i <3 za! nom nom nom

The problem at hand is essentially this: “Suppose the harried waiter cuts the pizza off-centre, but with all the edge-to-edge cuts crossing at a single point, and with the same angle between adjacent cuts. The off-centre cuts mean the slices will not all be the same size, so if two people take turns to take neighbouring slices, will they get equal shares by the time they have gone right round the pizza - and if not, who will get more?”

The visual break down of the proof is this, in a nutshell:

Pretty slick stuff…NewScientist reports the details in a lengthy feature.. “He [Rick Mabry] suspected that someone, somewhere must already have worked out the simple-looking sums at the heart of the new expression, so he trawled the online world for theorems in the vast field of combinatorics - an area of pure mathematics concerned with listing, counting and rearranging - that might provide the key result he was looking for. Eventually he found what he was after: a 1999 paper that referenced a mathematical statement from 1979. There, Mabry found the tools he and Deiermann needed to show whether the complex algebra of the rectangular strips came out positive or negative. The rest of the proof then fell into place (American Mathematical Monthly, vol 116, p 423).”

Awesome. I need to tear into the guts of this guy…pretty sweet (and asinine) math. For the non-math inclined, here is a sweet picture of Freemo, the Talking Pizza. He is funny.

If there is one thing I like more than animated GIFs, it is buffalo burger. And I love me some animated Gifs…following that line of reasoning, I really love me some buffalo burger.

How about that slick guy^ ? And those slick burgers ^ ? Here is The Perfect Buffalo Burger recipe:

1. Step 1: Place 1/2 lb ground buffalo in bowl
2. Step 2: Add a few shakes of Worcestershire sauce (feel free to substitute Gloucestershire, Dorchester, or any other German-sounding sauce)
3. Step 3: Toss in some bread crumbs…this will soak up what little fat there is, and keep the burgers from drying out
4. Step 4: Fire up the George Foreman Grill…knock that sucker out
5. Step 5: Cook until desired “done-ness” is achieved…I like my buffalo mooing, so two minutes per side is about perfect.
6. Step 6: Assemble, and enjoy.

[!NOTE] DO NOT OVERCOOK BUFFALO… order/eat it a full level of done-ness below how you would beef. Trust me on this one.

[!TIP] UBUNTU RULES… try tossing an animated gif together using the trial version of Corel Paint that comes with your stupid Windows machine. The Gimp is free as always with Karmic Koala. Linux rules. Trust me on this one, too.

This is how I roll…

1. Step 1: Cholula the shit out of some Wheat Thins
2. Step 2: Costco pickle jar the shit out of some water (RockStar optional)

I hate my mailman.

Mail Fail…Epic Mail Fail.

Fuck Funyons. I’m an Onyums guy.

I fired up the Bozeman Daily Chronicle today to find a treat. As luck would have it, my corpulent former RA from the dorms is in some hot water. Good stuff…

From the Cronicle:

A Belgrade man pleaded guilty in federal court Thursday to attempted sexual exploitation of children, U.S. Attorney Bill Mercer said in a written statement. Rayne Allen Wolery, 30, was accused of corresponding with a 14-year-old girl on Facebook beginning in June. According to prosecutors, Wolery had met the 14-year-old girl briefly in a chance encounter at a marina near Helena, then looked her up on Facebook and contacted her. When Wolery’s conversations became sexual, law enforcement in Helena began posing as the girl on her Facebook account. Wolery sent pictures of his naked penis to the girl’s account and asked her to show them to a friend, prosecutors said. Wolery also asked the girl and her friend to take sexually explicit photographs of themselves and send them to him over the Internet. Wolery was arrested, and a search of his computer and Nokia cell phone showed they had been used to communicate with the girl and undercover police. When questioned, Wolery admitted sending the pictures of himself, thinking they were going to a 14-year-old girl and her friend. He also admitted to asking for explicit photos of the girls. Sentencing is set for March 18, 2010. He is currently detained. Wolery faces up to 30 years in prison, a $250,000 fine and lifetime supervision. The investigation was a cooperative effort between the Federal Bureau of Investigation, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, and Montana Division of Criminal Investigation.

The Cronicle staff didn’t include a picture of this piece of shit…I will

That beady-eyed creep was too inept to carry out his RA duties with twenty of us honors students…I’m not surprised in the least that he botched his attempt at child predatorialism. I don’t have any patience for this type of shit…with any luck Rayne will sit in prison for a long, long time. I’m glad the girls weren’t hurt, aside from damage incurred by viewing the picture of his “naked penis”, of course. Gross.

Unfortunately the swirly light thing over Norway wasn’t a visitor from outer-space. You crazy-ass Scientologists will have to wait for Xenu…turns out the spiral was just a little Ruskie submarine launched ballistic missile (SLBM) that failed..

Per the BBC:

“A Russian test launch of an intercontinental missile has failed, resulting in a white light seen over parts of Norway. The submarine-based Bulava ballistic missile failed when launched from the White Sea, the Defence Ministry’s press office told Itar-Tass news agency. Russian newspapers had earlier reported the failure. At least six of 13 previous tests also ended in failure. The Bulava can carry six individually targeted nuclear warheads. It is designed to have a range of 10,000km (6,200 miles), but its repeated failures have caused embarrassment for Russia which hoped it would support its nuclear deterrent. “

Great! Just a little SLBM mishap. Let’s just assume that Russia and the States are buddies (or over 10,000km apart) and get back to worrying about Tiger Woods.

I’m going to side with the realists and say that this is likely due to a rocket, (exhaust, or out-gassing payload) and not a UFO…

…but just in case, swantron.com welcomes our swirly overlords. Click on some ads.