned in the previous post that the lightening picture would possibly look nice on a canvas, or “It would, without any doubt, look fucking awesome on a sleeveless shirt if I crop out the …

Montana Lightening Photo

I don’t think there’s a contest, but here’s my entry. Cellphones are pretty amazing.. that pic was taken through glass via Google Night Sight. The camera operator basically just has …

COVID era

Welp 1. I finally bit the bullet and fixed the site The issues were really straight forward.. I had ssl issues after juggling the wordpress install across several (4?) cloud platforms over the past …

side table production

Work from home? Starving after your midday workout? Arguably snack too much? You need a little-ass end table. I picked up a few sticks of 3/4" copper pipe and broke out the torch yesterday. …

It's Been a Minute

..and a half. Life is busy. Since the previous post, I’ve had this site (generic WP install) on several hosting providers. The exercise was mostly for me to test crap out, live, with a *bit* on …

Aggressive TV Repair: Baking a Motherboard

My 6 y/o reported on Saturday that our a-bit-older-than-the-six-year-old LG TV was broken. My first thought was soccer ball.. turns out the thing just wouldn’t get past the boot sequence, and …

CubeSat Ground Station

Some questions are out of left field. Then there’s this… Dear Mr. Joseph Swanson, My name is Marco Gomez and I am project manager of a CubeSat project that is being developed in Costa …

Zelda 3D

Majora’s Mask. Check.

Fall Wallboard

The Fall Wallboard at work is coming along nicely…

Not a Popsicle

Cheese sticks, while delicious, are not popsicles. Not a popsicle.

Cubs WC

Need more views…go Cubs

Step One

From now on, this is step one: There were tens of steps before that step in the actual Shark hand-vac fix-it effort, but it really should have been step one. For this post, let’s call it step n. …

Wheelin’

…been doing some wheelin’ …wheelin’ around my assistant… …wheelin’ some junk to the junk store…

Gaming

Been doing a little gaming…

Custom Copper End Table 2

I had a 10’ stick of 3/4" copper pipe in the swan tron global HQ, so decided to make another end table. Same amount of torch… This time with more symmetry… My wasn’t …

Rooting Stuff

Devices everywhere. With root. Over the past month, I’ve tackled two root projects…Emma’s Kindle Fire HD, and my Asus Transformer. My motivation was pretty straight forward for …

Robotic Arm Assembly

The small lab assistant and I tackled the robot arm project last weekend. Fifty percent of team swan tron embarked upon the assembly phase wearing bunny slippers… We did this in two big chunks, …

DIY Copper End Table

At some point, I volunteered to make us some end tables for the house. It turns out that I really don’t like end tables…everything I came across was either way to big or too flimsy to …

Custom LED Matrix Project

I stumbled across something potentially amazing…cheap Chinese LED modules: For $35USD, I now have everything I need to assemble a 64x64 LED matrix, provided I stay off the coffee long enough to …

Lab Weather

My small lab assistant and I have our anti-cabin fever project figured out… Phase 1: Assemble as is Phase 2: Go nuts for a while Phase 3: Sever wires / attach to breadboard Phase 4: Automate …

Poor at Mailing

My attempt to mail a physical letter had mixed results: Mail mailed: none Resultant coasters: one

Poor at Mailing

My attempt to mail a physical letter had mixed results: Mail mailed: none Resultant coasters: one

How to Code

I snapped a picture of a coworker’s “script” he is working on utilizing the object libraries we develop. Apparently, I’ve been doing it all wrong. How to code PrtScn a bunch of …

Ubuntu 13.4

It has been a busy several days. I decided to upgrade the fleet to Ubuntu 13.4…and everything that a non-long-term-supported distro involves. Step 1_: backup data Step 1a: reevaluate backup …

Encabulating Photon Emission Interface

My small lab assistant and I tossed our hats in the ring and were invited to compete in the 2013 Red Bull Creation competition. In short, it was great. Team swan tron didn’t make it to the …

rbcreation

In the home stretch… …which I thought would be a slam dunk. As it turns out, the programming phase for team swantron is a laborious thing at best. Code is boring. I knew that coming in, …

Encabulation

Quick update on the Red Bull Creation status. We’re turbull encabulating… I’m lacking a sufficient power source to push a ton of these LEDs simultaneously, so that is that for now. …

Red Bull Project Update

Yesterday was fruitful. We are mostly done with the non-electronic portion of the build. I have a very tired jigsaw and a new-but-already-stress tested Dremel Multimax cooling off on the bench. Oh …

Oblig Red Bull Check-in

Thinkin’ of a master plan Timely song placement, Pandora…well played. Thinkin’ thought. Profiled and ready to implement. I can see the finish line beyond a bunch of Dremel-ing and a …

The Calm Before the Storm II

Materials, purchased. I’m a bit further down the road as of this posting, and already in a tool crunch. It looks like Lowe’s is the winner of this round…I’ll be back there …

TurBull Encabulator Unboxing

Big news. Team swan tron made the cut for the 2013 Red Bull Creation competition. Sweet and I made an unboxing video to signal the official start of awesome junk… –kit guts– As the …

BSOD – TGIF

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy developing on Windows?

Dr. Whom

My primary motivation for elliptical-ing… An Asus Transformer perches nicely upon the ledge of a Schwinn elliptical trainer. Entertainment value is increased, and the view of the timer is …

Gallatin Valley Four Wheeling

The only thing I’ve been doing pertaining to the site has been to polish off the resume and get a new job. That sort of stuff. I did run around the Gallatin Valley last weekend…chasing …

EE Feature

swan tron dot com recently made the front page of EEWeb. Well I’ll be. ENHANCE ENHANCE I appreciated the bump in traffic. I am more appreciative of the recognition by an EE site. Don’t …

rPi Hardware Servo Control

Today’s lunch consisted of cold chicken and some fun with servos. Servos, Python, Linux, IO, chicken…nice little Friday. The goal of this abbreviated session was to figure out how PWM …

Python IO on rPi

My next ‘real’ project involves implementing a web interface to control some of the things around swan tron global HQ, the half of the garage I reserved for my lab. I’ve been a huge …

Unbricking an Android Tablet

This whole thing began innocently. D-Rock had picked up an Arnova 9 G3 tablet, and wasn’t satisfied with a few things. I wasn’t satisfied that he bought an off-brand tablet, at a truck …

Variable Soldering Station

My trusty old Aoyue digital soldering device has seen better days… I’m putting together a wine cork decoration for Katie. It turns out that a Dremel with a cutting head is the easiest way …

2012 Sandwich of the Year

Introducing the 2012 Sandwich of the Year: triple decker bacon w/ cheese 50% more delicious than 2011 champ, bacon w/ cheese. Still busy, still no RazPi progress. Been working on a side site in the …

Adafruit Raspi Kit

Time to blow the figurative cobwebs off my figurative Python skill set… Adafruit RasPi kit has arrived…the cobbler kit is the final piece I’ve been waiting for. I have a USB hub …

Wii U

First impression: the software update phase takes way_too_long at 17 down My guess is that hundreds of thousands of pimpled tweens are likely prepping their systems, in preparation for handing me my …

Busy

Busy at work upgrading the RightNow site. Busy at home chasing our mobile baby. Not too busy to throw a thumb up… New blog content will follow shortly. I have a RaspberryPi Cobbler kit and case …

Galaxy SIII as an E-Reader

Maybe the most pleasingly unexpected aspect of the Samsung Galaxy S3 is it’s e-reader usefulness. I have a tablet collecting dust…the size / resolution of the S3 screen knocks it out of …

Re-Imaging Windows (For Work)

The Bozeman Oracle branch doesn’t have desktop support. As luck has it, I am a talented enough sleuth to troubleshoot Windows issues. Me: “I have a virus that has infected a library used …

brobot

Cool brobot, bro… Brobot thought the couch was ubersketch… Broski totally already snarfed my small niece’s small sock and some wrapping paper from under the guest bed. Party foul, …

The House of the Future

*to be determined If this thing can digest puffs and Cheerios, we’ll be happy, futuristic parents. Bring on the bots.

New Shovel

We have 180 linear feet of sidewalk. Reason enough for a new snow shovel… Thanks to D-Rock for parting with his toy. I’m sure the sorrow will be history once the CanAm deal works itself …

Legend of Zeltron

Per tradition… After a nine month parenting hiatus, I’ve managed to wrap up Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword. Bonus points awarded to the developer who was tasked with reddening up the final …

Occidental Distro Setup

I’ve wanted to play around with Adafruit’s Occidental distro since it was announced. The whole gist of the release is that it better caters to the hack-y types…they have taken …

H44x0r-ed

It looks like the script kiddies are back in class. I’d recommend taking a look at http://www.college-paper.org/, in order to figure out how to better “zero day” a site The …

Delusional Cubs Fans

Only one of us knows that the Cubs are fighting to keep from losing one hundred games this season… …go Cubs

G+, FB, & TW

I have a strong suspicion that all of this shit will fade away. A webpage about a website, made for posting things about website posts. Really neat. Anyhow, some idiots who sell ads have this as a …

Office-ial

New office.. …same old tricks

Back in the Lab

Blow the dust of the multimeter…project time… Mission: resurrect an electronic stapler from the dead. You have to start somewhere.

Casa de Tron Swan

Now with 100% more sod… Unfortunately, I ordered and slapped down 6500 ft^2, which was short by 15%. Project status: ongoing.

Million Dollar Idea

Spam filter for physical mail. Somebody run with it. We must have been inserted into some sort of new homeowners database. Each day, several ‘official looking, if this was 1983 or so’ …

Android Spy App

Suppress for a few minutes any issues you may have about invasions of privacy. I’m going to talk about something very cool from a technology point of view…namely an Android Spy App. The …

Giant Shades

First trip out with the new shades… …Vulcan Salute-worthy.

Star Trek Glasses

Ever since the announcement of the Google Glass project, I have had an image of Geordi La Forge in my head. Good old Geordi… Honestly, the project is pretty cool. The prototype units are sort …

Debian on Raspberry Pi

Up and running on the 47 inch Vizio… So cool. Next item: get WiFi configured and working. Next next item: poke around with the pin-outs. Next next next item: something awesome involving Python. …

Swantron Global HQ

2.0_beta V2.0 features a window, giant banana plant, and on-desk fire extinguisher. Action item #1: drop Debian on SD card for RPi. Status: in progress.

Raspberry Pi Unboxing

It has arrived… My condolences go out to my Arduino and IOIO boards. This thing is very amazing. Long story short, we have a full blown Linux box with a bunch of interface options. Stay very …

True American

Ford, Montana, Stars, Stripes, Bald Eagle. Bunch of guns. Just missing a PBR and one of the Hank Williams in the background.

4G LTE in MT

4G device-having Bozeman residents awoke to a nice surprise today…Verizon flipped the LTE switch a few months earlier than anticipated. They must be calibrating the network, as my speed tests …

Samsung Galaxy S III

I haven’t had the best phone on the market in my posession since the LG flip-phone era. Until this afterlunch… Samsung Galaxy S III. I’ll post plenty about this good-looking thing. …

Cruz Tablet Review

As much as I love hanging out at root, there is no way to justify doing so for the sake of a piece of shit eReader. Velocity Cruz…Android 2.2, awful firmware, and laughable hardware… …

Expensive Tree

Our offer for this giant tree was accepted. Pending an inspection and some title work, this tree should belong to us on the 14th of July.

The Cheapest Android Tablet in the World

Fifty bucks. Fifty. This thing is almost as rad as a Transformer. Except that it is 7" and *probably* too under-powered to run Flash. It has killer battery life, so I will put this to use as an …

Old Man Truck

I would be lying to say that it wasn’t disappointing to see my Silverado SS from the rear view mirror of my new Old Man F150. Emma outgrew the SS about a year and a half earlier than I had …

Script Kiddie

Good times with dad… …Linux VM on the work Win7. We don’t really mess around.

The Crappiest Woot Bag of Crap

Hefty? In need of a red shirt? My third Woot BOC showed up, and lived up to its name. Incredibly crappy. Unboxing… Sort of sad that the Fuji 1.5V long life AA was the surprise hero of the box. …

Bag of Crap 2012

Woot! Things are coming up Milhouse…stay tuned for the un-boxing.

Bonus Bacon Lattice

The only thing better than bacon is bonus bacon: the bacon left over from a bacon feast. The only thing better than bonus bacon is the ellusive bonus bacon lattice… Stack while hot, …

Android IP Webcam Demo

Poking around on the Android Market for an app to control my Foscam IP Webcams, I stumbled across a cool app concept. Long story short, someone wrote some code to serve the live camera …

Invoking the Triforce

The three constituents of the Triforce are Power, Wisdom, and Courage… … …I’ve got wisdom and courage on lock, but am hoping the Baum Bat customization lends itself to more …

Spark Fun

Fire and brimstone… IOIO #1 is fucking toast.. Close call with the new 3-cell LiPo. It took some time to get the singed plastic smell out of the *lab…all three cells appear to be intact. …

IOIO on LiIon Battery Power

I finally bucked up and picked up a few Li-Ion batteries for my dust-collecting Clocky mod project. A two cell, a three cell, and a suitable charger for the two arrived in the mail yesterday. …

DIY Baseball Trainer

With men’s league baseball around the corner and a new Baum Bat in my garage, I got antsy to hit some baseballs. Since the sidekick keeps me close to the house on weekends, I had to improvise. …

Meta

Even spiky-haired sidekicks need spiky-haired sidekicks… +1 meta.

Android Curtain Call

I spidered my D2 a handful of weeks ago. The replacement phone I received shipped with Gingerbread…which with my previous version of CyanogenMod was built on top of. I rooted the new device …

11 Days to Go

My sidekick doesn’t seem to care that the Cubs are going to be lousy again this year. Season starts in eleven days…we are tied for first place until then.

Android IP Webcam Screenshot

I have to admit that I’m pretty impressed by the Foscam’s IR capabilities. I snapped a screenshot on my Droid last while we were getting the princess ready for her bath… The lab was …

Android Controlled IP Webcam

New toy alert… The price of IP webcams has dropped to a pretty ridiculous level. My cheap little Foscam can handle audio and has eleven sweet little IR LEDs for nighttime footage…should …

Quick Salsa

Recently, I found myself in a bind at work. I had chips, but no salsa…a true doozy of a predicament! Being a daft culinary whiz, I improvised a work-around: QUICK SALSA How to make Quick Salsa: …

Project Demo

One step closer… This thing screams with wall wart power. Watch… Now comes the hard part…choosing a decent battery and mounting the circuit board savely on the chasis. I have …

Upgrading DC Motors to Servos

A whole bunch of Dremel work and some hot glue… The Clocky conversion to servo motor control is mostly done. I still need to make the servo mounts more secure, but the initial test runs look …

Working for Oracle

Same title; different managment; same cube; different name on the virtual paystub. The M&A is complete…I’m officially working for Oracle. Excitedly working, in fact. I find it amuzing …

Chrome Robot Wheels

These rims are hotter than the combination cutting and grinding bit on my new cordless Dremel (after I’ve been cutting and grinding servo fittings with which to secure the rims in question.) For …

Rattle Can Makeover

Impatiently awaiting my Dremel from Amazon, I made an executive decision that Clocky’s bright orange motif had to go. Clocky already had some big rims; sort of like my SS. Sort of too like my …

Custom IOIO Enclosure

My conversion from DC motors to continuous drive servos is going to be a little more involved than first assumed. The idea is to keep the speaker, upgrade the drive-train, and re-purpose some buttons …

The SEO Web Ninja Incident

So. I sell some links on my site from time to time. The people who do the actual purchasing of said links tend to be sketchy…some are just penny pinching scumbags, while others are outright …

Epic Time Battle

Here is a little fun-fact. As of a few months ago, there were more cellphones than people in the United States. Millions more, in fact. The trend is the same for all Western countries, but let’s …

IOIO Project Revamp

A while back, I put together a project that added remote control via an Android. I broke out the leads to the DC motors that were existent, and left the structure largely intact…resulting in a …

Beer 101

New hobby: applied chemistry Alright Mr. Beer…it is you and I. Game on.

PDF to Word Converter

PDF files have all sorts of great implementations. When security is a concern, it is pretty much a standard in the software industry to go with PDF…as much as I love a plain text file, …

Woot Customer Support

Mr. Beer. That name again is Mr. Beer I bit on the Mr. Beer home-brewing kit last woot-off. Much to my dismay, the kit arrived in a giant brown cardboard box, with a sizable puncture would in the …

Online Hiring Option | On-the-Job Trials

Consider the following set: S = [ outsourcing, crowdsourcing, trialsourcing ] You probably have heard of the first two elements of set S. Each of the first has merit, and each has its drawbacks. …

New Samsung Device

Samsung kills it when it comes to hardware…Galaxy S 2 is high on my list, and I’m fairly certain I will end up snagging a Galaxy Tab at some point. Turns out Samsung makes one hell of a …

V-Day Eyeglasses

Cranky baby. Not a whole bunch of sleep. Shifted sense of humor, or some sort of tiredness induced insanity. Either I have completely blasted past any sort of touch with reality, or this is really …

Android Dev Teaser

Before the rugrat showed up, I managed to make some progress on my next project. I just realized that I hadn’t put together a teaser post, hence this quickie. I started thinking about how to …

New Droid 2

Unboxed and rooted… …bloatwear wiped. Going to research ROMs a bit, but will likely be on CGM7.1 in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.

Spidered Screen

We had a great run… …the old D2 finally met its match. Broken and bruised, the little guy is still working like a champ, bulging battery and all. New phone soon…going to have to …

WWF Royal Rumble

Zig and I have been having some heated Words with Friends battles recently. I had to snap a screenshot of this ridiculous game status… It was bullshit that Ziggy wasn’t awarded more …

SOPA Day

I stumbled upon a SOPA protest last night…I first thought Wikipedia had jumped the gun, but realized it was after midnight on the Eastern side of things. Elsewhere for some entropy …

Managed Service Provider

So, I’ve been doing this software thing for a while now. It is a strange, strange industry. It is becoming more apparent that every implementation of a generic service ends up falling into a …

RBG LED Controller

My off-the-cuff remark about building an auxiliary bilirubin light manifested itself into a quick project. In order to approximate the specific color of the bilirubin lamp, I figured that I would need …

Tron Baby

My sidekick is already dabbling in solid state physics… …namely, the optics around the 440 nanometer range. She is oxidizing some bilirubin into biliverdin. I have a bunch of RBG LEDs on …

Android Side Project

Much like the girl has decided to keep at the in-womb thing, I have decided to keep at the Java thing. Little brat. I decided to figure out how to dump accelerometer / orientation data off of the …

Rural Satellite Internet

For a long while when we buffering used to stream YouTube buffering videos our inter… buffering …net connection used to be sort of buffering OoO buffering OoO buffering lousy. It would …

Still Waiting

Our daughter has not arrived yet. Stubborn like her dad, who has somehow been able to keep out his hospital bag jerky… I am ready for both…baby and jerky. Soon, hopefully.

IOIODC Project Details

Consider this the conclusion of the IOIO DC motor experiment until further notice… I’m chalking this up as a success. Even though it is ugly and raw, I learned a ton mashing this thing …

Nerd Broom

Better sweeping through technology: Still really enjoying this leaf blower…

Nerd Shovel 2

Better snow removal through technology: Good times with the Hitachi.

How To Fix a Hitachi Leaf Blower

A few months ago, I picked up a killer leaf blower on Woot. Our yard is devoid of leaves. Last week, I tried to fire it up to clean the pine needles off of our steps…no dice. The thing …

Festive Eyewear

I’ve made it pretty clear that I have been mulling about regarding my next cell phone. It is a tough decision. Compared to the jump in technology from my previous leap out of BlackBerry-ville, …

Droid 4 vs Droid Razr

Flashback to 2010. A simpler time. I was finally abandoning my BlackBerry, which is basically one step above bag phone by today’s standards. I was torn between two devices: the Motoroala X and …

Remote Control Via Android

The motorized orange thing project is a wrap. Well, as wrapped as it will be for the time being…Katie is full term, so we are working on borrowed time. I managed to introduce remote control to …

My Weekend Aspiration

I aspire to clean this mess up. I have an app tossed together that provides my six digi-outs. I just need to spend some time welding my soldering iron, and figure out how to mound this stuff on the …

Project Progress: H-Bridge

I thought I could get away with utilizing the onboard 6V from my cannibalized motion platform…aka the orange thing…in order to power both the DC motors and my IOIO. My bluetooth …

Quad Monitors

The only better thing than one nice monitor is two nice monitors. The only thing better than two nice monitors, is one really nice monitor and a hi-res laptop monitor. The only thing better than one …

Spotify on Linux

Hey nerds. Guess what? Spotify on Linux. Super easy too…fire up a terminal [ctrl-alt-t] Step one: cd /etc/apt Step two: sudo vim sources.list Step three: add “deb …

Project Hardware Wrap Redux

So close… I hit another snag with respect to my IOIO specs butting heads with actual power yield. An early success: …followed by being unable to replicate via battery control, despite …

Project Hardware Wrap

The hardware phase is complete… … …now I just need to mash together some code and awaken this orange beast.

Precision Soldering

I am going to have to wait until my caffeine levels are at some sort of equilibrium before I tackle this series of wire joints… …this is where I stopped. I may be spending more time …

CIQ Revisited: Root Your Phones

If there hasn’t been enough reason to root your phone and flash a custom ROM in the past, this whole CarrierIQ mess ought to be the death blow to factory junk. It is a rootkit, and it is …

Carrier IQ Rootkit

I’ll update this thread first thing in the AM, but there is some major unbelievable nonsense going down with Carrier IQ and assumed secure connections. Consider this article a primer until I can …

Conquered it.

Oh? Zelda Twilight Princess? Conquered it. The hardest part of snapping this pic was avoiding eye contact with Katie, who was on the couch laughing at me. Tradition is tradition. As I was preparing …

Project Preview

My new IOIO project is in the ‘bunch of pieces’ state. It also happens to be in the ‘my effing hardware works’ phase as well.. I’ll keep mum on this for the time …

BOC Unboxing

It (still) never rains… The second woot bag of crap is equally as crappy. …as much as I like refurbished ethernet routers, I think BOC round two wins. Winning being on an inverted scale, …

Bluetooth Servo Control Redux

The project is wrapped. I have fully shown servo control via bluetooth, via Android, via IOIO. +3 via The easiest way to test this, by far, is to snag the app on the Android Market. Here: This does …

Bluetooth Servo Control

Taking it up another notch…servo control via bluetooth Watch the video to see the Andoid / IOIO / servo in action: I’ll get app updated on the Android Market and on GitHub this weekend. …

24/7 IT Support

As a dude who makes his living in the software-as-a-solution CRM software world, I appreciate the subtleties of Application Hosting when it is done right. I am in SaaS engineering, or as every …

IOIO Servo Controller v2.0

I’m preparing to publish a project utilizing the new bluetooth library for the IOIO. I started horsing around with my IOIO Servo Controller application, and finally got frustrated with the lag …

Wooot!

It never rains… …another Bag O Crap. Expect another unboxing when number two arrives.

The Bozeman Bear Incident

Sunday morning, I popped around the side of our house and entered a crime scene… … … …after careful deliberation, I concluded that the garbage perpetrator was a bear. That …

IOIO Bootloader Update

Well, I made some progress this weekend with respect to hardware, firmware, and bootloaders. My bluetooth IOIO implementation is still giving Eclipse shit-fits. I am seeing an error with the bluetooth …

Montana State Satellite

In 2001, I was part of a team that set out to replicate the space science performed by Explorer-1 in 1958. Explorer-1 was 25 pounds, and our solution was a 2.2 pound, 10cm by 10cm cube called MEROPE. …

MSU Satellite Spoiler

Ten years and a few months ago, I became a licensed HAM operator… That means, without any doubt, that the satellite that MSU stuck in orbit last week has indeed been a long time coming. …

Virtually Awesome

You may be wondering how I could one-up my work setup. Probably not, but play along. We are too .NET-y for me to nuke Windows, but Oracle-y enough to get carte blanch on a whole bunch of new stuff. …

Repair Center in U.S.A.

We have notebooks all over our house. Not notebooks in the traditional sense, but notebooks in the sense of ’the future of computing’ notebooks. You know, laptop computers. The future is …

Leaf Blower POV

Trees and leaves, man. Trees and leaves. Good thing I picked up a new Hitachi two-stroke leaf blower from Woot. Video one: Droid meets concrete Video two: Leaves meet street I’ll fully admit …

Pushing to Master

Just hanging out. Committing a little Java. Introducing IOIOSeek v2.1. In preparation for my next project, I have beefed up my app to support four simultaneous servos, three real-time analog readings, …

Android SDK / Eclipse / Ubuntu

I updated to Ubuntu Oneiric Ocelot last week. For some reason, the automatic upgrade process botched pulling over my Android Development Tools (ADT) components. Chalk this one up with the strange …

Upgrade to CyanogenMod

My relationship with Motorola’s firmware has ended. It was a good run…well, no. That is a lie. It was certainly better after rooting my Droid 2 and wiping out Verizon’s boatware, …

Quantum Levitation Explained

Quantum Levitation is all over the webs. It is way easier to find videos than it is to find explanations…it all boils down to this: You may want to kill the sound for the video…pretty …

IOIO Seek Redux

I published my code for the IOIOSeek project to GitHub. Here it isFork it, do what you will. My next step is to refine the project, add some automation, and make it cooler in general. I grabbed a few …

Online Tech Auctions

I spend too much time online…I’ll fully admit it. It is absolutely necessary, however; I test SaaS for a living. My physical computing projects do not lend themselves to non-online …

Ubuntu Update Day

The Dell Mini 9 always draws short straw. The little guy once again gets to play the part of guinea pig, and be the first to upgrade to the new version of Ubuntu. V. 10.11 a.k.a. Oneiric Ocelot …

Work Monitor Upgrade

Add another 17" monitor to the boneyard…I’ve upgraded to a new 24" widescreen. One step closer to my end-goal of two 24" screens to supplement my 17" notebook. Big …

Precedent Setting

I may be guilty of child abuse before the small Swanson girl makes her first appearance…

Android IOIO Project | IOIOSeek

I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and stepped it up a few notches. My newest project brings my end-goal a few steps closer. I now have the pieces in place to put together an actual robotic …

Futuristic Looking Sinks

What is the term? Form follows function? Not sure; I’m not a classically trained sink designer. I can tell you what I look for in Undermount Sinks… they should vaguely resemble robot …

Stock Control System Info

disclaimer > I am not clarivoyant < / disclaimer > I’ll make a bold prediction. **You are reading this post on a web-connected device!**Cunning, righf? I will do you all a favor and cut …

Online Mind Fitness

Fun fact: math guys find math stuffs in non-math stuffs Fun tip: don’t study number theory Fun tip bonus aside: If you think of numbers as things instead of numbers, they will take on funny …

Managing Multiple WiFi Access Points

So, every once in a while, my home WiFi connection will drop an error bomb on me. It always seems to be at a horribly inopportune moment; I am trying to do some actual work at home, and all of a …

Triple Monitors at Work

It kills me a little bit inside every time I boot into Windows at work. Just a little bit. It seems like Microsoft is following Canonical’s lead, by introducing an Ubuntu-like hover bar deal to …

Prototyping Phase

Code…check Components…check Once I sew this all together, I’ll have a good one to post. Shooting for Sunday evening…

IOIO Servo Project Recap

So, good news and bad news in regards to my IOIO servo controller project. Good: I have published my code to GitHub. See… Bad: Ytai, the creator of IOIO itself, let me know that my code is in …

IOIO Servo Controller

I just doubled my Android Market presence with one fell swoop. IOIO project number two is in the books: IOIO Servo Controller. This project is a one-off of the PowerSwitch Tail relay project I have …

More IOIO Headers

Proof of concept stage has passed…we are full on code cleanup and prep for video on the servo project… I should have the app polished and on the market Saturday afternoon. Tune in.

IOIO App Redux Time

I put together a simple proof of concept using a slider to control a PWM pin out…simple is an understatement. Nice, right? In doing this, I did a fresh download of the IOIO example apps, as I …

Nursery Furniture Assembly

As I mentioned in the post that precedes this one, I have been assembling things on a larger scale lately. Well, larger scale for a smaller scale person…getting the nursery ready, namely. Both …

Output Lull

Not sure where this picture came from exactly…trying to get video working via Cheese on Ubuntu is my best guess. It has been sitting on my desktop for a while, ready for something. There it is …

Bonus Content: IOIO Circuit Diagram

My new amigos at Ytai’s Google Groups IOIO page and I are still spit-balling my project details. I am providing a circuit diagram to help the discussion. For the fuller project in detail, check …

Watch Out

Nerd cred is nerd cred, right? Not necessarily. Take, for instance, gaining nerd cred via unboxing a Woot BOC…pretty nerdy. That is contrasted by more nerdy nerd cred, like trading messages …

Satellite Internet Options

Q: What is worse than a dial-up internet connection? crickets chirping… crickets chirping… crickets chirping… A: Very little? I don’t know. Dial up is unacceptable. So …

IOIO PowerSwitch Project

I can finally report a conclusion of sorts on the IOIO / PowerSwitch Tail project. The ‘of sorts’ disclaimer is in regards to my Android App, which is pretty much a working beta. I have …

Git er Hub

Making progress on the IOIO marathon project. GitHub has been chosen as the initial hosting deal. Configured with a little hello world this evening. Click on that for some CLI awesome junk. If not, …

Adding Headers to an IOIO

Q. Am I dragging my feet with the whole IOIO code cleanup deal? A. Take a look at this little pictorial dealio regarding soldering headers to my IOIO Exhb 1: Exhb 2: Exhb 3: I’ll get on that; …

Baseball Heroics

Black Sox, for the win… 2011 Gallatin Valley Men’s Adult Baseball League champions. You can’t tell due to the backlighting, but there are four games worth or infield on that uni. …

So Long, Zoot

I had three great years at Zoot Enterprises. Time for a change, however. Thanks for it all.

Android 120V Controller

It was worth the wait…I now control 120V via my Android. I had a mostly sleepless night, again. I managed to figure out what I had been botching while trying to provide enough juice to my …

Good News

Katie and I are happily expecting a baby girl…due date: 12/31 There she is^ I have money on the little lady having big, brown eyes. Very excited to meet her.

Ubuntu Fast Flash Issue

I was horsing around with the Google+ Hangout function last week. In installing the required Google / Flash plugins via Ubuntu Update Manager, I managed to cripple my system. I wiped Flash off of my …

Blown Multimeter

So, good news and bad news. Yin and Yang. I managed to get my open drain setup working with the IOIO. Ytai was right…just needed to dump more current through the sucker and pull 5V from the …

Adding Surface Mount Power to IOIO

Some career-oriented things have kept me largely out of the Bad Lab. I finally decided to dust of the soldering station and get a permanent power connector surface mounted to my IOIO board. I tackled …

New Things

It was either this… …or an embedded Van Halen music video. You are welcome. Cheers to new things.

Open Drain Example IOIO Android

Hi. This project never ends. I have been cutting my teeth on some electrical engineering 101, in an effort to push 5V through my IOIO. At this point, I am still not able to report a success. I do have …

Future Contact Lenses

Google’s Project Glass…very cool. The prototype units are sort of reminiscent of Star Trek, but they serve a unique function. Merging computing and vision is not an easy thing, once the …

Black Monday 2011

I finally gathered my nerves and opened my TDAmeritrade account after the market closed. Pretty ugly. If the dollar wasn’t jacked, I would be in buy mode. As it stands, I’m staying put. …

Nerdy Weekend

Disclaimer: I have two baseball games in which to play tomorrow. Play well, FWIW. I am spending my night watching ‘Ask an Engineer.’ Getting my nerd on (well, FWIW.) Support Lady Ada / …

Choosing a Web Designer

My skill set is so sufficiently awesome in the design realm, that I can turn this… …into this… …using nothing but MS Paint. I can also put down an entire box of MSG in a …

Bad Lab in Action

My enjoyable night of programming my IOIO slowly devolved into a digital multimeter-needing mess. Either I am reading the spec sheet incorrectly, or this thing is wonky. I have implemented a pull-up …

Android IOIO Digital Output

I am one coding session and one EE session away from having a pretty cool project to post. In the meantime, I am making some progress with the IOIO. Eclipse and I are still having our issues, but the …

I Need a Camera

I need either a camera, or a backup Android for dev. I’m shooting for the later. For real though…cash for a used Droid X. Anyone know of a good marketplace to pick a used one up? …

Google Plus Instant Upload Settings

I am still horsing around with Google+ on my Droid 2. A few posts back, I lambasted the Instant Upload feature. The whole idea of tossing geo-location-having pictures onto Google’s servers seems …

Eclipse and IOIO

Five Volts are so 2010. I’m all over this three and three-tenths Volts stuff. Don’t call it a comeback. I blew the dust off of my IOIO board, and am ready to do some 3.3V stuffs. I have …

Android Instant Upload to Google(plus)

I created a Google+ account last week, in order to kick the tires a bit. I am going to hold off on a full review until I get some circles going, test the group video chat functions, etc. I do want to …

Arduino 120V AC Relay Example

I got tired of poking around with LCD drivers with my Arduino. Time for a quick project to mix it up…staring at a surge protector always puts 120V on my mind. As it turns out, I tore apart an …

Spoofing User Agent Types from the Command line

I’m back on the command line…look out… So, I am still poking away at various ways to interface between the bash and various web components. This stuff is still shaking out of my …

Awesome Gadget Blog

As a gadget guy, I am always searching for new tech stuff. Every once in a while, I stumble across a new Gadget Blog that is awe-inspiring. I recently found one that blew my mind, due to some of the …

WordPress 3.2 Custom Layout

After the whole fiasco that came with my upgrade to WordPress 3.2, I decided to shell my old layout and go with a new free website builder. Not only was it too bloated with jqueries, but the whole …

WP 3.2 Dual Fail | PHP and MySQL

My good friend Alexi from Siteground assured me that my new server is a good one. One that has MySQL 5.0 and PHP 5.2.17. Even though my cpanel was reporting 5.2.17, such was not the case for my PHP …

Lunch in the Cubicle

Still dining finely on fancy lunches in the cubicle. This week’s installment…three gourmet burgers. I find three to be the ideal number of main entree items at the office. …

Evolution of a Project

I have two speeds when it comes to projects: percolate and bazooka. Whereas my swantron comment / to / LCD project was bazooka, this Twitter deal has been percolate. Haven’t been able to jump in …

Nerd Bucket List

I guess I had better find a new bucket list entry… I was so excited upon beating Ocarina of Time, I snapped a self portrait with the end-screen… …and, I am in my 30s. Wow. Now …

swan tron dot com

Don’t call it a comeback. Or a re-branding. You can’t really re-brand something that lacks, in large, a brand. Let’s just say, I’m dropping the ninja. The robot stays, but …

RC Helicopter Tear Down

A while back, I collected my first Woot BOC. The prize crap in the bag of crap was, without any doubt, the radio controlled Batman helicopter. Great Scott… Wrong movie catch phrase, right? …

Fancy Lunch

Most of the programmers around me subside wholly on Mountain Dew and Cup ‘o Noodle. Time to class-up this joint. Skewers should do the trick. +1 fancy.

Twitter CLI Teaser

I sort of forget what my original project entailed…something about tweeting via the command line, for Arduino purposes. You can pretty much just toss a bunch of words in a hat, and add …

Satellite Internet Basics

Q) What would make a guy throw caution to the wind, and void a (quite significant) warranty on a piece of technology? A) An internet addiction. I rooted my Droid 2 a while back, largely due that …

Twitter Project Teaser

A while back, I tossed a little concept video out to the nets regarding CLI interface with my site’s comments and an LCD screen. I figured that I could do a similar thing with my Twitter …

Ubuntu Natty Netbook Review

I have had Natty on my Mini 9 for a few days. It runs like a top. Solid state HD equates to a sub double digit boot time…be sure to configure compiz via: sudo apt-get install …

Makeshift Linux Heads-Up Display

Per my last post, I began upgrading my Dell Mini 9 last night…from Ubuntu 10.10 to 11.04. Well, at some point, it tossed a fit about not being able to snag a package, and hung on a dialogue box …

Ubuntu Natty Netbook

As my primary notebook has proven that can run several terminals, a Firefox tab or four, Eclipse, and the Arduino IDE simultaneously without shitting the bed, it is time for my netbook to follow suit. …

Basic Mower Cord Repair

I snapped our lawnmower cord. Oh snap. As it happens, I can fix anything. Without exception. My one-pull-wonder lawnmower has been a great machine. Katie has been using this mower since she was a …

Trustworthy Online Brokerage Account & Services

So. I may be one of the only people in the world left who listen to talk radio. More embarrassing than that, I would, without a doubt, be considered a dedicated listener. There is nothing worse than …

HTML to Python to Arduino to LCD

Last week found me standing tall upon my shell script soapbox, shouting command line praises to all who would listen. Thou ought direct thine output aftways, to-wards thine USB port of thee. And that …

Python Teaser

After a deal of success with the command line interface-to-Arduino project, I am in the middle of stepping it up a notch. I ended up on a few blogs due to that last effort, which indicates that I am …

Woot BOC Unboxing

It showed up… I got excited and made an un-boxing vid. Apparently, I get twitchy when I am excited. Probably why I interview like shit. Anyhow… So, my three dollar (eight with shipping) …

It Never Rains

Greetings from 4800 feet above sea level…the ever-lovely Bozeman, Montana. Bad news to everyone to the right side of the Rockies: we are sending more water your way. Bozeman Creek is starting …

Compiz Error in Ubuntu Natty

For the most part, I have had good luck with Compiz, Unity, and Ubuntu 11.04 in general. I have said it before, but worth a repost…if you do a vanilla install of Ubuntu, the first thing you …

Command Line LCD Arduino Interface

Liquid crystal displays are pretty awesome. Command line interfaces are very awesome. Hmm… I started daydreaming at work about how to go about making hardware interface with an RSS feed. I have …

Upside of My Coffee Intake

I have always felt a touch of guilt in regards to the amount of coffee I throw down the colloquial hatch on a daily basis. I drink the stuff out of a pickle jar…I kid you not: It cools quicker. …

Inexpensive Ink Cartridges

Back in my college days, I did a lot of printing. As a math major, I probably printed a fraction of the amount of pages that most students had to rifle off. Most of our work was done either by hand on …

Easy LCD Arduino Display

I am tired of looking at wobbly windows full of Eclipse. The best and worst part of the IOIO board is the fact that the libraries are Java-centric…unfortunately, I am in the middle of a …

World’s Greatest Search Term

Tearing through my server logs, I have encountered the best search term in the world. I sure hope that the searcher found what he or she was looking for. In your butt.

Woot Bag-O-Crap FTW!

I’ve been trying to snag a Bag O’ Crap from Woot since 2007. At long last, victory is mine. I verified that my card has been billed…it appears legit. I might have to post a nerdy …

IOIO Android Breakout Board

~~~~ WARNING: AWESOME ~~~~ My new thing has officially arrived. Both in the literal sense and philosophically. I love my Arduino, and I love my Android…now I can have the best of both. …

Cheap Eyeglasses

Due to either poor eye genes or work related strain, my vision has really taken a turn for the worse. Let’s just go with work and call it a day…three monitors are certainly awesome, but …

LED…Matrix or Cube?

They’ve arrived… 125 white LEDs. My first thought is 5*5*5 LED cube, powered by the Arduino. I am also thinking that a 6*20 LED matrix would be pretty slick. Either way, my soldering …

Electronics Recycling Info

Let me vent, briefly. My first cell phone was a mobile phone. Mobile, as in car phone. Car phone, as in ‘you can make calls from this faux leather bag that sits on the passenger seat with this …

MMMexican Beer

Katie and I impulse bought the crap out of this at Costco… …Dos Equis is pretty tough to beat. In my book. May your Cincos de Mayo be equally awesome. Buenisimo!

Verizon Wifi Tether…Droid + Ubuntu

The internets have been abuzz with talk of further stifling of Android tethering. Regardless of what will come of this, I would recommend getting a setup in place. May as well…you paid for the …

Purple Drink

Baseball season is right around the corner. I am very ready to brush the dust off my cleats and see if my custom Triforce edition Baum Bat has as much pop as I suspect it does. A teammate and I have …

OBL Helmet Cam Footage 2

Drudge is reporting that the White House is preparing to release a photo of Osama dead. There is all sorts of speculation going on now…talks about releasing a video of his burial at sea, for …

How to Use a Ladder

Ladder safety is a must in my book. Before tackling that weekend project around the house, take a look at these ladder tips I have collected. * Ensure the roof of the vehicle you are using is …

Ubuntu Natty Narwhal Features

I’ve had some time to poke around under the hood of Ubuntu 11.04, a.k.a. Natty Narwhal. I still am struggling to spell ’narwhal’ for the record, but I’ll share some of my first …

You’re Killing Me Smalls

1997 called…they want their dial-up back. Looks like someone pissed off the network admins at work. I would find this really funny, if I were not excited to try Ubuntu 11.04 in a VM. Cancel. …

The Salsa Incident 2

Having automated junk is awesome, for the most part. One drawback became glaringly evident recently, as I was enjoying some salsa in the lab. Right on the goddamned floor. I have a pretty good idea …

Projects in Flight

I have two projects running right now…both are really grinding my gears. Colloquially speaking. You know what? That is a stupid term. Scratch that. I have two problems that I am trying to …

DIY Minority Report

Spoiler1: This is awesome. Spoiler2: I’ve never seen Minority Report. I do know that there is some sort of hands free interface, and that is what I have put together. Long story short, I have …

Seiko Solar Watches

I will fully admit that a product that includes ‘solar’ in its name already has my attention. One of my ‘hindsight being what it is’ items involves biting the bullet, being …

Garage Door Hack

Introducing Open-er-o-matic 3000. OOM3K. My finest project to date. I have my Arduino poking around with a PING))) sensor, a servo, some LEDs, and best of all…my garage door opener. End result: …

Ultrasonic Distance Sensing

I really should have a running list of these mini-projects I have been cranking out. This one: using a PING))) sensor from Parallax Inc to drive LEDs for a set of values. Sounds boring, but it is sort …

New Prozac Lawsuit

It seems like the interwebs is full of info regarding a prozac lawsuit of some sort. If you don’t believe me, let Google auto-complete “Prozac Lawsu..” and see for …

Ping Sensor Project Preview

Parallax Ping))) sensor in the house. Literally. This dapper-looking little guy can accurately measure distance from a few to a few hundred cm. It is very simple by design…basically just a …

Arduino Binary LED Project #3

My LED work-in-progress has manifested itself as a binary counter, with 100 ms accuracy. Like so… Video of a video, for the win. So, basically I have put together a counter that will gauge time …

Spring in Bozeman

First green grass in the Swanson yard. Bring it on. I’m ready to pull a rake.

Driving Multiple LEDs with an Arduino

I have had a bunch of white LEDs in my Amazon shopping cart for quite some time. I was tossing around the idea of doing a 5x5 cube a while ago, but ran out of steam on that project. I blame the …

Farmville for Dummies…Sounds about Right

I can question the location of this book, but find the title to be spot-on. Zing. I think I won that round. Joe Swanson: 1 // Bozeman Barnes & Noble (and FarmVille) 0

Best Online Shopping

As I am an expert on all things internet-y, it should come as no surprise that I am a proponent of online shopping. A staunch proponent, in fact. Don’t get me wrong…I am all about grocery …

Man Lamp

My light needs were not being met in the lab. Garage, lab, whatever. Anyhow, I picked up a halogen work light at the hardware store, thinking that the base dimensions and output would make for a …

Arduino Servo Fan Control

Before you try to dr this, I have included a video to combat the tl crowd. You’re quite welcome. See below. Now I’ll explain. I may even toss in a snippet…who knows. Basically, I …

Alien Abduction Proof

The Bozeman Daily Chronicle should have ran this story on a full front page spread. Instead, they chose to obscure evidence of alien existence in Montana, placing this item in the police …

Amateur Hour

I’m mid update…son of a bitch If things appear to be off, that is why. I won’t have time to QA this beeyotch until tomorrow, midday at the earliest. Many apologies.

Alarm System In Progress

I suppose I should add a few words. I placed the images in an empty post several days ago, and sort of forgot to update the text on mi telephono. Dios mio! Well, long story short. I put together the …

Cool Ranch

So there I am, eating Cool Ranch Doritos at work… …noticing there is a correlation between “blue-ness” and “delicious-ness” Wait, blue is a color and a flavor? …

Linux Systems Update

Done, done, and done. All systems go. I dropped Ubuntu 10.04 LTS on the 17" Dell, via an old image-having CD I had in the man-lab. Updated via the manager to 10.10, on my makeshift table: No …

State of Affairs

I’ve been busy. General business…not so much free time business. Here is a brief run-down of what is in the works: Item: Environment updates I am in the middle of re-purposing my …

PSA

Winning.

Messy Lab is Messy

Demolition phase: complete I feel like a space cadet…too many things in flight. Component central over here.

How To Find A Blown Electrical Component

Katie’s flat iron failed…TO THE RESCUE! Pull that sucker apart… Burn mark…oh snaps…TO THE LAB! Blown switch…NOW WHAT! I’m going to try to bypass the …

Minimizing Distractions at Work

That title is misleading. Between shit-ass dogs and overzealous project managers, I am pretty much fucked. At least I have my lunch break to recharge the colloquial batteries. WiFi, Arduino, …

Street / Trail / Heater Stand

One more use for my beloved Honda… …keeping my ’lab’ functional in darkest winter. I am very ready for Spring, but am still cranking out some projects. With marginal success. …

Arduino Solar Cell Night Light Concept

So, I’ve formalized the solar cell project I have been poking at for a while. I managed to clean up my code and mess with some initial conditions, etc., and now have a fairly solid proof of …

Time Wars…Watch vs Cell Phone

If you would have asked me a year ago if I thought there was a need to wear a watch, I would have told you no. More specifically, I would have told you, “why would a person purchase a watch, …

Military Watch Technology

I spend all day staring at screens. Be them my work monitors, (also know as “the twin twenties”) or the hi def screen on my mobile phone, (Droid 2, also know as “the D2”) I …

Mad Solder Skillz

Some time ago, I snagged a robotics kit from Amazon. A few weeks after said time, I assembled the mechanical components of said kit. I assumed that the electrical assembly would be equally as …

Arduino Solar Cell-Based Detector

*Proof of Concept Warning*-*Proof of Concept Warning*-*Proof of Concept Warning* Mission: Utilize a solar cell to vary the intensity of an LED Supplies: Arduino Duemilanove <–> USB …

Solar Cell Teaser

+1 doing Arduino proofs of concept at work on lunch break I packed a solar cell and a little breadboard to work today…put together a little sketch together over my lunch break to control LED …

Let’s Talk Toner

Where do you buy your toner? From a brick and mortar toner store? Get with the times… As with pretty much anything tech-based, the only practical way to buy toner cartridges these days is to …

Woops

Nuked that LED from space… In my ongoing fight with my Ethernet Shield, I had a bright idea that the sucker might have some bad jumpers. Welp, I put together a little blinking LED code and let …

Network Admin Fail

I haven’t had much to publish as of late. Not for lack of trying; I have been quiet because of a damned roadblock. I figured I could smash my way through a few MAC/IP settings, and have my …

Home Security Chat

When I think security system, my brain immediately jumps to a webcam. More specifically, a webcam and a couple of servo motors. Most specifically, a webcam, a couple of servo motors, and a slick web …

Android GPS Test

As I type this, there are over thirty satellites blasting around geo-sync orbits transmitting GPS data. As luck has it, my battery-ass-draining phone has a receiver built-in GPS receiver, of which now …

Arduino Proof of Concept Vid

As promised, behold the much-anticipated footage of my Arduino AC Interface proof of concept. It was dark in my ’lab,’ so the footage leaves something to be desired. So, if anyone is in …

Arduino AC Interface

I finally got around to throwing out a little proof of concept with my new toy. I managed to utilize a PowerSwitch Tail to gain control of 120V AC with Arduino…and I did it without …

Just…About…Published…

Getting close to having my live wallpaper on the Android Market. I’ve hammered down the image, polished up the cube, tested the app on several emulators, and optimized the rotaion rate. More …

Image Overload: 3D Mapping on Android

I’m one step closer to dropping an app on the Android Market. I’m thinking ’live wallpaper.’ The existing ones on the market are weak sauce, so I might be able to get some …

You’re Doing it Wrong

Nope. That is not how we park cars. -1 had to drive my pickup to work +1 diameters of my rims exceed those of your tires +1 pickup has 20" rims as well …

Android Sudoku

Making progress…2D graphics are far easier than I would have expected. Next up: figure out how to animate and add sound. Bonus: figure out why I am dumping hours into sudoku…not a fan. …

New Toy in the Mail

I stumbled across this product, that I honestly had no idea existed. It is pretty much an AC switch, that can be ‘switched’ via a 5V signal. Let me see…what do I have that can push …

We’ve got Buttons

Welp. Guess I can cross ’learn buttons’ off the colloquial list. Turns out you can make buttons by slamming out some xml. Nicely played, Google. Next order of business…figure out …

Android Hello World

Pushing code to the phone, FTW! I managed to throw together a quick Hello World using the Android SDK, configure a FroYo emulator, and drop the code to my Droid 2. Not a bad little Saturday, really. …

Celebrity Insurance Policies

Did you know that Mariah Carey has a ONE BILLION DOLLAR insurance policy ON HER LEGS? Sorry to do the all-caps shout thing, but that is pretty weird to me. Mimi is not alone here…there are all …

iM tiRed of lazy tech journaliSm

Tech writers are the best. I most certainly don’t read the stuff that hits news aggregates because of informative banter and notable content, I read it for comic value. Well… comic value …

New Egg: A Tribute to Angry Birds

In the spirit of the season, I’d feeling merry. Promo code merry. I hope your season is filled with awesome technology, and I hope you take a tip out of my tech tip-book and use a NewEgg promo …

Internet Marketing Change

I don’t pull punches when it comes to my love / hate relationship with Google. Google may be Big Brother-esque, when it comes to the wi-fi sniffing and general evil empire building. They too are …

Why Winter is the Worst

A: Too cold for the Trail-90 Actually, number one might be “too cold for time in my ’lab.’” I need to get a box heater cranking out there and get to work. My soldering iron is …

Bullshit Lunch

Another comic by Drew that made me spit crap on my notebook…Married to the Sea is one of the best things on the webs.

Too Many Projects, Too Little Time

srsly gyz… Arduinos, Air-Soft pistols, robot kits, Droids, and soldering irons. Seriously…I need some goddamn free time. Maybe this weekend…

North Face Denali

Picture this. Winter. Montana. East of the Continental Divide…let’s say…about thirty miles. Windy. Cold as balls. You are in Bozeman. You need a North Face Jacket. Trust me. …

NASA Finds New Life?

T minus 2.75 hours until NASA hits the stage to talk about a newly discovered life-form. Stay tuned…this is a good day.

Food Slash Math Meme

I like Cheetos, mathematics, and memes, for the record. Regular Cheetos have nothing on jalapeno Cheetos, also for the record.

Droid 2 Must Have Games

Games kick ass, am I right? Am I right? (****Spoiler…YES!*****) Since I haven’t blathered about how awesome Android stuff is in a while, I figured I would ramble about games for a while. …

Are Pajama Jeans Awesome?

Remember Pajama Jeans? I posted about thema while back, stating that society had hit a new low, due to the sheer level of WTF of which Pajama Jeans reek. Even sexy robot lady can’t make these …

Important Work Items

You have to fuel the machine… I guess if this particular software developing machine starts to run on E, it can make a make-shift sandwich out of crackers, peanut butter, Doritos, and EZ …

Awesome Droid Apps Redux

Guess what? I’m posting this via my Droid 2, since Verizon’s 3G is faster than my Bresnan high-speed. Maybe one of their sys admins knocked some servers offline…I bet it is really …

Airsoft Hack Kickoff

I’m working on a project to control an airsoft pistol via my Arduino. The end result is to enable web control of this thing… So far, I have checked off one step of two. My steps are as …

Uses for Old Cell Phones

I remember how excited I was when I picked up my first BlackBerry Pearl. My new, shiny, metallic, trackball-having, Brick Breaker playing, T9 is history-making-me-say, Blackberry Pearl. That bad boy …

Got Bags?

I am not a huge fan of my gigantic Dell backpack that I was issued at work. It is way too boxy, way too uncomfortable, and way too weird looking. Long story short, I ended up online looking at Laptop …

Nerd Wish List

Black Friday is right around the corner. Not to offend anyone, but going to brick and mortar stores for sales is sort of ridiculous. Getting up in the middle of the night, standing in giant lines, …

Robot Pumpkin

Have a spooktastic Halloween…. …from your favourite craptastic tech blog

I Think I Need Glasses

Really, I need to get some glasses. I’ve been putting it off for a long time…left eye is good, but the right eye is pretty much garbage. Insurance policy comes due in January…going …

Watch Time

It would be interesting to see how the market for watches has changed in the past decade. It is reasonable to assume that fewer people are buying watches now, with cellular phones in every pocket. We …

I Love Newegg, You Should Too

You know that part of your brain that makes you do stuff unconsciously, but slowly enough that you have to wonder if it was deliberate? Case in point… You are watching TV, and some botox-faced …

Wiimote Input For Droid

Nerd cred…oh indEEd Playing GBA games on a Droid is cool. Playing GBA games on a Droid via a Wiimote is ubercool. Once I can figure out the accelerometer input, I’ll post more. In the …

Buy an HP… Really

Maybe I am a bit jaded. I have spent far too many hours digging around in Dell laptops…that might make a guy sort of jaded. Maybe it is the fact that I am tired of all of the Dells sitting …

Moshi Monsters Cheats

Looking to adopt virtual monsters and or beasts? Well, swantron dot com has you covered, weirdo. Just kidding…I had to look these things up. Curious about moshi monsters cheats, first acquaint …

Neural Network Learning

I’ve touched on this before, but I needed to give another shout to a true comic genius, Drew at MTTS / Toothpaste / Superpoop. Trifecta of funny…today’s Toothpaste for Dinner is …

Practical Application of Good Manners

Should a styrofoam container implore that I do something, you had better believe that I’m typically going to be less than receptive. However, when I ran across a styrofoam container kindly …

iPhone 4 The Loss

Five million Pounds…that is roughly eight million USD. If you happen to have that sort of loot sitting around, like diamonds, and have bought into the iPhone hype…this son of a gun is …

Wiitarded Concept

Lego Star Wars on Wii: Success Lego Indiana Jones on Wii: Success Lego Batman on Wii: Success Lego Wiimote: Excuse me? Come again… I’m confused as to why this product exists. That said, …

Homemade Croutons

Q) Why is my tech blog so food-centric? A) I don’t know. Here is my recipe for homemade croutons. Dump a bunch of generic-equivalent Cheetos in your soup. There you go. FWIW, I have a few things …

Robomantic Robomance

In honor of the absolute worst national holiday, enjoy a Columbus-inspired robot picture: See what I did there? Now, picture Leo drawing a nudie pic of a big-ass-diamond-wearing-robot. …

Work Like a Fat Kid

Two words: Three sandwiches If I truly was the fat kid at work, that RockStar would have a shit-load of carbs and the coffee would be something other than black. Still, you have to start somewhere.

Motor Shield Assembly Steps

Good news…you don’t have to listen to me blather on. At least blather on too much…there will be some blathering. I mentioned a few posts ago that I was feeling lousy about failing …

100 Plus MPG

My CT-90 not only looks awesome… …My CT-90 is good on the ol’ pocketbook 100 MPG (Miles Per Gallon) 200 MPA (Miles Per Awesome)

Custom Pong Table

I know of one thing more annoying than table tennis…table tennis players. Oddly aggressive, hollering, talking shit, and most bizarre…striking athletic stances? Nope. Not buying into it. …

Montana Muffin

Nice late summer day… Playing cowboy w/ D Rock… Trick time… (-1 off topic) (-1 spelled “muffin” “m-u-f-l-i-n”) (+1 muflin sounds sort of funny) …

sry u guyz

srsly sry srsly sry to the point of making an apologetic, aggressive, lightening-bolts-out-the-ass, image to show my deep, deep regret for my laziness. I realized that I have approximately nine posts …

Robot Impressionism

+1 BLURRY +1 FLASHY ANTENNAE —————————————— 2, FTW

+1 Twin Terminal Sessions

I’d like to post the details of my latest one-on-one with my Arduino…but, I’m not going to. Suffice to say, it was sweet. Anything (non work related) involving multiple command …

One-Armed Banditos

Let’s talk gambing, yes? I may or may not be the worst gambler west of the Rio Grande. Or is that North of the Rio Grande? Both maybe. Quite likely both, due to my track record. Cards are not my …

How Fiber Optics Work

Index of refraction. End of story? You wish…I’m going to pontificate for a while. Where did I set that soapbox… I dig optics. The coolest class I took was my graduate level optics …

Boxing Fail

I knuckled up on my heavy bag again last night… Pretty sure I need to procure some bag gloves.

NPR on Droid

My usual 8 hour Pandora session at work was replaced today with an 8 plus hour NPR session. Yep, even NPR has an app for Android. Move the eff over iPhone…this sucker is gunning for you.

SEO Protip: Ditch the Polls

Many moons ago, I heard through the grapevine that slow sites are penalized by search engines. Being the owner of a fast-as-lightning-bro-you-better-get-your-Nikes-bro site, I didn’t care. After …

Old Cell Phone Uses

I am now an official Android fanboi. It would be impossible to hide that fact. Granted, I have yet to root my Droid 2, but I am at least ninety something out of a possible one hundred ‘big …

Droid 2 or Nexus One 2.2 Plus

The proof is in the pudding (or in the froyo?) on this guy. Droid 2, hands down. Sorry Nexus fans. I ran a benchmark test on my Droid 2 running Froyo. Here are the results, in slick, colorful, …

Discount Tech Time

Guess what back to school means to me…a longer commute to and from work. Dodging coeds isn’t as fun as it sounds. Well, maybe cutting extremely close to bikers is fun. Actually, that is …

How to Hang a Heavy Bag

This is not a chipper tale of how-to boastery. Far from it. I cartoonified the shit out of the following pics, in order to further convey the surreal darkness that was involved in this seemingly …

WeReward Review

Tending bar was easy money. Hang on for a sec…I’ll get to it, via a roundabout, Android laden path. As a new Droid 2 owner, I’m all about my apps. You know what? There are a lot of …

Mid-Morning Snack Attack

Wheat Thins are boring, by design. What is a guy to do, when at work with a bunch of boring-ass W Thins? Easy. Arrange the hell out of the stupid little things and hot snauce them up. Hot snauce the …

Droid 2 Must Have Apps

One week into my tenure as a happy Droid user, I have some insight into what an Android user must toss on his or her unit. This is a running list, of course, but solid enough for a post. Post and a …

Soldering Station

Since I’m really dragging my feet in regards to posting anything of substance, take a quick look at my new Aoyue soldering station. It works like a champ…pretty pumped that I heeded Lady …

Bonus Bacon

What is better than bacon? No, not nothing. Bonus bacon. Circle gets a square.

Status Update

Sorry for the lack of updates. On second thought, no I’m not. I’ve been doing all sorts of awesome crap. My Droid 2 is extremely awesome crap. I really can’t say enough about the …

Droid 2

You will, without a doubt, be hearing about this. A lot.

Servo Schmervo…Arduino Knob

Sweep is for breakfast around here…implement a knob or be gone. Same principle as the Arduino sweep example from yesterday, but with a potentiometer doing the actual lifting. Lifting? …

SRSLY?

lolcat by joe. enjoy.

Lady Ada Would Be Pissed

My source for the Arduino Motor Shield would not approve of my soldering iron. Not by any means… I still have the ‘made in china’ tag on this piece of shit. Poorly played. In case …

Servo Schmervo… Arduino Sweep

In preparation for the impending shit-storm that will consist of me, a soldering iron, and dozens of small, fragile components, I decided to see if I can actually get my Arduino to talk to a servo. …

Arduino Motor Shield

I splurged on a motor shield from Lady Ada for my Arduino antics. Here it is.. “Some Assembly Required” Sonofabitch. I guess my soldering skills are going to be put to the test. Stay …

Antivirus Protection Chat

It pains me somewhat to admit that I still have a dual boot set-up on my primary laptop. 2010 is not the year of the Linux desktop, although Linux has gained all sorts of ground on Windows. Yes, …

Samsung Vibrant Info

I haven’t weighed in on the current state of the cell-phone-o-sphere in some time. I beg your apologies. There are currently two phones that have me second guessing my affinity towards the HTC …

Billy.com FTW!

When was the last time you heard that name...Sally Struthers. Wow. The message holds true, though. We do all enjoy saving money. Well, the internet has made comparison shopping easier than ever …

Softball Injury

I managed to hit a walk-off dinger to end the 2010 softball season. Unfortunately, my shitty co-ed league counts dongs as outs, and my walk-off was the last out of our year. Whoever penned that rule …

Aw Hail No

Weird weather week continues… Odd mix of hail and sun. Me gusta Augesto.

Comics that aren’t Horrible

I have made zero effort to conceal the fact that I hate comics. They are, as a whole, utterly useless. Utterly. In my book, there are only three people making comics that are worth reading. My first? …

Glasgow Montana Tornado Formation

Weird weather week continues…mi madre just snapped these from my parents’ front porch in Glasgow, Montana. Weather Underground has this thing at 65 MPH and 13,000 feet. Five miles out. I …

World Record Hail

Vivian South Dakota? Ever heard of the place? Yep, neither have I. It has been a bizarre year around my neck of the woods, weather-wise. Giant hail in Bozeman, tornadoes in Billings and all over the …

Binary Red/Green Snippet

One step closer… Switch open yields a killer red LED… Switch closed yields an uber-sexy green LED… I even tossed in some 1K resistors to keep my LEDs healthy, in addition to my …

Pull Down Switch Arduino *Fun

Maybe Vegas got the best of me, brain-wise. I’m struggling mightily with this pull-down switch prototype on my Arduino. I got it, after far-too-much troubleshooting. Maybe I need another frozen …

Lou Piniella Retires

This should go on 26outs.com, but, hey, why not throw it here. Sweet Lou is hanging up his manager-cleats at the end of the 2010 season. Too bad. I was hoping Piniella would surpass Bobby Cox in the …

Custom Silverado SS

Here is the end result of my customization. Not too shabby, if I say so myself. Kate and I are going to take off and get married. Catch you all in 10 days or so.

Arduino Haiku

I put together a little sketch while I was horsing around with the Arduino serial monitor… …pretty stupid, huh? Especially, since it repeats this horrible haiku every five seconds. …

Granite Sink Chat

I suppose I am picky when it comes to sinks. Not bad picky, but picky enough to know what I want. I spent the better part of a decade with double sink set-ups, between my restaurant and bar work …

Laboratory Equipment

I think what I fondly refer to as my laboratory might not classify as a true lab, per se. I have some sweet stuff going for me in my garage workspace…but the lack of lab equipment might leave …

How To Stretch a Wedding Band

1) Get this stuff 2) Put it like this 3) Smash the crap out of the metal thing with the framing hammer, until stuck 4) Remove metal thing and ring with vice grips, awl, 2x4, and framing …

Hot Dog Sandwich

Worst idea I’ve had in quite some time…hot dog sandwich. Here is how you make a retarded hot dog sandwich, in case you feel a need to wreck your guts, feed a prisoner, lose your job, etc. …

american residential law group info

Times are still tough. Our economy is still a wreck. Foreclosures are still rampant; however, there is no need to give up your livelihood. When push comes to shove, why take a hit and declare …

The Great Bozeman Storm of 2010

I snapped this pic from work (in Four Corners) about twenty minutes before hell wrought down fury upon Bozeman, Montana in the form of large hail. Hail dents the size of Matzah Balls. Details will …

Watch This…aka Clock Talk

So there I find myself, shopping for watches. Granted, my cellphone has been my primary time keeping device for well over a decade, but every once in a while I find myself looking to accesorize. …

Work is Awesome

How many desk drawers do you actually utilize on a daily basis at a software development company? ***Spoiler alert…effin zero*** Extra drawer overload…what to do? Food, for the win.

Computer Forensics

It would be pretty unlikely, given my history blogging and working in the software development field, that I would not be a computer guy. Quite unlikely, and utterly false, for the record. I too am a …

Aruino + Ethernet = In the Mail

Amusing Amazon order time… Arduino Ethernet shield, and a ring stretching tool. Go figure. Both respective projects will be well documented.

4th of July Flags

I really wish I had a boat. There is not much that fills me with a sense of Americana than seeing an old wooden boat flying the Stars and Stripes. I’m not certain what it is about US Flags on …

Custom Auto Detailing

Customizing your Silverado SS is easy. You’ll need: * Spray Paint * Junk Mail, and * Masking Tape That’s it. Mask off the areas you don’t want murdered-out with the mail and tape. …

Shopping Cart Talk

I need to start peddling goods. Who wouldn’t want to wear a swantron shirt? Maybe a swantron mousepad? Who knows? They could sell like hot cakes. Or flapjacks. I have been mulling over the …

22 Degrees Solar Halo

I took a spin outside for a brief reading session on my lunch break yesterday. I’m glad I did, as I was treated to a little optical phenominon action…in the form of a 22 Degree Solar …

Video Card Mania

At the risk of sounding like a grumpy (thirty year) old codger and really dating myself, I’m going to go ahead and wax sentimental for a second. We had an Atari way back in the day. Way back, as …

Billings Tornado Picture

Here is the first pic I have seen come in of the soon-to-be-infamous Metra Twister. Shot from the Heights by none other than Hat Shop Tony. Hopefully someone posts some image of the Metra getting …

Billings Metra Tornado

Breaking story…The Billings Metra is roofless. I imagine it went something like that. How it spun down from the Heights and still had that much power may be interesting to see. More to come.

Kodak Easy Share

I’m writing this post on the road. Opera Mini is what it is… It certainly is not a blogger’s smoothest means of posting content. That said, another day another dollar; there are …

Stellarium on Ubuntu

It has been too long since I have sang the merits of Ubuntu. Meerkat is great. 10.10 LTS has been flawless for me, even since the beta, on both my notebooks and my Mini 9 netbook. Anyhow, I have had …

Google Apps Chat

I’m all about Google. It is no secret that Android gives me the warm and fuzzies; I suppose that is the root of my affection. As I sit here, looking at my quickly-dying BlackBerry Pearl, …

Bonus LED Action

Aftermath of my last Arduino session in my garage/workshop? Bonus LED action. It turns out my florescent lamp was pretty weak…the 7 O’Clock sun put it to shame, in the day-after mess of …

Arduino Solar Cell Input

Here we go. As I mentioned a few days ago, I’m horsing around with analog input to my Arduino, in the form of input via a solar cell. For the win. It turns out, that I’m getting far better …

Life Insurance Star

Time for my insurance rant of the week. Another rainy Saturday, another afternoon spent trolling for better insurance. This time: Life Insurance! I managed to find some pretty slick stuff at …

Solar Panel LED Set-up

New project under way… Solar Panel + LED at this point…soon to be solar panel » analog input Spoiler: it is going to be awesome Stay tuned for further details

Remote Desktop Musings

I am a fan of remote computer access. Huge fan, in fact. I use the crap out of it at work on our Windows XP boxes to access the Load and Performance boxes. I too fire upremote access software at home …

MS Paint Tips

Pomeranians are creepy. Mad MS Paint skillz. +1 small dog

Found: My Dream Robotics Project

+1 Android +1 Arduino +1 Voice Recognition I found this guy over at engadget…called truckbot, it packs the aforementioned awesome things I love. Truckbot is autonomous…the little sucker …

Insurance Overload

Here’s to the weekend. It is too nasty to sit outside, my lawn is mowed, the rivers are all blown-out (fish aren’t biting) still, the Cubs aren’t on for another two hours, and the …

Ringtone Mania

There is no hiding the fact that I’m a tech guy. With tech guy comes cell phone guy, and with cell phone guy comes cell phone accessories guy. Apps, schmapps…let’s kick it dirty …

Useless-bot

-1 boring -1 small head three and three-quarter stars

Insurance Info Revisited

Maybe it is because I turned 30. Maybe it is because I am predisposed to worry. Gout and worrying? Thanks, folks. Good looking out on the genes. I am sort of an insurance nut. Moreover, I am always …

32×32 Arduino Awesome-ness

I wish I had done this…unfortunately, I have my hands full with a handfull of LEDs. 1024 LEDs…give me a break. Osgeld (a man amongst boys) over at the arduino forums showed off his 32x32 …

Debt Settlement Info

Greetings and good afternoon. I thought I would go ahead and give my reader base a little info regarding Debt Settlement. Long story short, the bump provides you the info. Be debt free in 12-36 …

Weaponized Robot = Aggressive

I’m not one to be down-and-out-self-deprecating-bummed-out about things in general, but iRobot has just made my tri-colored LED progress look like peanuts. Tri-colored peanuts, but peanuts …

Business Card 2.0

Ramiro…I dig your style. Spanish telecom extraordinaire and all around hero Ramiro Pareja Veredas has the coolest business cards ever. Printed onto a card, with a male USB interface…if …

iPad Updates

Yesterday marked the official iPad release in the UK, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, and Switzerland. And our neighbors to the North, Canada. I’m trying to think of an insult to Canada, but all …

Woot FAIL

Once again, I almost got a bag-o-crap on yesterday’s woot-off. Got to this point… Entered my card security code….and nothing. I hate woot.

Awesome T-Shirt Time!

My little sister is pretty funny. Long story short, I bought a suit for my upcoming wedding. Elizabeth’s response was “You bought a black suit? Wow. You never have to shop for clothes …

Arduino Tri-Colored LED

Tri-Colored LED Arduino control. Check. I’m bringing sexy back. Sadly enough, it is basically a ground coupled with a Red, Green, and Blue lead. Nonetheless, I’m pumped.

Meeting Robot | I Need This

Best idea of the week…a robot to attend your meetings. From dailymail.co.uk Fed up with attending endless meetings when you’d much rather be at home? Step forward the QB from Anybots - a …

Shop Like Swantron

I’m either the best shopper or the worst shopper in the world. I love a deal as much as anybody, but I absolutely hate the process of mulling over purchases. Stores make me uneasy…the …

Super Robot

I left my Arduino at work. Poorly played. The next best thing, quite unfortunately, is to post another damned robot drawing. Green robots…there you go.

HTC Evo First Look

Is there such a thing as ‘phone envy?’ There should be. I am pretty sure I have an extreme case…maybe I could be the subject of some sort of case study. What has me this week? HTC Evo. Android 2.1 and …

100 Greatest Inventions Fail

Per Telegraph.co.uk A study of 4,000 consumers also placed the Apple smart phone - which has sold 42 million units since its launch in 2007 - ahead of the car, camera and flushing toilet. Way to go, …

Best News on the Interwebs

I spend a fair amount of time blathering on about technology and current events. I figured I should put together a post to divulge some of my sources. Think of this either as a master “works …

Wrigley Field /vs/ Cashman Field

Well, baseball season is in full swing. The Cubs have some high points and some low points, and are playing sub .500 ball at this point. Good starting pitching, shaky bullpen, sporadic hitting from …

New Robot

Well, the Cubs suck…green robots don’t. Bam.

How to Fix a Paper Cutter

I walked into my designated printer room at work today to find the paper cutter broken. What a tragedy, right? I have absolutely no idea why we need a paper cutter, let alone several paper cutters, at …

Awesome Robot

Could the green robot drawings be winding down? Hell to tha no! Suckaz! This guy, FTW!

Zenni Optical | Very Zen-Like

Consider this my official heads-up to the drivers in Southwestern Montana: I am practically blind behind the wheel. Especially right around dusk…something about the indirect light makes my eyes …

Ubuntu Naming History

I started thinking about my first Ubuntu experience…8.04, Hardy Heron. Good stuff. I got curious and looked up the previous version names…and found them fairly interesting. Warty Warthog …

Snowbot

Snow? In May? Give me a f*cking break, Mother Nature.

Arduino Button Implementation

LED. Check Breadboard. Check Bunch of wires. Check. C++. Check. What is that under my finger? A BAD ASSED BUTTON! I’m going to have this robot up and rolling in no time. Everyone knows that …

High 5: Top Online Degrees

You know what? I’m pretty pumped I graduated when I did. Compared to my little sister, who is currently in the university system in Idaho, I paid practically nothing for my undergraduate degree. …

F You Too, Toad

Remember this from…say…25 years ago? I first played Mario on a black and white TV in my neighbor’s basement…I shit you not. Black. And. White. Here it is in color… …

Maverick Meerkat

Hot on the heels of Lucid LTS, Shuttleworth has just announced the next Ubuntu drop will be 10.10, Maverick Meerkat. Check Mark Shuttleworth’s Blog for the press release-ish details. Long story …

Ubuntu 10.04 LTS

New Ubuntu is the best Ubuntu. You know what that means…Lucid Lynx is stable, and currently running on my primary machine. So far so good. Visually, Lynx is a bit more polished than Koala. Boot …

Arduino Robot

I’m not there yet, but let’s chalk this one up as a step towards the end goal…which would be the title of this post. A Damned Arduino Robot! Granted, this is basically just my hello …

Japanese Humanoid Moon Robot. Whoa.

I might have to move to Japan. First, they have that food thing down. Secondly, and more importantly, they are BUILDING A DAMN HUMANOID ROBOT TO GO TO AND RETURN FROM THE MOON BY 2015. That happens, …

How to Make Breakfast Burgers

Trying to spice things up around the breakfast table? Here is something new and interesting: breakfast burgers! Boy Howdy! Not only are these breakfast burgers nutricious and delicious, they are uber …

Choosing an ISP

How times change. I can remember a time in the not-so-distant past where AOL disks would show up in the mail on a daily basis. Flash forward less than a decade, and here we are with a bevy of internet …

Home Loan Modification Info

Times are tough. Tougher than stale beef jerky…and believe you me, homie, that is some tough stuff. Last year saw nearly 4 million foreclosure filings. December 2009 showed a 15 percent …

Best…Urinals…Ever.

Kate and I went to Billngs last weekend to grab the wedding dress. The Olive Garden was, in fact, breath-taking…after we were able to eat. As it happened, my sister, cousin Keri, Katie, and I …

Arduino Hello World

Hola Mundo! See that blue LED? Pretty hard to miss. That is essentially the Arduino version a ‘hello world’ program. In other words…I’m live, suckaz. For what it is worth, …

All About the Benjamins Baby

watcha wanna do wanna be a ballah shot calla balla who be dipppin in tha benz wit tha spoila on an off with tha… Uncle Sam just channeled Diddy. It’s all about the Benjamins, …

Gangster 101: LED Taillights

I can speak with some gusto here. Gangster 101: LED Taillights. Break that down…Gangster, 3 digit number, (coincidentally, binary…for the math win) electrical engineering, and …

Sinks are the New Tubs

I am an amateur plumber. Amateur plumber EXTRAORDINAIRE. Not really though…my last experience with plumbing involved thirty feet of plumber’s snake and a horribly corroded, angled, 60 …

HTC Incredible Pics

Q: Guess who is pretty dang pumped that he or she didn’t drop some loot on a Drod Eros last week? A: This guy. This guy right here. This guy, married to Verizon. This guy, handcuffed to Verizon …

Time is of the Essence. Indeed.

With my wedding day quickly approaching, so are my days of coming up with anniversary gifts…like it or not. While other days are more self-explanatory, (Valentine’s Day flowers, St. …

Einstein’s Desk

My pretend homeboy GW tossed up a post over at geekologie[dot]com with a pic of my favorite Albert’s desk when he croaked. Not too sure what that dark-looking whiteboard is all about. Or, what …

HTC HD2

While I’ve been caught up dealing with the epic battle between the Moto Droid and the RIM Storm 2, there have been some slick phones dropping. FWIW, Motorola whupped the beans out of the Storm, …

Get Swoll, Son

Takeru Kobayashi? Is that you? Tired of looking like that little hot dog eating champ dude? Okay…that is not Kobayashi. Regardless, if you feel like the colloquial 90lb weekling… Hit up …

+1 Nerd

My Arduino is in da houze! Arduino is an open-source electronics prototyping platform…and it is awesome. I went for the Arduino Duemilanove, packaged nicely with some LEDs, resisters, leads, …

Laser Tomfoolery Ends in Arrest

This CBS affiliate is reporting that the man arrested a mini-van owner for a little green laser hyjinx. Hyjinx? Hijinks? Hyjynx? Not sure, but tallk about some injustice… FTA: > On the …

Insurance Musings

From time to time I will gripe about my job. Especially when the coffee maker is down for the third consecutive week. Sad Panda. Regardless, we have a tremendous benefits package, with profit share …

Tax Time 2010

There has been said to be two assured things in life: death and taxes. I prefer to file my taxes with a cool beer. I challenge anybody to be more American than this…e-filing with a pounder of …

Moving Boxes are not Boring

Boxes are the essence of moving…and cardboard is the essence of boxes If you have a pending move on the horizon, you should most assuredly buy boxes from ABF U-Pack Moving…and not just …

Kicking Ass and Taking Names

Oh snaps…look who’s a MF-ing THOUSANDAIRE!!!! WHOOMP SHAKA LAKA SHAKA LAKA SHAKA LAKA SHAKA WHOOMP SHAKA LAKA SHAKA LAKA SHAKA LAKA SHAKA WHOOMP SHAKA LAKA SHAKA LAKA SHAKA LAKA SHAKA

Microsoft Hohm FTW!

I’d absolutely love to spend my time with all of my nerd accessories fired up and the thermostat cranked up to 80 degrees. Unfortunately, if I had both TVs, all 4 notebooks, the PS3 and Wii …

Cross-bot is Full of Angst

Cross-bot was totally like, “grr–that sux I’m all angry” and I said, like “dude, whatever, ur a green robot-dude w/ some claws or whatevs” just chillax cross-bot. …

Cubs Info

Just a friendly reminder, 26outs.com is still up and rolling. And Carlos Zambrano is less than good. Horrible, in fact…first outing was a dismal 4-fucking-outs-horrible. Quite unfortunately, …

Introducing…Pineberries

Have you ever wished that there existed a fruit that looked like a strawberry, only white, and tasted like a pineapple? Here you go, you sick weird-fruit-wanting-son-of-a-bitch. Per DailyMail: Seeing …

Worst. Joke. Ever.

Slashdot was bad, google is worse. Remember the whole Topeka changing its name to to Google thing… …see? It is like that, but only more asinine. Loads of laughter. …

unixkcd easter eggs

I had a creeping suspicion that the best xkcd of all time might be integrated into unixkcd…turns out I was on to something This made my day. Especially, since /. is utter garbage with all of …

Oblig unixkcd

Every nerd’s favourite webcomic was extra nerdy today, April Fool’s Day… (hit the pix link for full-sized) I need to view the source and figure out how Randall managed to emulate a …

Sunday Funday w/ D-Rock

Sunday Funday…hillbilly style: Trucking cow poo with D-Rock. Outcome: not-so shitty.

Nintendo to Rock Your World in 3D

Unfortunately, said world from the title is the world in the palm of your hands. Long story short, the DS is going to drop some sweet glasses-free 3D on yall suckaz. But don’t take my word from …

SpaceShipTwo

I’ve already gone on record saying that Richard Branson is my hero. In a ‘suck it, NASA’ move, Branson managed to take another step towards privatising space travel, by launching the …

ALL YOUR BASE

though not technically an original, this merges an established meme with an up-and-coming meme

Applied Robotics

Let me clear the air before this one. There are four things to know about me. In no particular order… I love humanoid robots. I love androids. I love drawing humanoid robots… and I love …

Improving Existing Products: A How-to

Improving Existing Products: A How-to Improving existing products is a snap! Start with a product. Here, I used this product, a dog poop receptacle. Pretty boring, huh? The first rule of thumb when …

Diamond iPad | Bling Fail.

And here I stand, thinking that Apple fanboiz were at the pinnacle of pretentiousness…turns out there is a far worse type of consumer: I think there is a joke to be made about polishing a turd, …

Fast Cash

Broke as a joke? If you need some cash in a pinch, you have several options: ~ Hit a payday advance joint (and get nailed w/ a generous fee) ~ Write a bad check (overdraft fee != good) ~ Cash advance …

Super Computer Setup

MAXXIMUM AWESOME! **DISCLAIMER** ^ Windows XP is not awesome, and the Mini 9 is neither networked, nor running anything aside from my media player.

Green Robots Attack

Green robots are the best robots. Like this gem I drew for Katie… I had to wipe out the technical specs from that document via a slick combination of MS Paint rectangle selects, MS Paint …

Van Diagram

I don’t like vans, because they look like toasters. I don’t like toasters, because they make bread sharp and stale. I don’t like Nissan Elements, because they look like toasters. I …

PS3 Move | PiiMote?

Sony has finally made a solid attempt to bridge the gap between the BluRay/Media Center/FPS beast that is the PS3 and the Wii’s uber-user-friendly-out-of-the-box gaming experience. Introducing …

Another Green Robot

I’m digging the green robots…might be my new thing. +1 Robot’s chest plate resembles a NES controller

Coffee + Car = Car-puccino

Hats off to the BBC, for airing an actual show about science. In the States, we have Mythbusters, wherein two odd-looking dipshits half-assedly postulate hypotheses and perform experiments, with no …

Video Calls per Chinese Person

One of the running jokes on the slashdot.org boards is an oldie but a goody. Apparently, nerds like to poke fun of mainstream media’s tendency to dumb-up storage sizes into terms of …

Uranium For Sale…Yes, Please

This one was courtesy of deals.woot…and puzzling as hell. I’m not sure what this product is, but the related searches are classic: and the comments are super-duper as well: Digging the …

Robots at Work

My work notes took on a mind of their own. The reason I made the robot green, is that I’ve never seen a green robot before.

Mc10:35

I’m on the fence with this one…the Mc10:35. To pull this one off, one needs to hit up McDuck’s @ around the time that the elusive breakfast to lunch goes down…hence the name …

Retarded Thing

3/2? From 10 to 12? Sorry. Can’t make it…I’m booked with a Retarded Thing. FWIW, Lotus Notes is also retarded.

lolkidz

Low blow, Billy. With chequered trousers, scarf, Italian boots, and a pink sweater to work with, Billy gets personal and attack the little ginger-kid’s hair. What a dick?

Fat Ninja Gear

Are you a fat ninja? Need a grappling hook? You could be the fattest ninja on the block and still grapple hook stuff. You could grapple up KFC and use your ninja stealth to steal a bucket of chicken, …

How To Make Boring Stuff Awesome

Tired of boring stuff? Make it awesome!#1. Boring old bagel. Notice the cavern? Hmm…what would make this awesome? #2…aw shit…Tabasco sauce in the house! #3…boom! Awesome. …

Every Man’s Dream: The Perfect Wedding Band

From the time he is a young boy, every man thinks about one thing and one thing alone: finding the perfect wedding band for his most special of days. Like this lovely fucker: Unfortunately, I’m …

Lost recap: the lighthouse

Keeping this one short… Without Sawyer and Locke, this episode was far from compelling. I’ll tear through the theory tomorrow and throw up a post. How goddamn weird looking was …

Great Idea of the Day: Cooler Chair

This stupid site is selling a very non-stupid item…the cooler chair. Of course, the cooler access would be rendered more and more useless the emptier it gets…then again…that is …

Layout Amazingness

This site and 26outs are both running SWIZ-1.0, my new WordPress Theme. Please hit me with any questions, suggestions, etc. My Twitter has changed, too… @swantron

Maui Cameras (and space science)

I grew up approximately 920 miles from the Pacific Ocean. The border between Low-Earth-Orbit and Mid-Earth-Orbit is right around 1240 miles. It is safe to say that I was closer to the ISS or MIR than …

Spray Paint Art

President’s Day is practically synonymous with one thing and one thing alone: spray paint. I knocked out this bad boy… 2ft x 3ft. Canvas w/ spray paint & acrylic. 100% awesome

Truck Gizmos

I’m sure a bunch of my reader base knows that I worked for several years in the lucrative field of landscaping. I did this after getting my math degree, which, logically, makes very little …

Joe Swanson? I beg to differ.

I have previously been asked (most often by the same dipshit girl at Wells Fargo) if I knew Joe Swanson, the cop. Nope. Great name, but I’ve never met the guy. That said, it still looks weird …

Day Off Rundown

Happy Presidents Day. I like Taft, because he was fat. Here is what I did, on my day off from banking software. Attacked our clogged kitchen sink dilemma, again. ~~Pretty glad I opted not to be a …

Gold! FTW!

What do Glenn Beck, Dennis Miller, and Dr. Laura and I all have in common? An opportunity to tell our followers about Goldline, that’s what. I bet Glenn’s going rate is significantly …

New Societal Low: Pajama Jeans

It could be argued that the Snuggie pretty much wiped out any credibility our nation had. Snuggie and Crocs, I suppose. Well, twist that knife handle, because somebody went ahead and invented Pajama …

Lost Countdown: Episode 2

Here we go… I re-watched the last half (non Kate B.S. portion) of episode 2 today on the elliptical…here go the musings. ~ The date on Claire’s Ethan produced ultrasound is a month …

Office Puzzle: Which Item is of Least Use?

I’m pretty sure the printer room in a software company is where obscure office shit goes to die. There are always random dried-out hi-lite markers, cap-less ballpoints, and roughly seventy …

PS3 To Support 3D

Who doesn’t like 3D? This ol’ gal certainly does. Or did. I don’t get the last joke, but Engadget reported the following: Get your active shutter glasses ready: your PS3 is going to …

Technological Breakthrough, Ketchup Style

The best thing to happen to ketchup since the upside-down bottle thing: For maximum high fructose corn syrup intake, you can dip shit in this thing or go old-school and squeeze this shit on other …

DC Storm Footage

Upon hearing preliminary reports that DC is about to get precisely 1 assload of snow, swantron.com has managed to deploy a field agent robot reporter to the scene. How are things looking, REPORTRON? …

Sunglasses Roundup

Wikipedia states (horribly) : “Sunglasses can be worn to hide one’s eyes: They can make eye contact impossible, which can be intimidating to those not wearing sunglasses; the avoided eye …

Lost… Final Season Roundup: Episode 1…Round 2

I’ve had time to digest E1. As much time as it takes to decipher nonsense, but time none-the-less Musings / Observations: ~ No sign of my favourite Tail-y and Lost-y in general, Mr. Eko. Mista …

Lost… Final Season Roundup: Episode 1

Can’t focus after that crap…look at the half-assed shitty work with The Gimp Where the fuck was Mr. Eko? I’ll post more when I can wrap my head around that freaky episode.

Landscaper /vs/ Toddler

July 10, 2006: My hombre Voy provides some landscaper lunch comic relief by crawling into a little van thing at the mall. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ February …

Seaplane FTW

I think Richard Branson is awesome. He basically does whatever he wants. Like inventing seaplanes. FTA: *Billionaire Sir Richard Branson may already own an airline, a record label, a mobile phone …

Amazon Recommendation Weirdness

Well, it turns out Amazon determined that I’m a bad motherfucker. Typically Amazon tells me about HDMI cables, puzzle books, holsters, shell-toes, netbooks, etc. Now, apparently, they think I …

Calling All XBoxers…

I’ve let it be known that I am a Wii dude. A Wii-tard, if you will. With my recent PS3 purchase, I have, for the first time, a real ’live’ gaming unit. This has set me on a search, …

Worlds Colliding: Considering Mini 9 Hackintosh

It almost seems like a crime to own the most hackintosh-able netbook w/o hackintoshing the sumbitch. Ideal chipset…ideal ease of solid state HD and RAM upgrade. The only downside is my Linux …

iPad: iThe iDeal iB-iB-iBreaker

The iPad doesn’t multi-task The iPad is less powerful than my Mini 9 The iPad is twice as expensive as my Mini 9 The iPad still requires tethering sans WiFi The iPad is Flash-free The …

IPad. Really?

The aforementioned ’next big thang’ from Apple is called the iPad. Really. Jobs is still blathering about it at the press release, but the peremptory word is that the thing is a hybrid …

Apple Buzz: iSlate

I’m not open source enough to be close minded about Apple products. They make some amazing shit. I’d drop my BlackBerry in a shake if the iPhone was out on Verizon. In a shake. The nets …

Ubuntu + Microsoft = BFFs

Ubuntu’s maker, Canonical, has announced that Lucid Lynx will drop with Yahoo Search as the default for Firefox. Since Yahoo is powered by Bing, M$ is effectively in bed with a fricking Linux …

Free Cheese Poster…Get ’em While ‘e’re Hot

Like posters? Cheese? Free junk? Hells yeah, me too. Eat Wisconsin Cheese via deals.woot.com is offering an awesome free poster with the following hype: *“Do you love cheese but you’re not …

PS3 Review: First Person Shooters

Round two of the PS3 piece-meal review: First Person Shooters After horsing around with the PS3 for a few weeks, I think I can finally pen a review of the ‘game’ portion of the damn thing. …

Things I Hate: Toasters

I hate toasters. Why this ill-conceived piece of shit has become a staple in the American kitchen and/or kitchenette is beyond me. Toasters render bread sharp and dangerous to the mouth. Tosters …

The Gout, The Old Painting

Well, since I’m on day fucking six of my gout attack, I figure I should post a painting I came across during my allopurinol research. A mediocre painter named James Gillray made this sucker in …

Avatards

The worst doctor in the world has concluded that a Taiwanese man with a history of high blood pressure has died of a stroke likely triggered by over-excitement from watching the blockbuster Avatar in …

O-Scope

Not sure how many physicists troll around craigslist, but if they do… Hands down, the best description on a craigslist item EVER FWIW, An oscilloscope measures two things: voltage and time. A …

Interesting Thing of the Day: Green Police

Attention all New Yorkers with late-model hatchbacks… Watch out for the Green Police! I just read about these guys…pretty interesting. New York City has twenty officers collectively …

Domain Name Change

Testing the new uploads…I have made the 100% switch from bouncerblog…images might be jacked up, but the indexing appears to be working. webmastering ftw

Bored?

Bored? Well, you could sit around with your bowl haircut and feel sorry for yourself… …or alternatively, you could do something awesome. Mac user? You guys have it made. My favorite …

Breakfast Fail.

Things got a little out of hand this morning. I managed to hot-snauce the shit out of my “plate” while trying to hot-snauce the shit out of my tortilla chips. Still delicious.

Netflix on Wii

Well, Netflix streaming is finally coming to the Wii. In one fell swoop, there goes one of my two reasons for getting a PS3. Live streaming will hit Nintendo’s console this spring, according to …

Weekly Drawing: Tony Chachere’s

Kate thinks this is my best hot snauce person drawing to date… …tough to argue that. Tony Chachere’s is no Cholula, for what it’s worth.

Mastering MS Paint: A How-To

Mastering MS Paint is not as difficult as one may think. In fact, with a little practice you too can become a champion MS Paint-er. For maximum awesomeness, I employ a simple three-step approach: Find …

2010 Tech Wishlist…the ‘what if’ edition

So, I didn’t win the Montana Millionaire grand prize, $100,000 prize, $10,000 prize, or even the consolation slap-in-the-face-fifty-dollar-instant-win prize. Really had my hopes up for that guy. …

Technical Details…

Thanks to a loophole, AdSense is back in the mix…feel free to click on some crap.

More McDonald’s McViolence

When will this burger-violence end? I hope no time soon…these idiots are hillarious! Toledo : McNugget freak-out :: Kansas City : Hamburger freakout KCTV has an exclusive video of an unknown …

PS3 Slim Hands-On: Browser

Instead of doing one gigantic review, I’m going to tackle a review of my new nerd toy piecemeal…up first: the browser. The good: :) Setup was effortless. No issues getting my wireless …

Military Laser Weapon (100% awesome)

I love lasers. I love weapons. I REALLY LOVE LASER WEAPONS! U.S. Military…FTW! The latest addition to the arsenal is that bad boy pictured above. Optimus Prime laser, it is not. It is more …

McIdiot??? McFelon???

I feel like punching out some windows at McDonalds, because the food is utter garbage…check out this McBizarreness From the Smoking Gun: JANUARY 4–Meet Melodi Dushane. Angered that …

2010 Tech Roundup

That’s right…we are starting out 2010 with a little tech roundup. Roll Call PS3 Wii Dell Studio 15, running Ubuntu Karmic Koala Dell Mini 9, running Ubuntu Karmic Koala Netbook Remix …

Movies: an Analysis

***Note**** The probability of me enjoying any given movie is inversely proportional to the existance of “P.S.” in said movie’s title.

Surfer Trekkie Gear

Toes to the nose…of the USS Enterprise holo-deck. Do you like surfing? Star Trek? This is your product, champ: Let me say off the bat that the only thing I know about surfing comes from …

Stop. Hammer-Time!

Time, again for another Family Circus farse. I hate these little bastards. Especially Jeffy.

Russia to Send Spacecraft to Asteroid?

In a move that sounds a whole lot like the plot of Armageddon, Russia’s space chief has announced his agency will consider sending a spacecraft to a large asteroid to knock it off its path in …

Parked Domain Switcheroo

nothing to see here…testing to see if my archives are switched from bouncerblog to swantron

2009: A Breakfast Odyssey

Mankind’s quest for the perfect breakfast is the theme of “2009: A Breakfast Odyssey”, a process that unfolds along a space-time continuum. We “pepper-sauce” our …

An open letter to Nabisco

To whom it may concern at Nabisco, I love your Triscuit wheat crackers. I am, however, confused by the spelling of “Triscuit.” Is this some sort of play on words with …

Brittany Murphy Overdose

Best known for playing the “I’ll never tell” girl, and the chick who humped Eminem in the factory during 8-mile, former Clueless star Brittany Murphy has died. Oh nos! Drug …

Avatar in a Nutshell

Are you… Too cheap to shell out $ for a theatre seat? The resident of a 3-D theatre-less town? (Bozeman) Sure James Cameron can’t top Titanic…don’t care? Here you …

How to make the perfect lunch

Step 1: Tony Chachere’s the shit out of some Wheat Thins Step 2: Costco pickle jar the shit out of some water

The Pizza Proof

i <3 za! nom nom nom The problem at hand is essentially this: “Suppose the harried waiter cuts the pizza off-centre, but with all the edge-to-edge cuts crossing at a single point, and with …

The Perfect Buffalo Burger

If there is one thing I like more than animated GIFs, it is buffalo burger. And I love me some animated Gifs…following that line of reasoning, I really love me some buffalo burger. How about …

How to make the perfect breakfast

This is how I roll… Step 1: Cholula the shit out of some Wheat Thins Step 2: Costco pickle jar the shit out of some water (RockStar optional)

Mail Fail.

I hate my mailman. Mail Fail…Epic Mail Fail.

From Inept RA to Inept Sex Offender

I fired up the Bozeman Daily Chronicle today to find a treat. As luck would have it, my corpulent former RA from the dorms is in some hot water. Good stuff… From the Cronicle: A Belgrade man …

Not a UFO…just a little SLBM

Unfortunately the swirly light thing over Norway wasn’t a visitor from outer-space. You crazy-ass Scientologists will have to wait for Xenu…turns out the spiral was just a little Ruskie …

Unidentified Swirly Thing Over Norway

I’m going to side with the realists and say that this is likely due to a rocket, (exhaust, or out-gassing payload) and not a UFO… …but just in case, swantron.com welcomes our …

Wrestlemaniac?

Got any Hulkamaniacs on your X-Mas list? For a mere $5, you will have him/her more pumped up than Big John Stud after winning the $15,000 body slam match against Andre the Giant in Wrestlemania 1. …

Storm 2 /vs/ Droid

I’ve been a BlackBerry fanboi for quite a while. With my Pearl nearing the end of it’s life…the question becomes Sexxy Storm… Or Dirty Droid I originally assumed it would be …

Rad Board 3500

Got a fan? An antiquated pointy skateboard? An afternoon? Neon spray paint. 1) pull apart the fan case…a dangerous Rad Board is a good Rad Board 2) replace fan blades with small, sharp, …

So long, AdSense

Adsense booted me for too many clicks per page… So long. I’ll take my fracking business to Amazon…might even do some blog-vertising…who knows?

Ubuntu 9.10 Review…Coming Soon

I have been putting this off for a while…just a while longer, I swear. I plan to give Ubuntu 9.10 a review. Should be groundbreaking. Who knows? Might end up in a sweet tab up there ^ next to …

Hot or Not #9

… Don’t call it a comeback. ~L.L. Cool J. Back by popular demand…Hot or Not!

26outs

All sorts of crazy changes… In conjunction with the switch from bouncerblog.com to swantron.com, I have launched a new site… 26outs.com. 26outs is a joint venture with my BFF-skee Zig. …

End of an Era

R.I.P. bouncerblog.com has had a good run. engineer …

~~sigh~~

I guess the worth is reported in US $, which is not what it once was. Wonder how many Yen that would be?

Oh Nosos! 2009 AMA Mishap

While Jenny from the Block was busy falling down and looking like an idiot… …I think Kelly Clarkson just ate American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert

Behold! Tradition in the Making!

This year marks the 109th meeting of the MSU Bobcats and the Montana Grizzlies football squads… the good ol’ Brawl of the Wild. Cat/Griz is always a big deal around Bozeman, and, dare I …

Craigslist Foreplay?

Alright…this one is sort of confusing. From what I can gather, Duncan Gilchrist’s daughter is using craigslist to fondly rib Bruce, who apparently has a history of writing bad checks. …

Christmas Wishlist

With Christmas right around the corner, I’d like to put my preliminary wish-list out there. These Videos 2) A Robot VCR (if robot does not support VHS I/O)

Haloween Loldog

Jim dressed his (male) dog up for some laughs…I lulz-ed him up. Happy Haloween.

Nice Try, Dipshit

In celebration of the release of Windows 7, (do not want) enjoy the following Bozeman craigslist entry… Where do I begin? Window NT came out in 1993??? $200 buys a 160gb netbook??? “If …

More Fine-ass Art for Kate

Subject: The Queen of Soul Food, Sylvia Outcome: not-so-lady-like Sylvia looks a lot like George Washington.

Congratulations, Croc Wearers…

…it is now possible for someone to retard-up their feet even more effectively than via the wearing of Crocs…introducing… Dinos? Velocs? Velococrapters? I don’t know.

OML, an interpretation

I like sending Katie pictures of random drawings from work. Like this gem. compared to the original… I win. I always do.

Great Scott!

I don’t think Batman says that…I’m thinking that Great Scott is more of a Doc from Back to the Future thing. Who cares? Not I…regardless, this is one sweet ‘do/display …

I Don’t Love Your Nuts

Just got a Graty… Pros: half-graty-ed cheese clumps are fun to eat Cons: doesn’t fucking work

First Thought…

How can this guy be so smug? He looks like somebody stuck some shades on a toad and smashed it into a polo.

Retraction…Not So Happy Wed.

working late…maybe very late…I’m digging in with a half pack of Spirits and two diet RockStars…have mercy

Gout Files: 9/16

Kate and I went to all-you-can-eat-crab night at Looies last night…I’m 90% sure I overdid it. Not only from the standpoint of what is and is not socially acceptable to consume in a public …

Reptile Files: 9/16

This snake was discovered in China. It has a leg, which is just great.

Taxation with Representation

This is pretty awesome… …playing a little solitaire…listening to a little drivel. All in all, pretty good day at work. With Obama’s popularity down to 45% and this shit …

Dominick Dunne, Deceased

Dominick Dunne passed away today. He was the host of an obscure show that often followed Forensic Files. He will be sorely missed by some, I imagine. I will miss his funny glasses.

Microsoft Faux Pas

This is pretty ridiculous…and funny. Apparently the Polish hate black people. Microsoft posted this on the English site… …and this bad boy on their Polish site: They must not have …

Stereotype…Strengthened!

Our horribly inept mailman (same guy who crammed my RAM upgrade under our doormat) mistook Grand Ave for 3rd. Ave and dropped off a copy of a video game magazine in our mailbox. For what it is worth, …

I’m Not Mad, I’m Just Disapointed.

This tattoo is in memory of the tattoo-ee’s deceased grandmother. Just a hunch, but I would guess that she would not approve of either tattoos or video games, let alone video game/memorial …

President Obaman

President Obama (note the lack of “n”) is speaking in Bozeman tonight. Craigslist is full of people looking to buy tickets, much like this fucking retard…

Really? Really???

Yet in an interview with the Detroit News Monday, Senator Debbie Stabenow (D., Mich.) - recently appointed to the Senate Energy Committee - made clear that fighting the climate crisis is her top …

Gross.

eeeeeewwwwwww

Excellent Sword

Thine own grand-mum purchased said sword for thee from thy “Home Shopping Channel” Not for purvey: floral woven floor-tapestry

Coming Soon…

I purchased the domain name…right now it is parked, and pointing here. This might be fun.

Search Term Fun 7/13

I finally was able to log into our cpanel and check the traffic stats…from May, we had the following: Four people searched for “penis hamburger”…and came here? Yessssss!

Bobby V?

I thought this one was sort of funny…sort of random how the add lines up perfectly. and yes…the song is bunk, not crunk

GOAT’S DOE’S

HELLO I HAVE SUM GOAT’S DOE’S 4 U BUDDY NOT BABY’S AND NOT NUBAINS" THOW.

MJ’s Funeral Guest List Surprise

I found this on the Drudge Report….pretty amazing list List of guests invited to public memorial service for Michael Jackson at the Staples Center in Los Angeles: Larry King Dionne Warwick …

xkcd

Kate and I are off to the Madison to do a little camping. Have a good weekend…

MJ2

RIP MJ

Rest in peace, you crazy fuck

FYI

City of Bozeman

kudos to our city council…might make national headlines again with this epic fail sweet!

Comaro?

Note to little mullet-heads…it is spelled cAmaro. And it ain’t shit unless it has T-Tops and plenty of Zep tapes

Some Peaple are Retarded

I’m not going to get into his lack of punctuation, capitolization, or word usage. “Fore”…Really?

The Cholula Incident

After seeing some terrible craigslist entries over the past few months, I decided to do a little experiment. Observe: So I assumed this would get flagged as a joke…not the case. Thus far, I …

I’ll Take It

This chair, however nice, was posted in Craigslist “free stuff” section… I think it may be overpriced at $0

Mop Bucket

Times tough? Recession hurting the ol’ pocketbook? Simple solution: sell shit from work! …I wonder how much I could get for my pen caddy?

New IM Weapon

I made this to make developers feel bad.

Lolpost

My first Lolcat, a la MS Paint and Google Images: And the application for ^ Lolcat

joe and kate

guess who is studying for his/her cpa ethics exam, and who is fucking around with his/her webcam

Extra Dirty Legion

Long story short…Boodles exploded. Archaic gas lines caught fire sans shut-off valve. It was one hell of a run.

The Big Lebowski

For those readers unfamiliar with The Big Lebowski…watch the movie. Those familiar with the film know this is pretty funny. I found this comment in a billingsgazette.com editorial. Jesus and …

Seyonara Seven

As it happens, even with a memory upgrade Windows 7 is still a dog on my old Dell. Solution…more Ubuntu Looking forward to open source imaging…I still haven’t swiped Photoshop for …

Giraffe Van

Charles made a nice find… …A giraffe van. WTF? On par with the wizard truck.

Windows Woes

Install failed…not enough RAM Waiting for a delivery…update coming later this week.

DDR/New Year

Katie, Nichole, Ken Coop, B.O.B., and I had a little DDR party to bring in the new year. We pretty much rule… Especially Nichole (see you on Facebook, kid) FYI…Bob is terrific at DDR. He …

Windows 7

So Windows 7 leaked a few days ago…why not? Between Kate and I, we have four Dell laptops in the house: I figure it would round things out to convert my old 9300 to Windows 7. Grif is always …

Charles Shamamma, Artist

Charles enjoys three things: welding, breaking tools, and dinosaurs. Combine the three and you get this: C-Rex. Appearing soon on creigslist. rrawr Well done. I give you 4 emoticons :D :D :D :D

Tis the Season

I wonder if Katie checks out bouncerblog.com… I bet I find out soon

Zoot Month 1

I get tired of looking at my dual 20-inchers (note the excessive number of unix windows) I imagine my dual 20-inchers tire of me too :( ***edit…emoticons work on wordpress but my fucking links …

My Mom is Crazy

I’ll let you decide. Here is my mom (right) holding a quilt, next to a neighborhood child wearing a quilt, her Halloween costume. No shit. I know the King of Pop named his child …

New Hero

David Thorne…pure genius. Click on the link, please. Spider PaymentRead through it; hands down the funniest internet thing I have seen in some time.

AGGGGGGGH!

You are getting fatter, retard.

Zoot, Day 2

I just wrapped up day two as a quality assurance analyst at Zoot Enterprises. The best thing about the job so far… …sweet chew holder. Big Rod suggested that I lighten my hi-liter lode …

Mao

LMAO + Chairman Mao = LMAO….wait….

Comics are Still Horrible

Hey Marvin…what do you have in store this week? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ha! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! The TV is in …

Bob

I don’t even know what to say about that.

More Shitty Comics

Cathy is retarded. So…girls feet grow in Fall? I’m lost.

Comics are Horrible III

Here is one called Pajama Diaries TFL…didn’t read it. I would wager that it is absolutely horrible though.

Comics are Horrible II

Not sure what this one is all about. I especially like how it takes two idiots to pump out this horrible comic. Poor illustration (lady on the left…what the fuck is with that pose?), poorer …

Comics are Horrible

Here you go…new category. Comics are Horrible. Let’s begin with perhaps the worst, Family Circus… Really, Billy? You little smart ass. Also, look at the Lance Armstrong calves on …

Best Thread Ever

A nice compliment to the Best URL Ever… Photoshop ThreadThanks, internet community.

Phelps Minute

I don’t care for the Olympics. Swimming is metaphorical…one gold metal.

Swanny?

Is…that…me… [Flash video - no longer available] See more [funny videos](http://www.collegehumor.com/videos) and [funny pictures](http://www.collegehumor.com/pictures) at …

Amazing URL

Here you go. Check out the name of this site. I think I would too.

Wrigley Rules

One fair summer afternoon, Zig, I, and several cotton ball-bearded dudes took in a game in these very seats. Sweet chug.

Appliance Repair NYC

Here is a little plug for Appliance repair NYC. Hit the bump for some details. I snagged this snippet v Appliance Repair NYC provider published this helpful tips. A common stove problem is infinite …

Who’s That Guy

Seriously…who is that guy in this picture? Nice hand placement, Sarge.

Sith Lord

I think it is safe to assume that Darth Vader would air choke this dipshit…

Meet Brian

As Bob can apparently attest, Gay Brian is one motorboating son-of-a-bitch. (Best Bob face ever)

Greetings from the ER

J.C. snapped a pic from the ER during the Great Bozeman Beach Incident of ‘08 aftermath… I think it would make for a good Christmas Card.

Six Minute Abs…

No…seven! Seven Minute Abs! You cannot even break a sweat in six minutes! I share a love/hate relationship with WalMart…loved it on this day.

The Bachelor

Kevin rules. Just watch this one…maybe the best faux-to of all time.

Mombrero

Mom + Sombrero = Mombrero

Guitar Hero Hero

While checking out Wii titles at WalMart today, I stumbled across an older gentleman rocking out to Guitar Hero in the aisle. Funny enough. Our Guitar Hero hero finished his song (Styx?) and gave the …

Catmobile

Wow. Julie managed to snap these pictures outside of a seedy motel in Glasgow. Incredible.

Sex and the City

I thought that Perez’s observation was quite astute. Take that Cody, Katie, and Bob. I do like the Golden Girls though…let’s all hope the old one isn’t dead.

Carlton

I wonder if any copies of this still exist...I want to learn the King Tut

Ghost Ride the Whip

Here is a pretty sweet video of KO’s Club manager Dubbz ghost riding a Geo Oddly enough, the picture included in the above linked wikipedia page is of the same car. Bizarre.

Popezilla!

New this week on bustedtees.com: Benedict does rock a retarded miter, which is slightly more retarded than this spicy red number… I cannot tell you whether or not that was the shirt’s …

Live Taser Action

I know a guy with a taser, and now too a guy with two taser probe wounds.

Hamburger Penis

Watch until the end… I just about choked on my Clamato

Filth and Foul

Oddly enough, the Bozeman Daily Chronicle sat down with my buddy Nick and wrote a good article about his new album. Check out the article here. Good work Nickel.

Not my Concern

From the Onion…I almost missed it. After dealing with Prior’s arm issues in Chicago for several years, it finally laughable. <span style="font-family : Courier;color: …

Coding Rap

Oddly enough I found this before Digg...

Search Term Time!

<span style="font-family : Courier;color: #F88017;">bouncer blog 19.2 %bouncerblog 2.7 %bouncers blog 1.8 %sexyphots 1.8 %dudes get it on 1.8 %bozeman montana 1.8 %www.matureolder …

Gross, Fellas

DJ/Bouncer Ethan with the butt-floss B.O.B. with the dirty shroud of Turin Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Clothes of 2000

If my memory serves correct, this was spot on. Swish!

?

You tell me.

Baseball Season

[![Kenny Lofton Thinks Hes Putting Finishing Touches On Hall Of Fame …

St. Pat’s

The luck o’ the Irish struck to the tune of $350 for Bouncer Bob French named guy from deep in the loins of St. Louis’ Italian Hill…go figure. Erin Go Brach.

Mitch!

One of my favorite dudes of all time showed up to the Dirty Dirty Legion on Saturday… Mikey from Seattle via Bozeman via Broadview, Montucky. I pulled this pic from his site, …

Chips and Salsa

Look for the move at the two minute mark Delicious Snacks Distract Congressmen From Horrors Of War

MMM ’08 5

Bob with his perennial Larry Bird Looking good, big guy.

MMM ’08 4

March Mustache Madness…still rolling strong Chase with a Leroy BirdLooking good hombre…A-Ram is still holding the top spot, however

MMM ’08 3

I think we have a winner… A-Ram with a commendable gun-slinger Excellent work, my friend. That is a man-stache. March Man-Stache Madness?

MMM ’08 2

Weekend wrap-up time…the A-Team Big D with the cop-ish-goatee Photoshopped view of Pervy Ken Gross, Ken. Still to come: Picture of Chaser’s eighth grade stache, A-ram with his St. …

Mexico #2

Slowly but surely getting some pics put together…enjoy this one in the mean time. Dad and Julie enjoying the swim-up bar

Mexico #1

My sisters and I are still trying to figure out if we have any real photo documentation of our trip…here is a good one of Elizabeth in the meantime. I know it doesn’t fit the page layout, …

Andorra

Nation Of Andorra Not In Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports

Joe Sombrero

Adios amigos. I am off to write the script for National Lampoon’s Mexican Vacation… B.O.B. is holding down the bar; Katie is holding down the DDR pads.

MMM ’08

March Mustache Madness is right around the corner… The rules of MMM remain unchanged from last year: Shave in the mustache of your choice on March 1st Keep said mustache for as long as possible …

Zany Bob

zizzzzz! Suz, B.O.B., and Lil Steve from Friday night…have a good time in Italy, Suz

Chewbacca

This is better than the footage of Darrell getting tased, bro. [Flash video - no longer available]Pay close attention to the dialog…apparently Chewbacca is Chewbacca in Spanish.

Little People, Big World

I love these guys Here is the program description for tonight’s show: New, “A Little surgery; Marty Comes to Town”. (2007). Grandpa Ron and Grandma Peg join the family in Oakland for …

Irony Defined

The Swantron family is headed to sunny Mexico for our first family get-together in a decade here in two weeks. In preparation for my trip, I decided to pick up a fresh new pair of Adidas Shell-toes. …

B.O.B. Shooting, Revisited

1) Dennis Francis Buckley and Sgt. Tim love to point out how large Bob’s head is. 2) It turns out that I am much more apt to fuck around with my computer as I avoid reading my physics.

Fun with Guns!

Sarge, B.O.B., three pistols, a shotgun, an SKS, and I spent the afternoon enjoying nature and blasting the shit out of stuff. Television disposal service?

Lost Chug Footage

I may or may not have taken a video of my new light switch in my bathroom. I did. Upon showing Sgt. Tim, I came across this video from August…I decided to post it to get ‘08 started …

Excuse Me, Link

Apparently Nintendo leased the cartoon rights to the Zelda franchise in the late 90’s. It looks to me like they leased the rights to the Full House production crew. …

Tim in TX

Dustin a.k.a. Sgt. Tim is in Texas. He sends his regards.

594C3 C4M9

I think that my B+ in experimental physics fully warrants a revisiting of *Space Camp.* Enjoy.

The Mitchell Report

Give this clip about thirty seconds… [Flash video - no longer available]…I always suspected “All the Way” May was yoked up.

Christmas Party Season `07

Gone are the days of the space bag, but Christmas parties for me still involve funny servings of wine. Yep, I drank that.

Red Bull and Mathematica

I am full of Red Bull and waiting for my bootlegged copy of Mathematica to finish downloading. Hey, cool. I stumbled upon this on The Onion, so I figured I would give the new version of WordPress a …

The Final Countdown

I challenge you to tell me the most ridiculous aspect of this clip. There is a lot of shit going down on set…horrible over-singing, aggressive unnecessary title, dual keyboard action, puzzling …

A Haiku

While Katie is in Las Vegas preparing for Suzie and Josh’s wedding, I have the honor of caring for her beta, LaMonte. For what it is worth, I call him Ken and he doesn’t seem to mind. His …

More Onion News

Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On

lolcat lab

Familiarize yourself with the lolcat. Or don’t. Either way, this is really funny in a really really nerdy way.

The Zig Lebowski

Clever post title…good work, self. So Ziggy had a great time in a great costume on Halloween. From all reports, Whitefish was the place to be a few weeks ago. The Dude, Walter, and The Jesus …

November Update

It has been a while since I have posted anything with any real content. In short, everybody I know and I are all a bunch of retards. Or nerds Grif made it back from Argentina. He is pissed; his XBox …

Sexxxy BBQ

I don’t know if I am hungry or turned on. Both.

Crank Dat Chubby Boy

The Cubs cannot seem to pull their heads out of their asses this post season, so I have nothing good to post on that note. The collection of tubes called the internet is still full of good junk …

Tampa Bay Rays

Wow. I am not sure if Jesus or Jeb Bush is behind this, but it looks as if the Tampa Bay Devil Rays are no longer as of the 2008 season. Say hello to the Tampa Bay Rays! Lovely home uniforns Lovely …

Midget Mac

Watch out K-Fed…I may have a new idol… I cannot say that I watch I Love New York, but I might start if this lil’ dude gets on. Midget Muthafuckin Mac in the building, …

Altercation with an Ene

I am not often confused with a Sureno, but apparently I was last night. Nothing like fighting your way into a gang in a basement bar… Fortunately, I rolled into the only Norteño unable to …

Ninja Kick! Ninja Chop!

The McCone Co. Slammer back in action! I can say that I have been at the Crystal after close. I cannot say that I have ever attempted to Ninja Kick! air in the Crystal after close, or upon doing so …

All-Star Karaoke

So, the Dirty L has karaoke every Wednesday night, and it is goddamn horrible. Observe This shit-head tries to swoon the ladies with his rendition of “Pony” by Ginuine. Normally I would …

Astronaut Jones

Hands down, Astronaut Jones is my favorite SNL skit. Enjoy.

Bathroom Antics

Dirty Legion…ladies room…B.O.B. Steve Knevel and I Good stuff. I guess I missed the memo… B.O.B. is rocking a sweet goatee while Steve is ‘stached up.

Red Bull Shotgun

EZ Eve and I horsing around at work. I have stepped my game up a bit, and now shotgun the damn things. Not quite sure what the Waldo comment is all about.

Buzz Kill

We took a Jefferson River float trip last weekend…we being Voy, Menke, Hennesy, Nate, Paps, and I. The day was overcast and we were drinking perhaps the worst Gatorade vodka concoctions ever …

Elephantitis

I suppose I was wrong…B.O.B. is that bald and gigantically headed.

Hmmm…

I love KFC!!! Yay!!! I love stuffed animals!!! Yay! I love flip flops and socks!!! Yay!

Pose-Off

Zoolander vs Hansel Work shots…use your imagination as to where. My money is on Freemo. Looking mean.

Lost and Found

No se. U.S. Department of Lost and Found: Umbrellas and SweatersLo amo.

Bathroom Revisited II

My future Mexican roommate, Sgt. Tim, and I in the ladies room. “I’ll hold the hand towel; you take the photo.” Happy Thursday fans.

B.O.B.

Quick story…My East Main Man Josh told this fine piece of woman that B.O.B. was William Dafoe. It turns out that B.O.B. did not act in Platoon, but he did act pretty damn well in this clip of …

Big Jer on the Mike

Hastings has a policy wherein a patron can sing karaoke to absolve one’s late rental fees. As Bouncer Josh would have you know, if your husky roommate gets late fees on your account, your husky …

Daft Punk Hand Thing

Harder Better Faster Stronger I am not sure why someone would get into this sort of thing, but it is one of the most interesting videos I have seen in a while.

Cubs in ’07

The Cubs may not be very good at playing baseball, but goddamn it they are scrappy. The best deal of all is the near no-hitter that Big Z nearly threw. Final score, Pads 1, Cubs 0. Good.

Food Court…Again

In for the kill! This is perhaps the best. Our resident kiosk tender throwing out some vibe at MYO. Watch out Foot Locker dude…JLo is on the prowl. Many thanks to Biddy for the pic. Instant …

Bathroom Revisited

It has been far too long since we have had a Dirty Legion bouncer pic. Same bat bathroom; same bat time. B.O.B., Swanzilla, and (nickname to ensue…) Josh in the studio. Bob would like to state …

Paris Hilton Fan

The tragedy!!! [Flash video - no longer available] Paris Hilton Super Fan Loses ItNoooooo

Photosynth Vid

This is pretty incredible. I can only imagine how large Grif’s monitor would be if he got into photosynth software.

Flight of the Conchords

Here is a clip of a new HBO series, Flight of the Conchords. I saw this episode in full on their site, and just found a link to a embed-able clip. Enjoy. [Flash video - no longer available] Prettiest …

Weekend Video #2

Round two. Meat burger balls courtesy of Papich. On bread.

Memorial Weekend

Here we go…#1 of several super random videos from the weekend. DNA? Nice mohawk Voy.

Monday Morning

Voy, (Boyd Freemo) Charles, (Chizzlah) and I attempted to plant some trees this rainy morning. Two of these were thirteen-foot spruce trees, with root balls the size of VW buses. “That tree is …

Comments Welcome

“Kyle is far too lazy to update our fans with his goings on, and enjoys rss feeds of j-swizzle shirtless in skidsteers”

More Onion News

There is a fine line between subtle humor and being British. I love theonion.com more than traffic lights. Newman Honored For Achievements in Salad DressingAmongst the other gems in this week’s …

Which is Worse?

Is it worse that I have Kevin Federline’s debut album “Playing with Fire”, or that I am upset that my Kevin Federline album is scratched?

Hail Caesar!

Recorded out of my back door...no damage to my SS luckily. Happy Mother's Day.

Alma Mater

I was a football star at the junior varsity level. Not really. My flat feet and asthma, in conjunction with a late puberty kept me well removed from a glorious high school football career. I did, …

Helicopter Antics

Hmmm…weird. Watch the landing. I have to think about this for a while.

bouncerblog.com /vs/ 38pitches.com

Curt Shilling had some harsh words towards soon-to-be home run champ Barry Bonds recently. Whatever Curt. My blog beats the hell out of your blog, amigo. Also, look at Bonds’ stats. He is pretty …

Atmospheric Waves

This is a remarkable clip of some gravity waves, likely caused by a mountain range induced inversion. Enjoy.

One More

I too am tiring of these vids…here is one more. Content is content. Have a safe and happy Cinco De Mayo, todos.

My First Chainsaw

Item! The most effeminate chainsaw of all time! Complete with “cord.” I cannot imagine this lil’ guy tearing even through balsa, so there must be another reason for it’s …

Segway Panel

Courtesy of theonion.com’s new video section…my favorite yet.

Shame

While paying for my groceries after work, in walks the main guy from the butcher area at Heeb’s. I found myself incredibly embarrassed, holding my peanut butter and roma tomatoes.

Red Bull Chug Deax

There is not much that I enjoy about working on Saturdays. Not much at all. I do like the angle I have been taking regarding Red Bull consumption. Listen to still-drunk Charles’ nonsense comment …

U.K. Blokes

I have about had it with Ahmadinejad. I have definitely had it with the Royal British Marines being fucking pussies as well. You are soldiers; why don’t you act like it, dudes and dudette? The …

Sort of Spooky

Cheney is just lurching around in the bushes. Hmm...

Search Term Party Revisited

bouncerblog.com loves traffic. bouncerblog.com really loves all of you that actually read bouncerblog.com, and sort of loves all of you that like to look at bouncerblog.com’s pictures. …

Case of the Moondays

I am going to asterisk this post. Love those asterisks. *I woke up to eight inches of wet snow stretching out the SS’s bed cover. Not only will this keep us out of work for a few days, it will …

Eating Prowess

I love yard bird. Before After I am all that is man.

Pee Wee Brawl

If I have a prejudice, it is an uneasiness regarding the French-Canadians. Observe: [Flash video - no longer available] Pee Wee Hockey Brawl - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!This little …

Vegas Reminder

Dave, Chuck Chizzlah, and I are currently being snowed out of our latest fence project. Blah blah blah, Montana weather, blah blah blah. I realized that I have yet to post a picture of the newest …

Hammer Round ?

I wonder if Hammer has seen bouncerblog.com. I guarantee this is one of his strongest channels of exposure. Enjoy this fine and confusing mash-up. Can’t touch that.

More Food Court Action

Remember this guy? Well, he is still at it. Pimpin’ all over the mall. Double up…I love this guy.

Season Start

Back from Vegas; sort of broke. Landscape time.

Present Day Hazzard County

[Flash video - no longer available]I think I would shit if this dude came rolling past me sideways. I keep looking for Boss Hogg and Kooter.

Ready for Spring

While B.O.B. is waiting for his “I am actually not Larry Bird. I am however his brother, Terry Bird” mustache to darken, I am waiting for Spring to spring. Nice vest Joe.

Legionimite Madness

Holy moly. March Mustache Madness has thus far been completely mad. Cases in point: B.O.Beezie went for the Larry Bird ‘stache, again. I, again, went gunslinger. We both look creepy…MMM …

Check Your Calender

Steve the Intern’s brother B.O.B. and I decided that perhaps a pre-March Mustache Madness pic might be blog worthy. I decided to render the hell out of the women’s room photo, both to …

Rest Assured…

Hey there VHS owners. Fear not…Target still stocks VHS rewinders. *Rewinds Tapes Quickly *No Delay of Next Viewing …and my favorite… *Automatic Stop/Eject No more hard to find …

Worst Car Bomb Ever

You could not drive your obscure orange flare-sided truck well, let alone knock out the dated parabolic dishes…as per your charge [Flash video - no longer available]I, the rooster in the …

Fun at Best Buy

Grif’s trips through Billings all feature shopping stops at Best Buy…his five hard drives are all testaments to this. This ugly little dude apparently enjoys Best Buy for a different …

Fat Tuesday Goings On

Since Grif and I rule, we decided to spend last night in Livingston for a dose of amateur boxing. We have been frequenting the Tuesday Night Fights in Bozeman, and figured that we may as well head …

Afterhours Antics

Happy Presidents Day. I like Taft…he was chubby. Two entertaining pics for your viewing pleasure: Andy was skewered looking for a knife. Pat playing a round of popular Washington drinking game …

Cubs Woes

Kerry Wood fell out of his hot tub Monday night. He ought to be pitching off of a mound in another four or five days. My god. So it begins…‘07 baby

Rock On

This one is great. Also great is the fact that all of these videos are using other's bandwidth. Imagine bouncerblog.com on dial-up...

Yesss!

Guess who just doubled his shower efficiency?

Bouncer Paul’s Woes

Oh boy oh boy oh Hoy… As luck would have it, Bozeman Deaconess Hospital’s finest could not adequately diagnose when enough is enough regarding seizure medication. Example: Our Boy Hoy …

Fun at the Mall

I found myself at the mall this afternoon with some time to kill while waiting for a few bouncerblog.com shirts to be put together. An hour wait? Get real ShirtWorks. I found some entertaining things; …

Breaking K-Fed!!!

[Flash video - no longer available]Somebody leaked Federline’s Super Bowl commercial two hours ago. Try to tell me that K-Fed does not have talent. Rollin’ VIP. Deb Eve…this one is …

Weekend Awards

Sweetest jacket: Most innovative use of coaxial cable, automotive:

Weird Kid

[Google Video - no longer available] My children will do this trick in ninja costumes.

Words of Wisdom

Stanley Rhein, inventor of Mad Libs died today. He was seventy-poop years old. -Amir B.

Why Not?

This would have made for a pretty good Christmas card. I really like the direction that this blog is headed. Real shitty photoshop work.

Alf

House Explostion

Breaking this story… This is a cell phone pic taken by my buddy Bailly from the Smith’s parking lot forty minutes ago. Low resolution, but you can see how big that fireball is. He was …

Hace Frio

Enjoy this snapshot of my Chevy’s rear view mirror. This is just plain ridiculous. This SS saw 114 degrees in the South Dakota badlands last June on the way back from Greg’s Omaha wedding. …

WBW

I finally was able to pull this picture out of Kyle’s phone… Bob and I sporting our weird beards last weekend. Bob is obese according to the Bozeman Daily Chronicle, FYI.

Soul Brother Number One

Mom took a chance in letting me watch SNL as a pup. This surely aired well before I was watching the show post mass, but nonetheless has been in my head for a decade and a half. well well …

WTF

Either I am brain-dead from the long weekend or this clip is insane. I see a similarity between the Beach Blanket Bingo and Glen Quagmire’s Hic-A-Doo-La.

Saddam

You know what? I refuse to toe a line regarding this whole situation yet. I am, however, already quite tired of hearing “I bet we will see a video of the bastard hang” from a bunch of …

Retardation

Found this one cited on my Lost forum…say what you will Sidney versus SydneyIt turns out spelling may or may not cost you 6000 euro

Honesty

There you have it.

Pretty Funny

Some of the writers for CollegeHumor are terrific. This one had me rolling. New Ways to Give the FingerMy personal favorite is the Usual Suspects. Later players.

This is Great

We have had some creepy, boozed up, Buick driving Santas-for-pay show up to the Swanson Family Christmas shindigs over the years. They, however, have nothing on this guy. [Google Video - no longer …

Wii Girl

I desperately want a wii. Watch this vid…wait for the end.

Hard Hitting Reporting

Take this Stone Phillips… He is somewhere up there with John Stossel and that dude who works the sex stings. Hard Hitting.

Holidaytree Season

Is holidaytree the PC term? Dave is selling trees this year, which found Chuck Chisslah and I tramping around the Bridger Mountains looking for a few gems. It turns out that the Baxter Hotel required …

Novelty T

Classic shirt courtesy of Matty G: Go Cats.

Say Hi!

Heroics. Check out this link

Health Woes

Who throws a bar stool? Really? Who fractures a vertebrae sleeping? Really? As Grif’s face is essentially back to normal, Voy a.k.a. FreemoFoShoMo, and I are both down for stints on the pine. I …

Senator Tester

It turns out Jon hit the arcade in celebration of his win. Turns out.

More Hammer Time

[Google Video - no longer available] You’re guess is as good as mine.

Pumps and a Bump

Who does not like the girls with the pumps and a bump, Hammer? I am guessing this video is predates Can’t Touch This. Pumps and a bump, Pumps and a bump, we like the girls with the Pumps and a …

Denim Danielle

Hey teens. Remember this trio from a year ago? I still love these little pushovers…The “my favorite color is also lime green, Grandma” kids rule. Well, a dozen months later, same …

This is Bad

True story. This clip is taken from a live Dutch television show. The premise is basically that this dude lost both of his testicles in a medical accident…the rest is pure comedy. Bad.

Pick Your Poison

I like a lot of things. I like how Grif and I post garbage on here that goes largely unread unless of course said garbage pre or proceeds a photo or video clip. That is quite alright; bouncerblog.com …

Schwitzer /vs/ Koopman ’06

Brian Schweitzer’s bolo-tied-up smarmy ass just gained a level of respect in Swaniachi’s book. I hate partisan politics somewhat less than I hate blind belief sets…draw your own …

Bozeman Book Brigade

Get fucking real. With only about ten of seventeen million dollars raised for the library project, the library foundation is resorting to this means of transporting books across town. I really …

Extremely Cute Alien Girlfriend

Put yourself in the shoes of the dating clip editor charged with the task of slapping this beauty together… Yep, he sure pulls out the fact that his anime hero has an extremely cute alien …

406 in the Onion

Senatorial Candidate Challenges Opponent To Drop Out Of Race September 26, 2006 | Issue 42•39 HELENA, MT—As Montana’s Senate race heats up in its final weeks, Democrat Jon Tester has challenged …

Eve

Is this Grant?

Weird Fans

For some reason unbeknown yet to Grif and me, we were not able to view bouncerblog.com’s stats last week. Kyle came through (as usual) and we are good to go with the primary application that we …

Mike Hawk

Big shout out to college humor for this one…make sure you have some volume I know this joke is played out, but this jackass is definitely bouncerblog.com material

Stupid Car

I spotted this dandy of a vehicle in the Home Depot parking lot this afternoon. I think we need to track the owner down for a photo-op. Picture Grif in this little pistol shooter. Ahh. With oil below …

Rod/Mindy Update 1

Well, I am in Denver. Now where are all of the gotdamn omelets? The Zigmeister, Rev, and I made it to lovely Colorado (in the SS due to a Dodge Dakota that showed up to Bozeman three quarts low of oil …

R.I.P. Steve

Some will remember Steve “The Croc Hunter” Irwin for his daring exploits with dangerous animals. I will remember Steve Irwin as the only dude who can give Michael Jackson a run for his …

…Why Not?

A hour or so after that last post this is where things ended up. That’s right, a good ol’ fashioned chest shavin’. Cody had a reverse Eddie Munster thing going on with his hair which …

Hot Coed XXX Porn Olsen Twins

The bouncerblog.com crew has seven action packed minutes remaining of SundayFunday. I nearly spit Vinergey low-cal flavored wine out of my nose upon seeing this pic in the Janes’ boyz downstairs …

Coeds

Good thing the A-squad was on the clock last night, huh Bozeman. Three fights that I know of were stamped out by Kyle, ShirtShop, Bouncer B.O.B., Sergeant Tim Lucas, and who the hell else knows. I am …

Kevin Federline Fanclub

I will be the first to admit that K-Fed’s performance at the Teen Choice Awards was awkward. Take a look at this gem and tell me that the Federmeister is not awesome. <iframe …

Okay.

If I did believe in God, I believe God would be giving the owner of this SUV cancer or bad crops. I am sort of confused here…is this a penitent cowboy Calvin? Maybe if penitent cowboy Calvin …

Preppy

Remember that episode of Saved by the Bell when Zack Morris aka Preppy had the fast-talking teacher from the Micro Machines commercial who was apparently also a plumber? Well anyhow, Zack and Screech …

BFF

Hey…I know ladies…to hell with the guys…we are wearing our funny looking sweaters out on the town…sure, it may in fact be before noon on a Wednesday, but hey lets turn some …

Going Places

Pack your bags…we are heading to Appalachian State <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pVENWl8uBeg" frameborder="0" …

Bombs over Beirut

I stumbled across these pics on cnn.com. They are pretty remarkable. These were taken from a Hezbollah-laden suburb of Beirut on the twelfth and twenty-second of July respectfully. Seeing as how there …

Destiny?

I think I am definitely bound to wind up on Cops. Is that show still on? Anyhow, for the second Sunday in a row I ended up getting pulled over while shirtless. This week ended up better than last, …

Legal Woes

Yep. I was arrested this weekend.

Something is Afoot.

On my way home from work I spotted a) A late model accord, minus rear passenger window, with a “gone to race in a better place” Earnhardt memorial window cling, and b) A dude on a Segway I …

Weddings.

Throw in the Cha Cha Slide and flush a grand down the goddam toilet and that is about that.

Swanny’s Favorite Things

I enjoy looking at an alpaca with a funny hair-do. I enjoy when Voy crawls into a small space… …and throws up the “M” I enjoy going to gun shows, and therein seeing ponytails …

Swanny’s Hunting Prowess

Steph, Megs, and I stumbled across this sumbitch at Canyon Ferry this weekend…sometime after a swimming competition that my landlocked ass won. Hurray. This is about a six foot bull snake, …

Curious?

Just a quick one here–> I am baffled by the following: Which is sweeter? My Silverado SS, or… Lil’ dude’s mullet.

Hey.

Sorry for the lag in posts. Not really though; I have been busy. Between my buying the SS, skipping across Canyon Ferry on Dave’s jet ski, and beautifying various yards of Gallatin County, I …

Morrison Militia Update

Hey teens. I figured that it is due time I give the fans a photo summary of the goings on at Morrison Design and Landcape, in the beautiful Gallatin County, MT. Figure it out for yourselves, …

Apache Infatuation

I was looking for some more Sugarhill Gang Apache video content for my sweet MySpace profile, when I stumbled across this gem. Has anyone else noticed that bouncerblog has next to nothing to do with …

New Hot or Not

I cannot keep the public waiting. At a three to zero vote, more Hot or Not’s wins the poll. Here you go. Hot or NotI did however provide one vote, and presume that Kyle and my mom were the other …

Recap

I just returned home from an epic Yukon retrieval mission…I am hoping that 46 ounces (fl.) of V8, 24 ounces (fl.) of Mountain Dew, and 32 ounces (fl.) of Xzude sports drink will relieve me of …

Watch Out

HatShop and I will likely end up shirtless tonight. Watch out.

Its a Search Term Party!

I hate to have to trump your post JLo, **but there ain’t no party like a search term party! ‘cause a search term party don’t stop!**Whatever. Time has come, though, to let you all …

Questionable, but Delicious

This post is pretty much for John Swanson and Matt Zignego. Look what I found in my hand at the Legion. Sixteen delicious ounces… My favorite Old Style moments were in Wrigley a few years back. …

Christmas Morning Revisited

So Grif, J-Lo, and I all admitted to our spastic tendancies regarding video games. I can aver that I had at least enough class to pick my poisons. Enjoy the video. Either Kendall or Owen? Shit Grif, …

Lack of Photo Content

Either we are having less fun these days, or we are forgetting to document our antics for the site. I am guessing the later is the case, as per Josh’s blood alcohol test. And this photo. This …

A Few Things

First off…I am still unable to locate the correct driver to get my (new) wireless adapter up and running. Don’t hold your breath, but I may soon be blasting around town with a big ass …

I still love technology

This could easily be a clip of Grif. Or of me. Or of Josh. X-mas with bouncerblog.comMake sure you have the volume up and enjoy.

Jamaica Pictorial #3

Q) What do you do when you are traveling abroad and find your self quare in the middle of a racket? The maid accuses your traveling mates of stealing a woven tissue holder? The security guard lets a …

Jamaican Pictorial #2

After a long day of getting robbed, blasting a dude in the head with a haymaker clear from Montana, and getting robbed once again, I personally like to throw my feet up and crack into a cool Swizzle. …

Jamaica Pictorial #1

Walking on sea water riddled tile steps with a belly full of overproof rum (rum and butt) may or may not result in a hematoma in Jamaica. Lordhavemercy.

Adios Sukas

See you all in a week. I hope I run across a live connection on my travels, but if not… Ol’ Bird Flu and I will catch up with you all in about a week.

Assinine Police Report

This is courtesy of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle. I hope this is a sign that they re-hired the old police report author…these things used to be hilarious. **“Two men on West College Street …

Dancing Fat Kid

Here you go. Another stupid-assed kid clip. Pay special attention to his stocky dance move approximately 1/3 of the way through the clip. It is a crotch thrust of some sort, followed by a brief …

Kendall Sighting

I can’t imagine that they caught you by surprise with this bad boy. The picture looks to be less than spontaneous.

‘Stache Pics

Bouncer Bob…a.k.a. Larry Bird Swanny from the Block…a.k.a Justin Justache

It’s March

It is March. Happy March. Coming off our first month of declining numbers, bouncerblog.com is still going strong. Though Hatshop (I am working with hospitalpantshop or perhaps bluepaperpantshop) Tony …

Montana State’s New Mascot

Say hello to Champ! Whereas Monte, the University of Montana mascot, appears in the Sports Center headquarters from time to time, MSU’s mascot Champ! has recently had a makeover to look more …

Celebrity endorsement

…not quite celebrity status. Meet Biba Golic. The Anna Kournikova of table tennis. Definately bouncerblog.com material. Perhaps she would be willing to breech her killerspin contract and start …

Tax Time

I knocked out my taxes at the Pub Hippo this year. Did you? For those in the dark, the Hippo is home to the 22 oz Kiboko…cheap beer in a funny looking pimp cup. I prefer my Pub Pilsner, which I …

???

So, I have been curious about a bumper sticker I happened to see (on a Geo) a few days ago. Green lettering on a white background: “Oh no, not another learning experience.” Am I missing …

30000 lbs

I bet your average CET student could tell you that a cubic yard of crushed rock weighs roughly a ton. Well there are approximately fifteen yards of the junk right there. I think that is about 30,000 …

Who Needs a Dodge?

I am sure a few of our more faithful readers (yeah, that is you John Bach…stop buying Grif and I shots of Beam) will remember this gem from a few months back. Two Ford Fiestas in the …

406ers

Hey everybody. I picked up a copy of Filth and Foul’s newest album The 406ers this weekend. I have to say that I was surpised as hell at its quality. I ended up running into Nick at the …

Hooked on a Feeling

You all can thank me later for this link. The HoffAgain, courtesy of the Zigmeister. David Hasselhoff is now apparently a music video star in addition to a world class actor. Wow buddy.

Even Worse Than the Leather Pants Kid

First off…big shout out to Shmeric. It is nice to hear from you. No big bounces of late, but it is only a matter of time before I get smoked in the face again. Stay tuned. Now to the guts of …

Day Trip to Pony

Yesturday was good one. The Ohs boys, T-bone, Bailly, and I set out to retrieve a couch from Potosi Hot Springs, where T-bone works. Potosi is conveniently located near Pony, home of the Pony Bar and …

K Fed Working Construction?

Either Kevin Federline is working for Westworks Construction, or I am looking like a serious dirt-ball. I think my look is more along the lines of “I don’t recycle, and I will not likely …

header?

I have been throwing around ideas to replace out banner for some time…trial one. My Photoshop skills are notably less refined than Drew’s seem to be, but I got very close to what I was …

The Future of Transportation

This is pretty amazing. robotic roachEssentially what you are looking at is a cockroach with its antennae sliced off and replaced with a set of neural stimulators. These are triggered by means of …

Legion Ad?

Grif did a pretty fine job summarizing the weekend. Too much fun for this cowboy…I have spent the past twenty odd hours coughing and drinking orange juice. Maybe getting punched in the chest on …

Swanson Family Fun

According to my mom I missed one hell of a party in Glasgow on the first. The Swanson’s apparently felt a need to feel like ass on the second…to bring in ‘06 with headaches. Five …

Happy Weekend

Let’s everybody get excited for the weekend like this little dude. This is yet another WalMart find…inflatable bean bag chair. I have no idea what this kid is trying to do here. It looks …

NYE 06

I think I can wish you all a happy new year without offending any readers, so there you go. BartenderNicole, ShirtShop and I ran our asses off last night and succeeded in providing Bozeman with a …

Here You Go

Try these gems on for size, will you. Keeping it simple for our elementary school level patrons, Natedawgg was in Mexico; D was drunk as two skunks on Thursday. I hope HatShop and Grif get jiggy with …

Whew!

What a week! I just got back to town after one hell of a vacation. I was almost too busy to celebrate the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, which coincidentally falls very near to the winter solstice. …

From Alum to Ranger

This is my *first attempt at animation. Not bad for twenty odd minutes of work. It turns out that the Photoshop help index is useful. Here is my projected regression of Daryl’s facial hair as he …

Sesame Street

which of these things is like the others…which of these things is not the same… *hint: the urinals are different

Saturday’s Supplement

This is quite straightforward. Here are three members of the Morrison Militia enjoying the space bag. This shot may help to explain what led to the HatShop (ShirtShop?) Dance Party ‘05 Tony had …

Hatshop videos

**Update:**I figured out how to convert the Hatshop videos! You are now free to download them all and share them with your friends! (keep in mind that the quality is poor and the sound is totally …

Endorsements

bouncerblog.com would like to take the time to introduce a few fine products: Fantastico! floor cleaner and Smucker’s Sugar Free Maple Syrup. Fantastico! esta buenisimo! The syrup gets my …

See You On Thursday

This is what a bouncerblog.com sanctioned vacation is like… Catch you guys this weekend.

Pre-Finals Antics

I am Vegas bound tomorrow afternoon and quite excited to be getting out of town for a while. Between my retarded text message fighting with Paige, the Tony/Katie saga, and Grant getting popped in the …

PB&J

It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Now where you at? Now there you go! Family Guy

We Waited Bozeman.

First off, big shout out to Kellyn Brown of the Chronicle for the publicity in the Saturday edition. We did see a bit of a spike in our traffic, but not even a fraction of as much as Griff and I were …

The Ugly, the Bad, & the Good

I have been receiving odd looks since I moved to Bozeman regarding my growing up in Glasgow. West Dakota is pretty funny, aside from that I mostly get a lot of “Its pretty flat there, …

I am tired

I will be giving these photos an accompanying story in a bit…just a preview to let yall know we have you viewers in mind. I need about five naps after all of this shit. Sorry for the lapse …

Greetings from WalMart

This afternoon found me once again at the local WalMart killing time whilst a team of half-assed mechanics swapped out the oil in my Yukon. I have been dropping approximately 1/2 pint of power …

TGIS

I for one am looking forward to Monday. This birthday stuff is a whole load of bullshit…I don’t thrive on undeserved attention. I do however always end up overdoing things during this …

Dreamiest Slegion Employee Poll Results

I decided to throw in the towel for the Dreamiest Slegion Employee poll. New votes have become sparse…and I was still getting my ass kicked. Final results: Katie over Hat Shop, %39 to %34, …

Here we go again

Last night found me tired of people and tired in general at work. I find that tailgating will do that to a guy. After having my drunken homeboy Eric relate a pointless and long-winded story about a …

TGIF

This will be a quick one…I am to meet the Zigginator for a beer on his way through town shortly. Just a thought: Cody Janes–> I give you a 90% chance of waking up on Sunday and …

Hot or Not

Hey peeps. I am trying to give you all a weekly installment of my new Hot or Not section. Check it out; keep in mind that I am still not comfortable with the layout. Whatever. I know that the …

Ridiculousness

Foremost…check out the new hot or not section. It is linkable to your right. Enjoy and realize this is gen one of this bad boy; I will hammer out the format one of these days. Now, here is the …

Update

After three of my four Sleeg shifts of the week logged, I am becoming very tired of people. Question: Why does our society cater to the gutless? I have been dealing with officers Dunlop and Shultz of …

Weird Beard Weekend

Attention all bouncerblog.comers. This weekend marks the reemergence of the weird beard. Anthony has the weekend off from the country club and thus he Kyle and I will be sporting the hottest look in …

Good Stuff

I have a big case of cabin fever after being snowed out of work again. Check this out. Athletic Bear No idea as to when this happened, but is seems like PETA should take note.

WWKFD?

This is what Kevin Federline would do. I smell a Halloween costume.

Weird Weekend – Beard

Well here we go again. Here is the weekend in review from this blogger’s point of view. Let me first start by throwing up a thumb, as well as a crooked ass pinky to those Fightin’ …

You’re Invited

Follow along Jonny College Student. With the help of bouncerblog.com, you can bump up the excitement level of your average tailgate. Go from this to this to this Introducing the first ever …

Boy Band

All that remains now is our name (I was thinking 4-sure…but there are five of us) and a shit load of meterosexualizing. Ain’t no lie, baby bye bye bye…Bye Bye

Opening Tailgate

This Saturday marked the Montana State Fighting Bobcat’s home opener. The MSU grounds crew has provided the Cats with a terrific playing surface this season…unbeknownst to most alum and practically …

For Sale

Tell a friend…this beast is on the market. 1992 K5 Blazer appx. 142 thousand miles, 4x4, auto everything. Unfortuanately, this whip has no engine. Make me an offer. Oh, yeah…I forgot to …

Joe’s Kindred Spirit

Okay…one more obscure post before Grif and I tear it up. So my boss and I are waiting in line at Boondoggles (gas station sandwich shop…I love grinders, subs, dagwoods, whatever) when I …

Weekend Results

I am writing this post with a sore toe. Dehydration, stress, and Johnny Carino’s house merlot seem to have onset my gout. For those of you who are under fifty years of age and have better …

For the Kids!

Well. I feel bad :( about the crass content of that last post. Let us all loosen up a bit. Are you ready kids??? :) Heyyy!!!! :)It’s Louie Anderson! :)What a funny dude?!!! ;)Do you kids like …

Sandwich Outing

Hey y’all. Quick disclaimer. I have no intentions of turning bouncerblog.com into a site wherein I publish photos of those whom I feel that I am better than. See, I just ended a sentence in a …

Week in Review

What an interesting week in photos. I am amused for sure, but too feel slightly uneasy at the sights captured by my cellie cam. Check these out; chant some AC/DC. Monday morning. I spot this …

Meet the Reverend

So here he is. My unofficial mascot, friend, and partner in crime…The Reverend Owl Sharpton. Owl and I go back some deal of time. We crossed paths one fair Fall evening in Bozeman proper. See …

Welcome Back!

Bouncerblog.com is most proud to announce the reemergence of the rat-tail into societal commonplace. Note the fact that Bozeman is a college town…i.e. a hotbed of uppity poser folk. Our …

Weekend Heroics

Long story short…fight breaks out, Swanny hops the bar to swoon the female patrons, Griff wears one in the grill, Beam is consumed. Was “Billie Jean” playing during this …

Hello World!

We’re live and crackin….check back soon, and often