406 in the Onion

Senatorial Candidate Challenges Opponent To Drop Out Of Race
September 26, 2006 | Issue 42•39

HELENA, MT—As Montana’s Senate race heats up in its final weeks, Democrat Jon Tester has challenged his opponent, incumbent Republican Conrad Burns, to prove his commitment to his principles and to the people of Montana by dropping out of the race. “You have said time and again, Mr. Burns, that small governments best serve society,” said Tester during a speech before a prominent cattle-ranching group Monday. “If you believe what you say, then I challenge you: Prove your convictions by dropping out of this race, or be known as another politician who refuses to live by his word.” Burns responded to the challenge by issuing a counter-challenge calling upon his rival to limit all campaign spending from now until election night to zero.

I project that it is all done but the crying for Ol’ Burnsie.

One Reply to “406 in the Onion”

  1. First of all, just for those of you who don’t know, the Onion is a satirical news site so don’t take this seriously. I won’t get all political here, because frankly I don’t really care about who wins this race. I would probably lean toward Tester simply because of Burns’ stand against net neutrality though. So what if Burns took some money and it may have influenced his decisions. Big deal; it’s pretty naive to think there are more than a couple senators who don’t. They just haven’t been outed yet.
    Wait just a second, I just decided that flattops rule, so that clinches my vote for Tester.
    Oh and props to Swanny for the fancy quote balloon thing; pretty impressive.

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