Nursery Furniture Assembly

As I mentioned in the post that precedes this one, I have been assembling things on a larger scale lately. Well, larger scale for a smaller scale person…getting the nursery ready, namely. Both the crib and changing table came together nicely. Enjoy some pics and protips.

Protip: Although the product may merely require “a screwdriver” for assembly, this will take all day. You will want an electric drill.

building changing table
here we go

Right after the unboxing phase of this project, I found myself en route to Lowe’s. Not going to happen manually.

Protip: Lithium Ion battery technology is vastly superior to other cordless drill battery types. Take my word on this.

With long spans, tight threads, and two hands, it may be tough to get joints lined up. No problem…

Protip: Shim during assembly to level stuff.

building baby furniture
balancing act

There are all sorts of pieces in a kit of this size. Plenty of items with which to level other items. With curved edges on these pieces, I found myself using unused parts and towels to prop thing up, etc. Which leads me to…

Protip: Assemble loosely, level, tighten.

changing table done
^____----- mom taking picture

That sucker is so level, we have simultaneous picture action. +1 photogenic.

On to the crib…assembly was similar, but quicker. Same protips, with the addition of

Protip: Prepare tools ahead of time.

crib assembly

You sure wouldn’t want to find yourself with warm OMLs, a dead battery, etc. Sort of along the same lines as ‘measure twice, cut once.’ Only, more important.

So, the paint on those walls is new as well. This room is getting close to done…with three months to spare. Hopefully it turns out well…especially as there is no chance that the crib will fit through the door in an assembled state. I have a feeling it will be just fine.

How to Hang a Heavy Bag

This is not a chipper tale of how-to boastery. Far from it. I cartoonified the shit out of the following pics, in order to further convey the surreal darkness that was involved in this seemingly trivial task. Buckle up…it is not likely to be pleasant blog-reading.

The mission objective was simple enough: hang a heavy bag. The mission-turns-out-to-be-a-little-cooler-and-a-little-more-involved moment came when I realized there was approximately one punching bag length between the ceiling in my garage and the spot where I wanted the top of said bag. I’ll let the pictures tell the story, for the most part. My knuckles are all sorts of funked up, which is an indication of the title’s eventual success. Or aptness. Or giant fail…I’m still very confused.

Enough rambling…first thing I know, I’m standing on my Honda Trail 90, wondering how I ended up with a heavy bag (and Honda Trail 90) before I managed to end up with a goddamned ladder.

Unsafe at any Speed

When in Rome…snap a pic. It’s pretty much all about the photo-documentation at this point.

smoove criminal

“Uh” is incredibly right. That sucker was bouncing around looking down…not so stable when my arm and or both arms were above my head. Good thing I’m limber. Huh?

My grand idea involved two threaded rings. Innocent enough looking…

oh, nice
oh, nice

…fucking wrong. Far from innocent, when said threaded ring is dropped into spider-central…

darkest hell
darkest hell

Well, I managed to knock most of those webs out of place with my trusty framing hammer. Unfortunately, I knocked them right on that stupid shiny thing I was attemping to arm-fish out of the hole between the particle board, studs, spider poop, drywall, and darkest hell.

I got the stupid thing, did the weird shudder thing with my shoulders/neck for a half-minute, and got back into gear. Survival mode at this point. Darkest-hell-been-and-back-survival mode.

Either my creeped out spider dance brought me luck, or my engineering was sound. Or both…but it worked out, against most odds.

Position 1
Position 2

It works, and there is a box of delicious OML in the frame. So I guess I’ll count that as a win???

Great Idea of the Day: Cooler Chair

This stupid site is selling a very non-stupid item…the cooler chair.

I bet it could hold about 30 OMLs

Of course, the cooler access would be rendered more and more useless the emptier it gets…then again…that is when the sitting aspect of the product becomes more vital. Not sure where I am going with this thing; I’m confused. But I want one. Agh.

OML, an interpretation

I like sending Katie pictures of random drawings from work. Like this gem.

OML, c 2009, medium: sharpie & yellow notepad
OML, c 2009, medium: sharpie & yellow notepad

compared to the original…
I'll take 2
I'll take 2

I win. I always do.