Toes to the nose…of the USS Enterprise holo-deck. Do you like surfing? Star Trek? This is your product, champ: Let me say off the bat that the only thing I know about surfing comes from multiple viewings of Blue Crush. Awesome movie. “I’m not cha brah”…“these my dah-donk-a-donks”…classic lines. Not really. Let me also say that I’m not uber-knowledgable on the ‘Trek, either. Once Jar-Jar and the kid from The Sixth Sense came into the fray, the series went downhill. And those Tribbles…what was that all about? If you, on the other hand, are into the above things, pick one up.

Time, again for another Family Circus farse. I hate these little bastards. Especially Jeffy.

In a move that sounds a whole lot like the plot of Armageddon, Russia’s space chief has announced his agency will consider sending a spacecraft to a large asteroid to knock it off its path in order to prevent a possible collision with Earth. Sweet. At least it is comforting to know that a simple slug will do the job, and no nuclear bombs are needed. I have money on them botching this job. Am I just bitter that my undergrad satelitte exploded at launch over the former USSR??? Maybe.

nothing to see here…testing to see if my archives are switched from bouncerblog to swantron

Mankind’s quest for the perfect breakfast is the theme of “2009: A Breakfast Odyssey”, a process that unfolds along a space-time continuum. We “pepper-sauce” our primordial past, and we “Triscuit-the-shit-out-of” a cosmic future. The powers of intuition thus become the doors of perception, in our ongoing collective journey.

I should add another frame of sad, since the swaperoo will have to take place at Wal-Mart. Boo.

To whom it may concern at Nabisco, I love your Triscuit wheat crackers. I am, however, confused by the spelling of “Triscuit.” Is this some sort of play on words with “biscuit?” When I think about whole grain crackers, bisquits do not come to mind. Also, your slogan is very retarded. Regards, Joe

Best known for playing the “I’ll never tell” girl, and the chick who humped Eminem in the factory during 8-mile, former Clueless star Brittany Murphy has died. Oh nos! Drug overdose? Show of hands…

Are you… Too cheap to shell out $ for a theatre seat? The resident of a 3-D theatre-less town? (Bozeman) Sure James Cameron can’t top Titanic…don’t care? Here you go…from Comixed:

Looks good…I’m going.

1. Step 1: Tony Chachere’s the shit out of some Wheat Thins
2. Step 2: Costco pickle jar the shit out of some water