I am Vegas bound tomorrow afternoon and quite excited to be getting out of town for a while. Between my retarded text message fighting with Paige, the Tony/Katie saga, and Grant getting popped in the mouth at the Izar Bizar…I think I am ready to blow off some steam at the roulette table. Dave and I are probably going to be the two coolest dudes in Nevada. I expect to be kicking it with b-list celebs, Martin Mull and Frankie Munez and so forth. Maybe Johnny Fairplay will be hanging out. Anyhow Hot or Not is new. Check it out.

This weekend was not all bad. We did manage to add to our ladies room photo collection. It turns out that Bouncer Bob aka the Notorious B.O.B is actually a fairly photogenic guy. Who would have thought?

I know this shit is stupid, but we honestly get a kick out of doing it. And Bob looks nearly as gigantic as the chick in our photo gallery.

Also of note, I also think that giving grown men wine coolers is about the side-splittenest thing a person can do. This is Mark chugging a Bahama Mama, in doubt so pinky out. As fate would have it, the snow on Mark’s back porch had a pink hue to it on the morning following this episode. Maybe the only thing funnier than a guy chugging Bahama Mama’s is a guy vomiting Bahama Mama’s.

Big shout out to Griff and his board game double date last night. Thumbs up.

The last order of business involves our second confirmed “hater” of bouncerblog.com. I know we have disappointed a few people, and apparently brought one to tears by letting Shama do his thing in the gallery. I think Grant is honestly offended by his lack of recognition on the site, so here you go. Nerd.

I am toying with the idea of taking my laptop on the trip to keep folks posted as to what sort of trouble Dave and I cause. Perhaps I could create a chart to log my Wells Fargo balance…who knows. Frankie Munez and I watching the pirate show at Treasure Island?

It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Now where you at? Now there you go! Family Guy

First off, big shout out to Kellyn Brown of the Chronicle for the publicity in the Saturday edition. We did see a bit of a spike in our traffic, but not even a fraction of as much as Griff and I were anticipating at three in the morning. Sad dog :( In retrospect, I suppose that the intersection of the group of people who appreciate stupid shit like bouncing, facial hair, and computers, and the group of people who subscribe to the daily news is quite small. But I still love technology. Well whatever…I am okay with not being famous. Plus, I can put together posts such as this without the fear of offending people around town who prepare my food. For the time being I can take a few quick jabs at mullet heads without eating spit. Which brings me to the following.

Story time. A few years ago Ziggy and I were playing Trivial Pursuit, or shooting stuff with pellet guns, or preparing Top Ramen, or doing whatever college kids do. He asked me to cut his hair for him, I agreed under the condition that I would cut him a junior mullet. It was sweet indeed. I told him that I would not fix it for him unless he wore a tough guy shirt downtown to the Crystal for the night. A handful of months later I end up doing the exact same thing, minus the tough guy shirt, right before Christmas break. Zig’s father is upset with both of us, telling him that he cannot go into church, let alone public with said hairdo. Well some time elapses, finding Ziggy back in Whitefish with a brother of about the same impressionable age. He turns the same mullet trick I innovated…they grow up so fast. Also, take note of the creepy dude in the background moving in for the kill.

Next, I have included for your enjoyment two photos from my ‘05 collected works. I title them “Bewilderment” and “T-ball Pose Number 14.”

Big shout out to HatShopTony for his quick work throwing an asshole in a full nelson last night. Lastly, one for G-Barnz. You have seen me wear crusty Cubs hats for about thirteen years. I feel uneasy in this hat, but here you go with the proof that I do own a Navy NY. Watch out for this duo skipping class and eating burgers in the SUB next semester, MSU.

I have been receiving odd looks since I moved to Bozeman regarding my growing up in Glasgow. West Dakota is pretty funny, aside from that I mostly get a lot of “Its pretty flat there, huh?” and even more “Its cold there, huh?“s. Eastern Montana does have a number of drawbacks, but is honestly not that bad. I managed to snap a few photos during my jont back for Thanksgiving with you all in mind.

Stop one, Harlowtown.

I did not take the time to find out just how many businesses are operating in this berg, but the number cannot be more than about a dozen. Now, there are leaders and there are followers. Which of the three proprietors began using this lazy naming scheme is not as puzzling as the two others who jumped on the bandwagon. Quilts N Things, Coffee N Tea, and Clothes N Car Wash. Give me a break Harlo. I about broke my neck looking for Bakery N Guns. That concludes the Ugly section of this post. Small town America…I swear.

It is Bad that I have to feel gay to say that I miss the sunsets from my childhood. Enough of this section too.

On to the good. Fort Peck Reservoir. These photos do not really do justice to how large this body of water is…something like 130 miles long and over 200 feet deep in the channel. We were taught as kids that the reservoir has more shoreline than does the California coast. (fractals anybody?)

This all gets spit out to continue the Mighty Mo here. This picture was taken from roughly the same spot as the shot two frames ago, looking North rather than South.

Following the lake(sic) around its lesser arm is one route I often take when the weather permits. This way back to Bozeman offers between two and three hours of drive time with virtually no traffic. This is the badland area of MT…not hard to see why. The erosion patterns visible are hot spots for palentologists…they have been pulling a ton of specimens out of this stuff for the past few decades.

Last but not least. Wind power near Judith Gap. This past trip was my first back to G-funk since December ‘o4, which was pre-construction time for these monster turbines. I need to do some research regarding the entire setup. I heard an interview with Schweitzer in which he said that this project will provide 8% of Montana’s power, but I think this figure is low. I estimated between 75 and 100 turbines, with blades well over 40 feet…I will let you know.

So anyway…if you find out that somebody is from the eastern part of the state, exercise some tact in your response, please. Use the Harlowtown garbage if nothing else. Or combine them in a comical way…Energy N Fishin’ perhaps?

I will be giving these photos an accompanying story in a bit…just a preview to let yall know we have you viewers in mind. I need about five naps after all of this shit. Sorry for the lapse everybody. Here we go. This is Cat/Griz eve. Granted this Friday was busier than the average night, but the ladies room is always near this level of pure disorder. Kyle and I have a little mime act as to what may happen to leave things in this condition…it involves throwing toilet paper in the air and yelling “woo.” It is sort of funny at two thirty in the morning. Here are D, Griff, and I stocking the cooler after close. Two of the three recall this picture being taken. Good work Gackle. On to some actual Cat/Griz photos. Dave gets the party started with some Champagne far too early, and things just sort of play out from there. Auto-pilot as my homey Eve would say. Lets follow it up with a series of weird beard photos… …and then with Waldo’s drunk ass grabbing some zzz’s All right. Nobody really knows how exactly Dave ended up with the stamp pad from the doormen at the ticket entrance. It happened, however, resulting in a few dozen of our buddies and their buddies buddies cousins getting free passes into the Brawl of the Wild. Can you imagine the look on those guy’s faces when they realized that they botched the one simple task that was their charge? And then Voy invented a restroom. My photo journalism was lacking from this point on. I ended up on the field with a goal post, but for some reason the post is quite elusive in photography. I have some pics from Specs and from the field that I will toss in the gallery. The weekend in a photo? Right here. A big pork rind & beer thumbs up.

This afternoon found me once again at the local WalMart killing time whilst a team of half-assed mechanics swapped out the oil in my Yukon. I have been dropping approximately 1/2 pint of power steering fluid onto various area parking lots for a few months now…keep this in mind. Well, soon after entering the store from the auto service area, I came across this gem. Have you ever wondered how much it would cost a guy or gal to promptly indicate to his/her house guests of his amazing lack of class? Fifty eight bucks. Another sure shot way to indicate your udder classlessness would be to take the rug rats out to the old shopping center dressed like this…in mid-November. Yuck. So my story is really not that interesting. I did however play a few demo games on the Xbox 360, which was pleasant. Upon my return to the auto center check out area, the fella working the counter told me that he thinks I may have a slight fluid leak somewhere. Excellent sleuthing. Whoever made the decision to swap this guy out of housewares and into automotive deserves a promotion.

I for one am looking forward to Monday. This birthday stuff is a whole load of bullshit…I don’t thrive on undeserved attention. I do however always end up overdoing things during this period every single year; ‘05 was no exception. I have been dog-sitting for my boss, and doing so with tremendous headaches each morning; Friday was no exception. In addition to this, my ear was a bit sore, due to the presence of Hat Shop’s diamond earring in it. At least Biddy put the thing in my left ear. Neither of us can really recall why this came about, but we all agree that it looks surprisingly decent considering. I worked for a handful of hours on Friday before going it to tend bar. My big plan was to keep the big day under the radar for alcohol purposes, which worked quite well for a time. The last hour or so consisted of much too much Jim Beam, resulting in another of those aforementioned headaches on Saturday. The shift at the bar was going well, until a methed-up John Travolta fella showed up and started pitching about the dance floor. Upon my asking the patron to knock his intensity level down a few notches, he became less like John Travolta, and somewhat more like a more backwoods Chuck Norris. (Note: trying to drop some names for search engine reasons. Bubba Keg Bubba Keg) Well, Daryl and I get him drug out back, he attacks Daryl, we drop him, we let him go, he again attacks Daryl, we again drop him. We had to restrain him until the policia showed up, due to the cut on his forehead. Last night was the first time in 364 days that I had thrown a fist, and likely the first time in as long as Daryl had pinged a fella’s head off of a wall. Oh yeah, as this clown was carrying on in the back seat of the cruiser regarding getting jumped by Daryl’s friends (all 160 pounds of them) he told the police that the altercation was the result of him being a better dancer than the two of us. I doubt that, sir. I have polished some serious floor in my day.

This one is courtesy of Zig…enjoy. camel toads

I decided to throw in the towel for the Dreamiest Slegion Employee poll. New votes have become sparse…and I was still getting my ass kicked. Final results: Katie over Hat Shop, %39 to %34, respectively. Congratulations to both of you good looking kids…I have a feeling that two of my five votes were from my mom and little sister. Enjoy the newest installment; note the fact that you creative bloggers can add your own input this time. In other news, our favorite photo submitter, Chuck Dizzle, recently informed me that his model has been alerted of her presence in our gallery. Apparently her attitude towards said pictures was less than pleased. Shouting ensued…the police were mentioned…the pics are no longer posted. We regret any hard feelings. I personally feel that the TermiNater’s guy-boobs were more offensive.

Last night found me tired of people and tired in general at work. I find that tailgating will do that to a guy. After having my drunken homeboy Eric relate a pointless and long-winded story about a guy not being from Townsend, I decided to entertain myself by compiling some serious Hot or Not action. Enjoy. I was throwing around the idea of tossing Albert Charles “A.C.” Slater’s and Samuel “Screech” Powers’ photos up in place of the usual Hot or Not format…maybe next time. On to the weekend in photos…Friday night was not all too exciting for Grif, Tony Toni Tone, and me. Not a ton of drama, which is nice for a change. The Montana Department of Fish and Game had better watch out. They just issued this dude a uniform. Daryl was having more fun than most on Friday. He rolls into the bar with a head of steam after closing time and starts throwing out the MadTV Stewart poses. You had better start growing your goatee brother. Saturday finds me in charge of the food/drink portion of the Morrison Design and Landscaping/bouncerblog.com tailgate. Dave found himself in Helena at the Seinfeld stand-up show. Dave’s stomach found itself brimming with wine…a reported three bottles. By the time he rolls up, this is his condition. Note: this photo must have been taken during the forty five minute span of Kyle and Steph’s tailgate tenure. Also, that hot rod in the backdrop was running the entire time. Good work. Pre-nap time at Spectators is always a shit show. Some drink conservatively, some drink like Shuga Shane. Better work. Shane wasted no time in hitting the dance floor at the Sleeg upon his arrival. Now that’s what I’m talking about.