Tag: Retarded

Posted on

Are Pajama Jeans Awesome?

Remember Pajama Jeans? I posted about them a while back, stating that society had hit a new low, due to the sheer level of WTF of which Pajama Jeans reek. Even sexy robot lady can’t make these look less than WTF.

pj jean
creepy robot lady is still sexy, creepy

Well, I can’t tell you if people are still making these things. I too can’t tell you if people are still buying or wearing Pajama Jeans.

I can say, with 100% certainty, that people are searching the webs for these retarded things…and en masse. Check the snapshot from Google Webmaster Tools:

no way
whaaaaaa????

Un. Fricking. Believable.

Well, I do get a kick out of the fact the Pajama Jeans would-be shoppers ended up here. I have a feeling they would appreciate the last post about the junk food in my desk drawer at work.

Posted on

Robomantic Robomance

In honor of the absolute worst national holiday, enjoy a Columbus-inspired robot picture:

king of the world
brobotmance

See what I did there? Now, picture Leo drawing a nudie pic of a big-ass-diamond-wearing-robot. Robomantic….more like brobomantic.

Posted on

Custom Pong Table

I know of one thing more annoying than table tennis…table tennis players. Oddly aggressive, hollering, talking shit, and most bizarre…striking athletic stances? Nope. Not buying into it.

Pretty sure the best thing that has ever happened to ping pong tables was the invention of beer pong. That is, until right crapping now.

Take a (high end (citation needed)) table tennis table:

killerspin
killerspinbro

Knock that self righteous assface down to size with a little yellow, polka-dotted dress:

killerdressbro
killerdressbro

Much better. Enjoy your sport, chaps.

Posted on

How to Make Breakfast Burgers

Trying to spice things up around the breakfast table? Here is something new and interesting: breakfast burgers! Boy Howdy!

breakfast burger
too many noms to count. there are countlessly many noms here.

Not only are these breakfast burgers nutricious and delicious, they are uber easy to make. Follow these easy steps.

1) Make two too many bacon turkey burgers for dinner
2) Place said bonus burgers in a Rubbermaid container (here, I went for a 1L with rounded square edges)
3) Bring to work
4) Open container
5) Eat breakfast burgers at work, in the morning

***Note: breakfast burgers are best when enjoyed with multi-vitamin and coffee***

Posted on

Worst. Joke. Ever.

Slashdot was bad, google is worse. Remember the whole Topeka changing its name to to Google thing…

hahahaha
that's funny, because Topeka changed it's name to Google

…see? It is like that, but only more asinine. Loads of laughter.

(disclaimer…google sandboxed swantron during my domain name change, rendering my PR 0…assfaces also dropped me from AdSense twice…fuck Google)

Posted on

Retarded Thing

3/2? From 10 to 12? Sorry. Can’t make it…I’m booked with a Retarded Thing.

reetarded thing
sorry...I,m booked

FWIW, Lotus Notes is also retarded.

Posted on

New Societal Low: Pajama Jeans

It could be argued that the Snuggie pretty much wiped out any credibility our nation had. Snuggie and Crocs, I suppose. Well, twist that knife handle, because somebody went ahead and invented Pajama Jeans. I didn’t misspeak. Pajama Jeans.

creepy sexy robolady is creepy

^^^Tired of looking like a lazy dick at KFC in sweats? Pajama Jeans are for you, friend.
^^^Getting too fat, too rapidly, to contain your fat ass with denim? Pajama Jeans are Cotton/Spandex stretchy wonderment. Problem solved.
^^^Want to looks classy at the gym? Just kidding…these look 100% retarded, regardless of setting.

~~steps on soapbox~~~
I bet these things sell like hot cakes, considering the impressive rate at which people are throwing in the towel on basic social tenets. Pajama Jeans would, maybe, make for a good national uniform bottom for the average overweight, responsibly dodging, globally ignorant, Everybody Loves Raymond-watching, American “adult.”
~~~steps off soapbox~~

Posted on

Surfer Trekkie Gear

Toes to the nose…of the USS Enterprise holo-deck. Do you like surfing? Star Trek? This is your product, champ:

hang 10, nerds
hang 10, in your parents' basement

Let me say off the bat that the only thing I know about surfing comes from multiple viewings of Blue Crush. Awesome movie. “I’m not cha brah”…”these my dah-donk-a-donks”…classic lines. Not really. Let me also say that I’m not uber-knowledgable on the ‘Trek, either. Once Jar-Jar and the kid from The Sixth Sense came into the fray, the series went downhill. And those Tribbles…what was that all about?

If you, on the other hand, are into the above things, pick one up.