Arduino Haiku

I put together a little sketch while I was horsing around with the Arduino serial monitor…


…pretty stupid, huh? Especially, since it repeats this horrible haiku every five seconds. Forever. This is, oddly enough, the first thing I have taken the required 10 seconds to add comments to my code, which ought to be worth at least a +1

* Awful Haiku
* This useless thing prints an aweful haiku
* repeatedly, for no particular reason
* courtesy of your friends @


void setup() // reset
Serial.begin(9600); // set serial baud


void loop() // loop area
Serial.println(“Haiku “); // start of haiku crap
Serial.println(” “);
Serial.println(“Arduinos are neat.”);
Serial.println(“You can do a bunch of crap;”);
Serial.println(“Like print a haiku.”);
Serial.println(” “);
Serial.println(” “);

delay(5000); // 5 second delay

+ 1 Haiku
– 1 Awful Haiku
+ 1 Comments in Code
– 1 Useless Program
– 1 No LEDs

-1 Total. Sorry for wasting your time.

How To Stretch a Wedding Band

1) Get this stuff


2) Put it like this

framing hammer ftw

3) Smash the crap out of the metal thing with the framing hammer, until stuck

vice grip ftw

4) Remove metal thing and ring with vice grips, awl, 2×4, and framing hammer…throw thumbs up.


Arduino Tri-Colored LED

Tri-Colored LED Arduino control. Check.

I’m bringing sexy back.

them other boys don't know how to act

Sadly enough, it is basically a ground coupled with a Red, Green, and Blue lead. Nonetheless, I’m pumped.

How to Fix a Paper Cutter

I walked into my designated printer room at work today to find the paper cutter broken. What a tragedy, right? I have absolutely no idea why we need a paper cutter, let alone several paper cutters, at our software shop FWIW. Regardless, I took it upon myself to remedy the problem. Sleep tight, thy co-workers…rest assured that you can again transform 8.5″ x 11″ paper sheets into 8.25″ x 11″ paper sheets, thanks to my pro bono paper cutter fixing skills. Observe.

What You’ll Need:

*Broken Paper Cutter
*Tape (Scotch)


1) Locate Point of Failure

You can see that this particular cutter has malfunctioned due to a broken cutting arm.

paper cutter

2) Procure a section of tape

(If you are unsure with what to do with the tape at this point, don’t worry…this will come into play in step 3)

paper cutter

3) Place tape section on the displaced cutting arm


4) Place displaced cutting arm on cutting arm articulating housing; secure tape

paper cutter

That’s that. Leave it in the printer room for the next idiot who actually uses a paper cutter…I bet bewilderment will ensue

Arduino Button Implementation

LED. Check
Breadboard. Check
Bunch of wires. Check.
C++. Check.

Not Pictured: Button

What is that under my finger? A BAD ASSED BUTTON!

I’m going to have this robot up and rolling in no time. Everyone knows that every robot needs at least one button…the fricking kill switch. For, in case, said robot gains sentience and tries to kill the creator. And I’m not going down by robot death. Skin cancer, maybe, but no death by robot.

Arduino Robot

I’m not there yet, but let’s chalk this one up as a step towards the end goal…which would be the title of this post. A Damned Arduino Robot!


Granted, this is basically just my hello world (hola mundo) program with the addition of a solderlss breadboard into the fray. But, it is awesome and, I am going to be the coolest dude on the block when I come rolling out with a bad-ass robot.

I had better get back to work.

How to Make Breakfast Burgers

Trying to spice things up around the breakfast table? Here is something new and interesting: breakfast burgers! Boy Howdy!

breakfast burger
too many noms to count. there are countlessly many noms here.

Not only are these breakfast burgers nutricious and delicious, they are uber easy to make. Follow these easy steps.

1) Make two too many bacon turkey burgers for dinner
2) Place said bonus burgers in a Rubbermaid container (here, I went for a 1L with rounded square edges)
3) Bring to work
4) Open container
5) Eat breakfast burgers at work, in the morning

***Note: breakfast burgers are best when enjoyed with multi-vitamin and coffee***

Arduino Hello World

Hola Mundo!

arduino hello world
if it's on then it's muthafuckin on G

See that blue LED? Pretty hard to miss. That is essentially the Arduino version a ‘hello world’ program. In other words…I’m live, suckaz. For what it is worth, that is my Mini 9, on Linux, talking to that microprocessor…no easy task. No hard task either, because our nerd-ass community is awesome. So is the command prompt.

Open source ninja. For the EE win.

How To Make Boring Stuff Awesome

Tired of boring stuff? Make it awesome!

#1. Boring old bagel. Notice the cavern? Hmm…what would make this awesome?


#2…aw shit…Tabasco sauce in the house!


#3…boom! Awesome.


With an open mind and sense of adventure, you too can make boring stuff awesome. Good luck!