You rubbed that on your butt? What does that even mean?

I love lasers. I love weapons. I REALLY LOVE LASER WEAPONS! U.S. Military…FTW! The latest addition to the arsenal is that bad boy pictured above. Optimus Prime laser, it is not. It is more closely related to the physics professor laser pointer, but way cooler. Like blind a dude from 2.5 miles cooler. Though it’s intended use is to act as a deterrent, I have money on the blinding thing. It is unlikely that the optical scope’s limitations would allow the user to keep that thing out of the target’s eyes 100%, and with a laser intensity high enough to produce a range like that, blindness would surely ensue. The only thing better than laser-weaponry would be laser-computer-weaponry. Slap a *nix netbook on that sucker…guaranteed I would have one preordered. It would look something like this…

I feel like punching out some windows at McDonalds, because the food is utter garbage…check out this McBizarreness From the Smoking Gun:

JANUARY 4–Meet Melodi Dushane. Angered that Chicken McNuggets were not available at an Ohio McDonald’s, the Toledo woman allegedly put her fist through the eatery’s drive-thru window. The January 1 McNuggets rage incident resulted in Dushane, 24, being arrested for felony vandalism and booked into the Lucas County jail, where the below mug shot was snapped. A Toledo Police Department report does not indicate why the McNuggets were not available Friday for purchase by Dushane, who has been ordered to stay away from the Main Street McDonald’s… …Last March, a Florida woman was arrested after she called 911 three times to complain that a McDonald’s was out of Chicken McNuggets. “This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one,” Latreasa Goodman told a police operator.

Here’s a big Hi-C cheers to Melodi, who’s white-trashy-ass name truly fits her white-trashy-ass crime.

That’s right…we are starting out 2010 with a little tech roundup. Roll Call PS3 Wii Dell Studio 15, running Ubuntu Karmic Koala Dell Mini 9, running Ubuntu Karmic Koala Netbook Remix Game Boy, gen 1 48" Visio 1080p Bresnan HD Cable / DVR Wireless Guitar Hero controllers Not pictured…17" Dell, also running Ubuntu, and my SmackBerry. I love technology.

***Note**** The probability of me enjoying any given movie is inversely proportional to the existance of “P.S.” in said movie’s title.

Toes to the nose…of the USS Enterprise holo-deck. Do you like surfing? Star Trek? This is your product, champ: Let me say off the bat that the only thing I know about surfing comes from multiple viewings of Blue Crush. Awesome movie. “I’m not cha brah”…“these my dah-donk-a-donks”…classic lines. Not really. Let me also say that I’m not uber-knowledgable on the ‘Trek, either. Once Jar-Jar and the kid from The Sixth Sense came into the fray, the series went downhill. And those Tribbles…what was that all about? If you, on the other hand, are into the above things, pick one up.

Time, again for another Family Circus farse. I hate these little bastards. Especially Jeffy.

In a move that sounds a whole lot like the plot of Armageddon, Russia’s space chief has announced his agency will consider sending a spacecraft to a large asteroid to knock it off its path in order to prevent a possible collision with Earth. Sweet. At least it is comforting to know that a simple slug will do the job, and no nuclear bombs are needed. I have money on them botching this job. Am I just bitter that my undergrad satelitte exploded at launch over the former USSR??? Maybe.

nothing to see here…testing to see if my archives are switched from bouncerblog to swantron

Mankind’s quest for the perfect breakfast is the theme of “2009: A Breakfast Odyssey”, a process that unfolds along a space-time continuum. We “pepper-sauce” our primordial past, and we “Triscuit-the-shit-out-of” a cosmic future. The powers of intuition thus become the doors of perception, in our ongoing collective journey.