The SEO Web Ninja Incident

So. I sell some links on my site from time to time. The people who do the actual purchasing of said links tend to be sketchy…some are just penny pinching scumbags, while others are outright nefarious. I had the opportunity to interact with the former type recently, in an email conversation / offer that turned a little sour.

For purpose of reference, the SEO genius sketchball from this post works here (as a web ninja) and here (as a shirtless starfighter.) See what I’m talking about?

Without further ado…the email thread:

Yoav – Operad Thu, Jan 26, 2012 at 1:25 PM
To: Joseph Swanson

Hello, how much do you charge for a positive review on a software?
And how long does it take to go live?

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Joseph swanson Sat, Jan28, 2012 at 12:15 PM
To: Yoav – Operad

Hello Yoav,

I typically do three review levels

$25 – Links only, worked into a post on a similar topic

$50 – Links and screenshots, brief post (appx 100 words)

$100 – Links, screenshots, user experince…lengthy review (appx 300 words)

I would prefer 48 hours to complete a review, but could do it within a day from acceptance if time is a concern.

If you are looking for a more comprehensive review, we can negotiate a price. All of my posts are topical, and will blend in with my typical content. I have had good luck driving traffic on my previous work.

Look forward to an opportunity…cheers

Joe

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Yoav – Operad Sun, Jan 29, 2012 at 8:24 AM
To: Joseph Swanson

Hi
I want two posts (with 100 words and links) Can you make it around
70$ total ?

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Joseph swanson Tue, Jan31, 2012 at 5:37 AM
To: Yoav – Operad

$85 and we have a deal. Send me details and I’ll have them for you in two days from time of email.

swantron.com is the url…I’ll add relevant pictures to the posts as well.

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Yoav – Operad Wed, Feb 1, 2012 at 11:17 AM
To: Joseph Swanson

Let’s make 3 for 100$ and call it a day?

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Joseph swanson Wed, Feb 1, 2012 at 11:06 PM
To: Yoav – Operad

I’ll do three posts in the 100 word range for $100. Positive reviews, blending in with the look and feel of my site.

Payment via PayPal.

Send details if that sounds reasonable

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Yoav – Operad Thu, Feb 2, 2012 at 9:22 AM
To: Joseph Swanson

100 words is uselss for SEO, it’s too little.

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Joseph swanson Thu, Feb 2, 2012 at 6:31 PM
To: Yoav – Operad

Now you are catching on. Allow me to remind you of the rates I run:

>>> $25 – Links only, worked into a post on a similar topic
>>>
>>> $50 – Links and screenshots, brief post (appx 100 words)
>>>
>>> $100 – Links, screenshots, user experince…lengthy review (appx 300 words)

I am not going to slide you three hundred dollars worth of my services for one hundred dollars, Yoav. Nice try.

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Yoav – Operad Sun, Feb 5, 2012 at 5:55 AM
To: Joseph Swanson

I’m not trying to get you to “slide” me anything,
But I’m sure that your’e aware that 50$ for a short paragraph is too much.

If you can compromise on a lesser price or more words let me know and I’ll
order 2-3 posts.

Thanks.

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Joseph swanson Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 8:38 AM
To: Yoav – Operad

Truth be told, I’m not sure I can rattle out one hundred words about any of your “products.” Your website is full of empty drivel, and the SEO game is a dead horse.

Best of luck and happy kicking…

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Yoav – Operad Thu, Feb 9, 2012 at 12:11 AM
To: Joseph swanson

Now you got my curious. I still haven’t given you any of my websites or products,

How did you gather the information to write me this rude message?

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Joseph swanson Thu, Feb 9, 2012 at 9:08 AM
To: Yoav – Operad

…my starting point was the gif attached as your email signature. It doesn’t take a web ninja to do the rest.

I was working under the assumption that you were looking for a review for something that either operand or sorezki is peddling. If there is another degree of separation, I am even less interested in writing a review. The thought of a software producer actually purchasing services of this nature makes me want to puke.

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Yoav – Operad Sat, Feb 11, 2012 at 11:42 PM
To: Joseph swanson

Well if you knew half a thing about SEO you would know that SEO agencies don’t pay for articles about THEMSELVES but about their clients that has to do with dozens of relevant subjects to the websites.

This conversation will now end because I’m having a hard time keeping myself from laughing at people such as yourself,

Have a great week amigo!

Bye.

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From: Joseph swanson [mailto:joe@swantron.com]

Joseph swanson Sun, Feb 12, 2012 at 12:55 PM
To: Yoav – Operad

Yoav,

Thank you for the lesson ins SEO. As payment for said lesson, I have prepared for you an image to be used as your email signature. I feel it is more befitting of a Web Ninja than what you currently use.

Kind regards,

Joe

web_ninja.jpg
11K

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Yoav – Operad Sun, Feb 12, 2012 at 2:07 PM
To: Joseph swanson

thanks brother!

Sincerely,

Yoav,
Operad OffPage SEO

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I guess we all learned a lesson today. I’m just not sure what that is. I thought I was going to get some money, but instead got a way better post. Yoav thought he was going to get some work done, but instead got a sweet new email signature.

I was getting sort of fed up with this guy, but once I found his bio thing…

…it turned into a whole different thing.

Maybe I should start selling signatures instead of links…that looks pretty killer.