I should add another frame of sad, since the swaperoo will have to take place at Wal-Mart. Boo.

To whom it may concern at Nabisco, I love your Triscuit wheat crackers. I am, however, confused by the spelling of “Triscuit.” Is this some sort of play on words with “biscuit?” When I think about whole grain crackers, bisquits do not come to mind. Also, your slogan is very retarded. Regards, Joe

Best known for playing the “I’ll never tell” girl, and the chick who humped Eminem in the factory during 8-mile, former Clueless star Brittany Murphy has died. Oh nos! Drug overdose? Show of hands…

Are you… Too cheap to shell out $ for a theatre seat? The resident of a 3-D theatre-less town? (Bozeman) Sure James Cameron can’t top Titanic…don’t care? Here you go…from Comixed: Looks good…I’m going.

Step 1) Tony Chachere’s the shit out of some Wheat Thins Step 2) Costco pickle jar the shit out of some water

i <3 za! nom nom nom The problem at hand is essentially this: “Suppose the harried waiter cuts the pizza off-centre, but with all the edge-to-edge cuts crossing at a single point, and with the same angle between adjacent cuts. The off-centre cuts mean the slices will not all be the same size, so if two people take turns to take neighbouring slices, will they get equal shares by the time they have gone right round the pizza - and if not, who will get more?” The visual break down of the proof is this, in a nutshell: Pretty slick stuff…NewScientist reports the details in a lengthy feature.. “He [Rick Mabry] suspected that someone, somewhere must already have worked out the simple-looking sums at the heart of the new expression, so he trawled the online world for theorems in the vast field of combinatorics - an area of pure mathematics concerned with listing, counting and rearranging - that might provide the key result he was looking for. Eventually he found what he was after: a 1999 paper that referenced a mathematical statement from 1979. There, Mabry found the tools he and Deiermann needed to show whether the complex algebra of the rectangular strips came out positive or negative. The rest of the proof then fell into place (American Mathematical Monthly, vol 116, p 423).” Awesome. I need to tear into the guts of this guy…pretty sweet (and asinine) math. For the non-math inclined, here is a sweet picture of Freemo, the Talking Pizza. He is funny.

If there is one thing I like more than animated GIFs, it is buffalo burger. And I love me some animated Gifs…following that line of reasoning, I really love me some buffalo burger. How about that slick guy^ ? And those slick burgers ^ ? Here is The Perfect Buffalo Burger recipe: Step 1) Place 1/2 lb ground buffalo in bowl Step 2) Add a few shakes of Worcestershire sauce (feel free to substitute Gloucestershire, Dorchester, or any other German-sounding sauce) Step 3) Toss in some bread crumbs…this will soak up what little fat there is, and keep the burgers from drying out Step 4) Fire up the George Foreman Grill…knock that sucker out Step 5) Cook until desired “done-ness” is achieved…I like my buffalo mooing, so two minutes per side is about perfect. Step 6) Assemble, and enjoy. Note: DO NOT OVERCOOK BUFFALO… order/eat it a full level of done-ness below how you would beef. Trust me on this one. Note 2: UBUNTU RULES… try tossing an animated gif together using the trial version of Corel Paint that comes with your stupid Windows machine. The Gimp is free as always with Karmic Koala. Linux rules. Trust me on this one, too.

This is how I roll… Step 1) Cholula the shit out of some Wheat Thins Step 2) Costco pickle jar the shit out of some water (RockStar optional)

I hate my mailman. Mail Fail…Epic Mail Fail.