Happy Presidents Day. I like Taft, because he was fat. Here is what I did, on my day off from banking software.

1. Attacked our clogged kitchen sink dilemma, again. ~~Pretty glad I opted not to be a plumber, even though I rule at plumbing. Not really about the ruling, but I most assuredly would hate to be a plumber.
2. Busted out the vacuum. Pretty sure I opted not to be a vacuum-er for my profession. I’m pretty good with a vacuum, though.
3. 5.5 miles on the elliptical. Hulu is the best thing to happen to working out at home, and Nova is the best thing to happen to Hulu. I learned about deciphering Mayan writing today. It was pretty awesome.
4. Did a little spray paint art…a.k.a. “Man Art” It will eventually be a samurai…pretty manish.
5. Currently, doing a little blogging, with Smokie on Pandora in the background. It’s a wrap.

What do Glenn Beck, Dennis Miller, and Dr. Laura and I all have in common? An opportunity to tell our followers about Goldline, that’s what. I bet Glenn’s going rate is significantly higher than mine, but I’ll gladly join that roster…you would be a fool not to take an opportunity to promote a good thing, like gold. If I was a smarter man, I would have jumped on the gold bandwagon before it hit four-figure prices. My grandpa had a stash of gold coins…I’m not exactly sure why the Boomers collected gold as a savings strategy, yet the subsequent generations seem to have forgotten about gold until recently. With my mutual funds absolutely taking beatings, (down nearly the price of an oz of gold last month alone) I think the smart thing to do is to purchase something of physical value. The biggest question that I had was that of “where do you buy gold?” With Edward Jones offices on every other block, buying mutual funds is a snap. The downfall with that method of retirement planning and/or savings is the overhead. How do they keep the lights on in those 50x20 strip mall offices and their suit dresses so nicely pressed? Overhead. They take their cut before it even sees the fund…sometimes to a ridiculous extent. Easy. Goldline makes it easy to buy gold online. Very easy…hit the link to see. They have a ticker displaying the daily spot prices…makes it easy to see how much better your gold is retaining its value compared to your stocks. Pretty slick Mark my words…I’ll have a stack of gold pigeon-holed before 2010 is out. It really seems like the logical thing to do.

It could be argued that the Snuggie pretty much wiped out any credibility our nation had. Snuggie and Crocs, I suppose. Well, twist that knife handle, because somebody went ahead and invented Pajama Jeans. I didn’t misspeak. Pajama Jeans. ^^^Tired of looking like a lazy dick at KFC in sweats? Pajama Jeans are for you, friend. ^^^Getting too fat, too rapidly, to contain your fat ass with denim? Pajama Jeans are Cotton/Spandex stretchy wonderment. Problem solved. ^^^Want to looks classy at the gym? Just kidding…these look 100% retarded, regardless of setting. steps on soapbox~~~ I bet these things sell like hot cakes, considering the impressive rate at which people are throwing in the towel on basic social tenets. Pajama Jeans would, maybe, make for a good national uniform bottom for the average overweight, responsibly dodging, globally ignorant, Everybody Loves Raymond-watching, American “adult.” ~~~steps off soapbox

Here we go… I re-watched the last half (non Kate B.S. portion) of episode 2 today on the elliptical…here go the musings. ~ The date on Claire’s Ethan produced ultrasound is a month or so past the original crash date. WTF, yo? No ideas here. ~ The Temple Others leader (Dogan?) has a baseball on his desk…brings to mind the whole Red Sox win The Series interplay between Jack and Ben. I suspect this to be big, since it was telegraphed. ~ Sawyer seemed genuinely sullen…jumped a peg in my favourite Lostie book.#1, FWIW ~ Claire = new Russoau? I butchered that spelling likely, but I don’t care to look it up. Fuck you. ~ The “infection” mentioned. I’m guessing that Christian, Faux Locke, Eko’s brother, and even Claire are all dead, and ‘infected’ per se. These are the people Russoau (suck it) was battling and cautious about…pretty obscure, but this is my take. and finally ~ The time lines will merge. The LAX dudes (2004) seem to intuitively know stuff that only the real time (be it 2007, via 2004»1977»1945»2007 or directly from 2007) dudes know…I’m saying that Juliette’s bomb somehow did this, and will explain why this is such. She was babbling about coffee with Sawyer when she was on her death bed, and said via Miles that it worked…just wait for it. Regardless, things are going to have to be very fast paced to wrap up in < 10 hours…should be very interesing

I’m pretty sure the printer room in a software company is where obscure office shit goes to die. There are always random dried-out hi-lite markers, cap-less ballpoints, and roughly seventy staplers sitting amongst the unclaimed recipes in each of the printer stations. Which of these of the least value? You decide. Entry 1___Stapler Remover. You know what? If your initial staple fails, perhaps you should not be stapling in the first place. Either you stapled incorrectly, and suck at stapling, or attempted to staple far too many papers together at once, and suck at stapling in that regard. Regardless, extra ‘worthlessness’ awarded due to setting…no staples required in software production. Entry 2__Paper Clip Holder. Had one of these at the old cube…LOVED IT. Great to fiddle with. I can hold, in my possession, a paper clip for about 45 seconds before I have the straight outside part bent out and underneath a fingernail. Paper clips make getting potato chips fragments out of keyboards a snap. As far as the holder…useless. A non-magnetic box of toothpicks would be economically far more feasible. Entry 3__Electric Three Hole Punch. You know what really sucks? When your goddamn coffee maker at work is out of commission, yet there is a fully functional, electric, 3-hole punch sitting there. Look how full that collection bin is ^… it really makes you wonder what the fuck people are 3-hole binding, again, at a software company. What an absolute toss-up! It is a good thing that I am not in the printer room often…guaranteed I’d have a paper clip jammed in that 3-hole punch in no time. Or a staple-remover-pierce marks on the webbing of my hand…

Who doesn’t like 3D? This ol’ gal certainly does. Or did. I don’t get the last joke, but Engadget reported the following: Get your active shutter glasses ready: your PS3 is going to go 3D this Summer. In conjunction with the release of its 3D BRAVIA LCD sets, Sony is planning to release updates to turn the PS3 both into a stereoscopic 3D gaming platform, in addition to a 3D Blu-ray compatible movie player. Sure, we knew Sony was planning to give us 3D sometime this year, but now that we’ve got a summer time frame we can plan our wardrobe decisions according – jean cut-offs, here we come! I’ll gladly wait for Visio to come out with a 3D LCD/LED, and kindly pay less than half of the price of a Bravia, thanks. Regardless, this is pretty sweet news.

The best thing to happen to ketchup since the upside-down bottle thing: For maximum high fructose corn syrup intake, you can dip shit in this thing or go old-school and squeeze this shit on other shit. Now, we just need to clear up the whole ketchup/catsup naming conundrum, and we’ll be good to go. The future is here, my friends.

Upon hearing preliminary reports that DC is about to get precisely 1 assload of snow, swantron.com has managed to deploy a field agent robot reporter to the scene. How are things looking, REPORTRON? REPORTRON: ALMOST TO LEVEL OF VERTICAL THINGS WARNING!~ ~REPORTRON: VERTICAL THINGS JEOPARDIZED!FLAG RETENTION UNIT JEOPARDIZED! JEOPARDY X2! CAUTION REPORTRON: ODD LOOKING STATUE COMPROMISED! SOLID PRECIPITATION LEVEL TO STATUE NUTSACK! BEWARE! Things are quite dire, it seems. REPORTRON is all metric, so things might be over or understated for an empirical system audience… stay tuned for breaking footage! Godspeed, REPORTRON.

Wikipedia states (horribly) : “Sunglasses can be worn to hide one’s eyes: They can make eye contact impossible, which can be intimidating to those not wearing sunglasses; the avoided eye contact can also demonstrate the wearer’s detachment,[citation needed] which is considered desirable (“cool”) in some circles.” Some circles? I think all circles would consider sunglasses cool, or even bad-ass. Like the over-the-top-awesome MP3 shades that Dog the Bounty Hunter sports, regardless of location and time of day… …calling those things cool is like calling Richard Branson’s sea-plane “neat.” Grossly understated. I know a lot of the swantron reader base is looking for deals. And so! Here is an opportunity to render deals somewhat moot…. check out the screaming deals on wholesale sunglasses I dug up. The selection is pretty incredible, and the prices are honestly surprisingly low. If I could get the e-tail thing rolling, I would not hesitate for a second to start slanging these things…you name it, they have it. It is hard to think about sunglasses without thinking Blues Brothers. That movie single-handedly made the Ray-Ban Wayfarer iconic. They have shades inspired by the Wayfarer, and shades that have taken that notion and pimped them out for the kids… Not over-the-top enough? Hook up some stutters a la Kanye Croakies sold separately. Gigantic Croakies, hopefully not available for purchase…so bad Those puppies would look slick on those MP3 shades. Black of course. Anyhow, hit the link for a look at some sweet wholesale sunglasses. Drop me a line if you start selling those suckers, because I’m always in the market for some aviators.

I’ve had time to digest E1. As much time as it takes to decipher nonsense, but time none-the-less Musings / Observations: ~ No sign of my favourite Tail-y and Lost-y in general, Mr. Eko. Mista Eko ~ Likewise, no sign of Michael, Walt (WAAAAALT!), Ana Lucia, Libby, and Shannon ~ Less vodka? In the pilot, Jack scored two extra mini-bottles of vodka…Cindy doles out only one in the reset ~ Same scene as ^, Rose is comforting Jack…role reversal ~ Charlie wants to die, whereas Hugo claims to be lucky as hell ~ Locke is still wheelchair bound, yet still claims to have gone on his walk-about…how the hell did he have time for it, and still catch Oceanic 815? ~ First hour (recap) drilled straight into the 2nd hour’s last-season-of-lost-answer-some-crap rapid pace ~ Smokie = Man in Black…no more wondering about that ~ Ben gets punk’d…tries to be slick after wiping out Jacob, until getting pwned and shpwn dead Locke ~ Hugo being decisive after seeing Jacob was intense, and anti-Jack ~ LeFleur is going to tear shit up…took out 4 Udders before they got him sacked and to the Temple and most importantly… ~ My main man Sayid is ‘New Jacob’. Write that down…I called it. Miles was stunned and Jack failed. It is going to be awesome. Pretty excited at the pace and feel of the final season. The reset will play itself out. There will be a few long ‘why Kate did what she did…Sawyer being good’ episodes, granted, but it should be a quick 30+ hours.